


The Wolf and The Sheep

by aislingdoheanta



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Espionage, Gen, HYDRA Agent Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor descriptions of injuries, Protective Steve Rogers, SHIELD Agent Steve Rogers, Slow Burn, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-30
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 23:03:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 50,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7911013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aislingdoheanta/pseuds/aislingdoheanta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers is a SHIELD agent who is recruited for a secret project: Becoming a handler for the Asset. Steve’s world is thrown for a loop when he discovers the Asset is an actual person and he needs to figure out who he is and what he’s going to do. </p><p>Steve as the Winter Soldier’s handler AU. (Non-HYDRA trash party.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Wolf and The Sheep

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by [this photoset,](http://thesafesthands.tumblr.com/post/128865581191/au-steve-rogers-as-the-winter-soldiers-handler) with the creator's ([thesafesthands](http://thesafesthands.tumblr.com/)) permission. Though it didn't exactly turn out the way I thought it would.
> 
> This was written for the 2016 Stucky Big Bang by [thestuckylibaray.](http://thestuckylibrary.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thanks to my lovely betas, [Betul (foulrescent)](http://foulrescent.tumblr.com/) and [Val (santargaryen)](http://santargaryen.tumblr.com/), who stuck with me all the way through to the end. 
> 
> As well as my amazing two artists, [Kat (doomcheese)](http://doomcheese.tumblr.com/post/149475039891/wolf-and-sheep-by-saras-almanac-ao3-tbc) and [Rui (ravefirell)](http://ravefirell.tumblr.com/post/149474202385/wanted-to-try-out-some-lighting-and-colours-for), who have created some of the most wonderful art for my story! Please go and check out their posts and like them/reblog them and share how amazing they are!
> 
>  **TW:** blood mentions, injuries mentions, mentions of past torture, and the treatment of the Winter Soldier. Nothing's too graphic, but it is in there. Just as a heads up!

* * *

 

Steve Rogers was a good soldier. Actually, if he wasn’t so humble, he’d say that he was a Damn Good Soldier, who might even be one of the greatest soldiers of recent history.

Though, of course, Steve would never say that. He’d just shrug off any attempts at praise and say that he was just doing his job like everyone else.

Everyone else didn’t become a Captain by the age of twenty-three. They also weren’t directly recruited by the head of SHIELD a few months after retiring from the army.

Growing up that was all Steve wanted to do. He wanted to fight for his country—just like his father had—and make a difference. His father’s army records were the only concrete memories Steve had of his father before he died and they illuminated the path for Steve to follow in his footsteps.

Steve’s father died from a friendly fire mishap on a routine mission when Steve was still very young. Even growing up and learning about the circumstances of his father’s death didn’t stop Steve’s desire to go out to serve and protect his country.

Unfortunately, Steve’s desire didn’t help with his poor health. Growing up, Steve spent more time in the hospital than out of it until he was eleven. His mother had used all the money they had received from his father’s pension and death benefits to pay for Steve’s treatments and medications.

His health problems made any sort of physical activity difficult, but that didn’t stop Steve from trying and training. Being considered so weak and sickly only fueled Steve’s determination. He trained all through high school. It wasn’t like he didn’t’ have the time; he wasn’t in any sports, clubs, or extracurricular activities.

Steve basically lived for his training. And his mother.

It wasn’t that big of a shock when Steve enlisted the day he turned eighteen. Technically it was the day after since his birthday was July fourth and the enlistment office wasn’t open.

Steve was sent to training only a few short weeks later; he had refused to take no for an answer. His stubborn streak was a mile wide because he was shipped overseas at the first chance he was able to, a few short weeks after he completely his training.

Steve basically stayed overseas for the next ten years. He only came back when his mother was ill and on holiday leave. He refused to stay stateside when there were so many other men back over there, still fighting.

It only got worse when he was promoted. Steve never felt good about leaving his men out there while he went back home. He had always thought that the people in charge should be right there with everyone else, right in the trenches. It never made sense to Steve that the people calling most of the shots were not even there to witness anything.

It was precisely this dedication that his soldiers respected. It was easier to follow a man who was right there with them than one who was sitting back in an air conditioned tent talking about how the statistics proved that this wasn’t as dangerous a mission as it looked on paper.

Of course, the time came when Steve had to make a choice:  should he go for Major or just cut his losses and retire?

Steve chose retirement because he didn’t want to be stuck behind a desk barking orders. He was meant to be fighting. It was what he was best at. It was what he enjoyed. It was all he knew.

However, it turned out that leaving the military wasn’t as difficult as Steve had feared. Everyone took it rather well, even his soldiers. They all had thought he’d deserved a break after being right in the thick of it for nearly ten solid years.

Trying to figure out his life after leaving, that was difficult.

Steve had been struggling to figure out what he wanted to do with his life now that he wasn’t a soldier when Nick Fury had shown up at his door to offer him a job. Steve had taken it without a second thought.

He worked for SHIELD, a government security agency that was created to help protect the country from threats that the military couldn’t or wouldn’t help with or didn’t even know about. Basically it felt a lot like that dirty work that the government would never admit to having any knowledge of.

Steve liked it because it reminded him of the military. He was happy just being a soldier, following the orders he was given. He adopted the attitude of keeping his head down and working, and it seemed to be working real well for him, so he never tried to rise through to ranks.

He didn’t really need to.

Besides he had a good STRIKE team with Brock Rumlow being the leader. He and Rumlow had a good relationship, and he respected Steve. Steve liked where he was.

Eventually, his team started working almost exclusively for Alexander Pierce, who was Nick Fury’s number two. Apparently Fury was too busy working with a group of “super-humans” or something. Steve wasn’t given any details. He probably wouldn’t have cared even if he had been told.

Instead, he just worked alongside Rumlow and his team, doing the work that needed to be done.

Steve was used a lot for extraction missions and reconnaissance. He was trusted to be by himself and capable of getting the information that he needed to get.

“Rogers,” Rumlow said, coming up to him in the locker room. “We’ve got a mission.”

Steve nodded. “Right behind ya.”

Steve shut his locker and followed Rumlow back to Pierce’s office.

“Captain Rogers,” Pierce greeted. “Just the man I was looking for. That’ll be all Rumlow.”

Rumlow frowned, but nodded and stepped out.

“Sir?” Steve prompted after a few seconds of silence as Pierce looked out of his window.

“There’s a mission I need you to go on,” Pierce explained.

“Details?” Steve asked.

“It’s different from your normal missions. You’ll be going with the team,” Pierce said.

Steve nodded.

“I don’t want you guys going in hot, but you might need to make a hasty exit,” Pierce said. “I need you to cover the team while Rumlow deals with an Asset of ours.”

“Understood, sir.” Steve said.

“You’ll have all the information you’ll need at the briefing. Send Rumlow in on your way out.”

Steve nodded and turned back toward the door. He wanted to ask more details, what was the asset, who was he going to be working with, where were they going to be working. But he couldn’t. It wasn’t his place to ask questions. He was meant to follow orders. He was a good soldier.

* * *

“Surprised to see you here,” Steve said to Rumlow when he caught up with him outside a hostile base in the middle of Mozambique.

“We’re a team,” Rumlow said clapping him on the back. “Besides, I can’t leave you to lead the team or you’ll have them all running in guns blazing.”

Steve chuckled and doubled checked his guns. “Where’s the asset you’re supposed to be using?”

Rumlow pointed across the small group of people where a man dressed all in black was holding a large grenade launcher.

“That’s going to do a lot of damage,” Steve said, shaking his head.

“You have no idea,” Rumlow responded, a strange smirk on his face. “But I’m not supposed to use it unless I absolutely have to.”

“That’s probably a good call,” Steve said, thinking about the innocent people that could be injured by a misfire of that thing.

“You hear that Fury’s trying to gather a STRIKE team of his own with those super-humans?” Rumlow asked him.

“Really? That sounds…” Steve struggled to come up with a word.”…Interesting.”

“Sounds dangerous,” Rumlow countered. “A bunch of people with super-powers or strength? Sounds like a regime to me.”

“Well, at least they’ll be fighting on our side,” Steve said, hoping that the conversation would be dropped.

Rumlow gave him a look and then shook his head. “They’re powerful, Rogers. More powerful than you and I. It’s only a matter of time before that power corrupts them and makes them think that they are better than we are.”

Thankfully they both spotted the jeeps driving up at the exact moment and everyone jumped into action. Rumlow started calling out orders and Steve found himself nearly pushed to the side as the rest of the team rushed into formation at Rumlow’s command.

Steve found himself standing near the guy with the launcher and wondered what he should do about it. He looked for Rumlow, but found nothing. Steve glanced around helplessly because it wasn’t his place to order someone else around, but he also didn’t want to risk this guy setting off grenades when they’re not necessary.

“Let’s leave that for now, yeah?” Steve encouraged. “You got a smaller gun?”

The man, whose face was mostly hidden by a mask, tilted his head. His dark long hair hung awkwardly about the man’s face, as though he didn’t give it a passing thought. It was strange because the rest of the man’s tact gear was meticulous. It was all black with straps crisscrossing over the man’s chest and back which the man used as holsters for various weapons.

The only part of the man’s entire person that wasn’t covered with black material was his left arm that seemed to be covered in some sort of metallic plating. A bullet ricocheted off the arm he’d just been looking at and Steve forced his attention back.

Steve glanced around, taking in the fight and realized that the jeeps had been a diversion. They were just holing their base while twice as many people ambushed them from all sides. They were effectively cornered.

“Fuck!” Steve shot at a person aiming directly for the guy in front of him. “Grab a gun and let’s go!”

The masked guy jumped into action, pulling a gun from the side of the vehicle he had been leaning on and running into the battle. Steve had to sprint to keep up with him. Steve might be a little overly zealous in his attacks, but at least he had some semblance of his own mortality. This guy seemed as though he didn’t believe that any bullets could hit him.

The guy deflected another bullet with his metal sleeve and Steve couldn’t help but be impressed. Clearly the guy had training.

Steve just followed him at his side and helped him pick off the few people that the guy left for him. It was chaos and confusion with people running in every direction, but Steve didn’t mind. He just followed the masked guy’s lead because he seemed to know what exactly was happening.

And he was good. Like, really good. The guy literally reached behind Steve and still managed to shoot the person running right towards Steve.

“Nice shot,” Steve complimented. “And thanks for that. Don’t think I’d be able to heal from a shot to the head.”

The guy just turned his attention back to the front but Steve got the impression that he was frowning.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Rumlow nearly roared.

Steve turned towards him and watched him nearly stomp his way back to where Steve and the masked guy were standing. He hadn’t seen Rumlow amidst all the chaos but clearly Rumlow had been keeping an eye on Steve.

“Covering you,” Steve said apologetically. “You guys all rushed out and I got him to put the launcher down so we could come and help.”

Rumlow looked surprised for the tiniest second. “Go back and wait for my orders at the truck.”

The guy didn’t even hesitate before turning around and walking right back to the vehicles.

“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” Steve said. “I just didn’t want to risk him accidentally setting it off or anything like that.”

“I can’t believe he listened to you,” Rumlow said quietly. “We got what we needed. I’m taking the Asset back with me and the small team. You get everyone back to headquarters for the debriefing with Pierce.”

“Yes, sir,” Steve said.

Rumlow clapped him on the shoulder and then was off. Steve glanced behind him and saw the guy with the mask was staring at him—well; it was hard to tell exactly what he was staring at because he was wearing a mask. His face was turned in Steve’s direction and Steve felt like he was being assessed somehow.

Steve gave him a little salute and then went to gather the team.

* * *

It took seven months before Steve saw any hint of the masked guy again.

Honestly, he hadn’t really given the man much thought after he’d been debriefed. It was one of the benefits of not having a command. He no longer had to sit up for hours, replaying every last moment in his head and figuring out all the things that didn’t work exactly the way he had planned them and why.

Steve was just able to move on and carry on as normal: training new recruits, going for his daily runs, and various missions. Most of the missions Steve worked with his team, but there were a handful of them that he did alone.

One of those solo missions was a reconnaissance assignment that was directly from Alexander Pierce. There was a very important man being held prisoner in Washington D.C. and Steve was tasked with finding out who was keeping him prisoner and where.

The strange thing was that the guy—one Mr. Jasper Sitwell—seemed fine. He wasn’t being held captive anywhere; he was still going to work every day and going back home, alone, to his small apartment.

But Steve wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t something that he needed to discover. So he stayed and kept watch.

Steve was at this assignment for six weeks. He continued to stay in his hotels, switching them up every week because people tended to start asking questions if you stayed in one place for too long.

Steve was sitting in his perch on the roof across from Sitwell’s apartment watching when the guy with the mask appeared out of nowhere next to him.

“Jesus!” Steve hissed. “I didn’t know anyone else was coming.”

The guy just stared at him. His googles were off, but his eyes were painted black in its place. And that weird breathing mask was still on even though he wasn’t using any bombs.

“You the relief team?” Steve asked. “They haven’t told me anything.”

“No.”

“Okay…” Steve had wished that they would have kept him up to date a little bit.

“You can’t be here,” the guy said again, his voice low and rusty. His voice reminded Steve of a rusted hinge that seemed to protest every time it’s used. It sounded strange, almost like his voice was battling a natural monotone with an accent that Steve couldn’t quite place.

“Where am I supposed to be?” Steve asked.

“Not here.”

“Real helpful,” Steve said. “So they sent you in to do something but not tell me. Are you going to kill him?”

The guy shook his head. “Mission objective is to intimidate only.”

“Oh,” Steve said. “That’s why you’re still wearing the mask.”

The guy tiled his head.

“How about this,” Steve suggested. “I’ll stay here; cover your six in case anything should happen. Then you can head back and I can wander around a bit and say that I was taking in the sights since he wasn’t doing anything?”

“But you were here,” the guy said. His voice sounded distressed.

“Right, your report,” Steve said, understanding the guilt that would go along with lying to a superior officer.

“Just tell them that you waited until I left before going in since you were told not to be seen,” Steve suggested. “Can you do that?”

The guy nodded and then turned to leave.

“Wait!” Steve called but it was a second too late because the guy was literally vaulting himself across the roof and down the fire-escape. “What’s your name?”

Steve only watched as the guy disappeared and then suddenly reappeared on Sitwell’s fire escape. The guy had a talent for going undetected. Even Steve hadn’t been able to keep a pinpoint on his location and he was just crossing the nearly empty street.

He was good.

There was a conversation between Sitwell and the guy, though Steve obviously couldn’t hear what was said. But it wasn’t meant for Steve anyway. He just kept his rifle out and his eyes and ears peeled for any sounds or movements.

He’d promised the guy that he’d cover him and Steve wasn’t about to forget that.

The guy was gone just as quickly as he’d got there. Steve saw him climb onto the fire escape and then he was gone.

Steve waited about a half hour longer just in case he wanted to come back to Steve, thank him, tell him what happened, maybe tell him his name. But he didn’t.

Steve just packed up his things and started his walk back to his hotel.

* * *

Steve’s latest mission was a simple Storm the Gates in a sense. The team was supposed to rush the facility. Rumlow had to go in and retrieve or look for something while Steve held the rest of the team down.

He was surprised to see the Masked Guy again since he hadn’t seen him in quite a few months. After the second time seeing him, Steve assumed that he was a sort of freelance agent that SHIELD only used for certain missions. He wasn’t certain because he couldn’t really ask the guy when he wasn’t around, nor could he ask anyone else on his team because no one seemed to ever remember there was another person there.

It was strange, but Steve got it. It wouldn’t look good if any of their missions came out and a government agency used a freelance hitman in them at all.

Steve just gave him a small smile and gave Rumlow and him privacy to chat. Steve couldn’t hear what they were going to say any way.

Rumlow very quickly gave the order and the group rushed forward, Rumlow and Steve and Mask Guy in the lead. As the alarm bells rang, Rumlow quickly fell to the side, allowing a few people to run past him to try and hide where he was going.

Steve was a little too busy trying not to get shot to pay that close attention.

“Jesus!” Cortez shouted from his right. “Intel was wrong on how many were inside.”

“It’s why have training,” Steve shot back and steeled himself to run out there.

Maybe it was fate or some other act of a god, but Steve happened to look up just in time to see Mask Guy about to get shot. It was strange and happening in slow-motion, but Steve was already moving toward him before he really registered what he was doing.

Mask Guy had been near Steve when they’d started and hadn’t strayed too far. But he wasn’t even preparing himself because he was too busy dealing with two other people to notice the third guy closing in, a pistol in his hands.

Steve jumped a millisecond before the gun went off, throwing himself over Mask Guy and taking him down with him. The guy was startled and shocked, but was able to efficiently take out the three people looming on them as Steve gripped the top of his hip.

“Fuck,” he hissed. “You forget how painful bullets are.”

The guy sat up carefully, mindful of Steve’s injury. He passed a gun to Steve as he pulled out a package of gauze and tape from one of the various pockets on his jacket to try and rig up a shitty bandage.

“Thanks,” Steve said when he realized what he was doing.

“Why?” the guy asked.

“Why am I thanking you?” Steve frowned. “Cause you’re helping bandage me up so I can get back out there.”

“No. _Why?”_ the guy’s voice was stressed and scratchy.

“You’re part of the team,” Steve said softly. “And I don’t like my team getting hurt.”

“Shit. Rogers,” Rumlow said rushing forward. “You okay?”

Steve watched Rumlow give the guy a strange look but didn’t comment on it. “Yeah. Just a graze.”

“We’ll have medical stitch you up proper when we get back to the plane,” Rumlow said. He turned his attention to the mask guy. “Finish up here and go back to the van.”

The guy nodded and Rumlow left them alone.

“What’s your name?” Steve asked.

The guy gave him a blank look.

“Your name? What you call yourself?” Steve asked. “I’ve tried asking you the few times we’ve worked together and I never seem to catch it. And since you’ve literally got my blood all over you, you should at least get a personalized thank you.”

The guy was quiet for a while, finishing up Steve’s bandage process.

“Don’t have one,” was the gruff response before he stood up and walked off.

Steve could only watch him go and wonder when the next he might see him again might be.  

* * *

It was supposed to be just another quick extraction. Nothing big, nothing flashy.

Of course that all went to shit because they knew Steve and his team were coming. He didn’t even have a second to question whether or not his team had been betrayed because the enemy unit was on them before they even got to the doors.

Again, Pierce had sent Rumlow ahead to retrieve another asset for them. That meant Steve was left behind to get the team to the location of the bunker.

Steve pulled out his gun and fired it, wishing he had something to hide behind to protect himself. Like a shield that would protect him, at least his head, and gave him enough cover to actually get a shot out.

But that wasn’t exactly a popular or good choice for Steve. He was supposed to be an agent working for a mostly secret government agency. If he were to go running around carrying a shield, it’d be like walking around with a giant target. Not to mention the fact that people would start to take notice.

Steve watched a member of his team get shot in the shoulder. He rushed to her side and passed her his gun as he quickly wrapped up her injury. There was nothing more they could do until they were back on their plane.

“Thanks, Captain,” she her voice strained and teeth clenched. She still managed to get a few shots off though while Steve worked.  

“Anytime.” Steve reached for his gun when she handed it back to him and continued working his way back toward the front.

Steve kept his attention on a man stalking toward him so he didn’t see another enemy until she went down just to his left. She’d been shot, a clean and precise shot directly to her head. Steve only had a second to admire that kind of skill before engaging with his target.  

Steve’s gun was out of bullets so he just threw it to the ground and launched himself at the guy. He was able to knock the guy’s gun out of his hands and grapple him to the ground. Steve wasn’t as proficient in hand-to-hand as he’d like to be. It was mostly because all of his training tended to go out the window as his instincts took over.

Steve struggled with the guy for a few minutes. The guy landed a solid punch to Steve’s jaw and he took a faltering step backward, his vision blurred and legs shaky. He clenched his eyes closed for three seconds and then wrenched them open.

The man was coming at him, assuming Steve was too dazed to see him. Steve wasn’t. Steve was able to anticipate the guy’s move and was able to counter with a strike to his upper chest, incapacitating him. Steve used that time to briefly and brutally knock the man out.

Steve jumped up and started looking for any gun for him to use. There was a shuffling of feet behind him and Steve whirled around to see another enemy approaching him. He didn’t have time to breathe before the other man went down with a single shot to his head.

Steve turned back around and tried to use what information he had to pinpoint the location of his helper—guardian angel if Steve was feeling particularly dramatic.

He could see Rumlow standing next to someone hunched over a sniper rifle. The black pants and longer hair seemed familiar and Steve couldn’t help but smile. He could do nothing more than raise his gun slightly in his direction before turning back to engage the rest of the hostiles.

The rest of the fight Steve felt more comfortable because he had someone looking out for him from the wings.  

* * *

Steve’s life went on as normal for the next two years:  he went on recon missions, helped run extraction missions, and continued to refuse Rumlow’s suggestions for advancement.

Steve was happy where he was. For the most part.

He was getting a little lonely, but it was incredibly difficult to have any sorts of relationships when you’re constantly going off somewhere. The friends he does have are other SHIELD agents—though they’re not the type of friends he’d ever call in a crisis.

Then again, Steve rarely got into any situation he couldn’t get himself out of.

But his life was the same. He’d get up, go for a run, head into work, come home and watch TV or read until he fell asleep. It wasn’t monotonous, not really, because he was always on some sort of mission. Not to mention, he’d been inspired by the Masked Guy to improve his shooting skills.

In the last two years, Pierce had Steve leading the training of the new recruits. It was strange to start without Rumlow’s presence, but Steve had figured it out eventually. It’s strange and definitely interesting and it also gave Steve the time to really practice and improve his hand-to-hand and remaining calm under attack. But this position, the training just wasn’t what he wanted to do or what he thought he was best at. He was best out in the field, working missions.  

Steve’s life was completely the same, almost ordinary, until the next time he worked with the Mask Guy.

Steve had decided that he was definitely a freelance guy—it’s why he hadn’t given Steve a name or any real information about himself. And why he wore a mask. He probably couldn’t risk having his identity known to a bunch of people he doesn’t trust.

It was why Rumlow was always the one that was with him. Rumlow was practically Pierce’s eyes, ears, and hands out in the field.

Steve gave the guy a small smile and quick nod of the head before turning to answer a question for someone else.

“All right,” Rumlow said, in his Commander voice. “We’re going to split up into three teams, each team having their own priorities.

“I’m the leader of Alpha. Jakes, Cortez, and Hannogan with me. We’re going to go around to the back to find what we’re looking for. Our objective is to retrieve the package.

“Faulker, Ronston, and Hunter, you’re team Bravo. Your job is to man this area and be ready to go when we get back.

“That leaves everyone else on Charlie. Rogers is lead,” Rumlow nodded to Steve.

Steve crossed his arms.

“You have the hardest job, keeping all the hostiles’ attentions up front. They’re going to assume that you all are the only attack and it’s your job to keep it that way. There shouldn’t be too many people—There’s no chance of us being outnumbered. But we don’t have great intel on their militia prowess.”

Rumlow looked around at everyone, carefully cataloguing that everyone was in the right state of mind.

“All right,” Rumlow said. “Every to their stations or Captains.”

Steve led his group off to the side, knowing that they needed to wait until Rumlow’s team was at least partially in position. He glanced behind him and saw Rumlow talking to the Mask Guy again. It looked intense, but not an argument since the Mask Guy wasn’t really saying much of anything back.

“All right folks,” Steve said, feeling unsure of where to put his hands all of a sudden. “You all know the drill. Just like how we practice, right?”

“Except real bullets,” some young kid name Jaimie said with half-a-chuckle.

Steve couldn’t fault them because you had to take comfort in whatever way you could. “I could always suggest using the real thing in training,” Steve teased.  

“That’s all right sir,” was the immediate response. At least Steve _thought_ it was clear that he was joking around.

“I’m only kidding,” Steve said, putting them all back at ease.

Suddenly the Mask Guy was right beside Steve, standing just behind his left shoulder.

Steve turned to face him. “You stuck on our team?”

The guy gave one curt nod.

“Great,” Steve said, trying to fill the awkward silence. “I know you’re one hell of a shot and got an arm on you like I’ve never seen. Good to have you…”

The guy didn’t pick up on Steve’s hint offer up his name. He just stayed silent and stoic, waiting for Steve’s command.

“I’m sure Rumlow told you that I’m Rogers before he sent you over here,” Steve said. “But you can call me Steve.”

Still nothing.

“Right,” Steve said. “The secrecy thing. Can you at least give me something you’d like me to call you? I’d hate having to yell ‘guy with a mask’ over the comms.”

“I am supposed to be right beside you,” the guy responded instead of answering.

 _“Rogers, get team Charlie in position. Go on my signal.”_ Rumlow’s voice crackled over the comm in his ear.

“Team, be prepared to move,” Steve said, turning to forget the conversation. If the guy didn’t want to share, it wasn’t Steve’s place to force him.

 _“Alpha’s in position. On my count. Three…Two…One. Go,”_ Rumlow hissed and Steve gave the signal to his team.

Things happened very quickly after that. Bullets flying and people running. It was chaos, but it was the chaos that Steve lived for. He loved it.

“Go help them,” Steve said to the Mask Guy and pointed to a couple of his people who were beginning to struggle.

The guy went off without a thought.

Steve got lost in the shuffle and chaos of the fight. His ears were ringing from the constant gunshots. It was hard to keep track of everyone on his team and he knew that he had to remain focused on the task at hand. If he started getting caught up in what might be happening elsewhere, he’d end up in more trouble.

“Ugh,” Steve grunted as someone jammed into his back. He dropped his gun because of the hit. Steve turned, his arms raised in defense. Steve wasn’t untrained in hand to hand; in fact he learned to prefer  it to guns and weaponry if he was honest. But this fight, this man, was making it challenging for Steve who was still struggling to keep his training in his mind while he fought.

The guy was about to land a perfect hit to Steve’s face and Steve prepared for it, squeezing his eyes shut.

Nothing happened.

Steve opened his eyes to see Mask Guy standing in front of him, Steve’s former opponent on the ground a few feet away.

“Thanks, man,” Steve said, checking himself over for any injuries he might not be aware of. There was a small part of Steve that wanted to protest, that he had had the man on the ropes and was handling it fine; but the more logical part of him won out and he settled for grasping the guy’s shoulder in thanks.

“You do okay out there?” Steve asked as he looked around, seeing his team finishing up and Rumlow’s team running out of the base.

Mask Guy grunted and gave a nod, his gun positioned and his stance ready.

“We better head back to the extraction point.” Steve grabbed his gun and jerked his head. He wished he was surprised when the guy fell into step a half a step behind him, but he wasn’t.

Steve also wished he knew what to do with that information.

* * *

 

Steve stood in the hall outside Alexander Pierce’s room and felt awkward. He didn’t know why he had been called up here, but he didn’t like it.

The last operation had been over for almost two weeks. If there was any disciplinary action, Steve would have already heard about it.

It wasn’t a new mission either; Pierce had contacted Steve directly. Normally Rumlow was the one to give his team a heads up that a new mission was coming their way.

“Captain Rogers,” Pierce said as he opened his office door. “Come in.”

Steve nodded to him and walked inside. He just stood before Pierce’s desk, his hands clasped behind his back.

“Do you know where you’re here?” Pierce asked.

“No, sir.”

“It has to do with your last opp,” Pierce said. “Agent Rumlow told me about it and I’ve been doing some thinking.”

Steve stayed quiet.

“You worked very well with the Asset,” Pierce said. “He recognized you and followed your commands even though you hadn’t been trained how to control him. He even went directly to you without you having to command him.”

Steve frowned.

“Do you know that he has only done that for two other people?” Pierce asked. “Zola, the creator of him, and myself. That means you have a rare gift. A gift that we cannot afford to ignore any longer.”

“Sir?” Steve asked.

“I’m getting ahead of myself,” Pierce said with a smile. He sat behind his desk and held up a little glass bowl. “Candied almond?”

“No, thank you,” Steve said, suddenly feeling small and unsure under Pierce’s gaze. It was like he was looking at a child that had amused him. It made him feel young and untrained; Pierce’s looks often did.  

“These little candies are weirdly addicting,” Pierce said. “You have no idea what exactly the Asset is, correct?”

Steve nodded.

“The Asset is our secret weapon,” Pierce explained. “It’s how we’re able to do so much so quickly. We have trained and created this weapon to use at our disposal whenever we need it.

“You can imagine how long training like that would have taken. It took years under Dr. Zola’s careful experimentation to discover the true nature and be able to override it. A process that we have been careful to uphold for the past seventy years. It is vital that only a select few people know the true nature of this project.”

“What project is that, sir?” Steve asked.

“The Winter Soldier,” Pierce said.

Steve felt his stomach lurch at the way things had quickly turned.

“The Winter Solider is our most powerful Asset. It needs a lot of looking after. Obviously that means we need a handler that can keep him subordinate.” Pierce hesitated for a breath, eyeing Steve carefully. “We think that person is you.”

Steve stayed quiet.

“I can tell you that it took me years to form that bond with the Asset,” Pierce said. “And I struggled to force him into line. I had to adapt myself and my demeanor around him so he would listen correctly. Sometimes that’s what has to happen.

“But you, Rogers. You already have that bond,” Pierce said. “He followed your lead and command easily. He even willingly protected you without you having given him a direct order.

“That’s the issue with having such a volatile weapon. It is useful and dangerous, but you have to be very clear in your instructions and commands. You always need to make sure you use the proper terms and commands otherwise the Asset won’t know what to do.”

Pierce smiled at Steve but it wasn’t reassuring. It was the smile of predator. “But I can only imagine what will happen when you’re the handler. You two will be unstoppable.”

Steve clenched his jaw. “What do you want me to do?”

“Learn to handle it, of course,” Pierce said. “I need to know that it will work. Obviously you’re going to need to learn the regular training first, just in case the connection you have with the Asset isn’t as strong as Rumlow is letting on.

“Then it will be the simple step of having you actually begin to train with the Asset. You’ll train him to follow your commands and take him on select missions with you.

“Normally we don’t use him for so many missions back-to-back, but what we’re working on is important. And we need to have our best team in place. That’s the Asset and, if my assumptions are correct, _you_.”

“Whatever you need from me,” Steve said hoping that it was the answer Pierce was looking for. Nothing about this program sounded like something good to Steve, but he couldn’t say that to his commander.  

“Tomorrow morning will start the beginning of your induction into the Winter Soldier Program,” Pierce said. “You will receive information vital to the survival and workings of the Asset. You will be included in every op—from start to finish—right alongside Rumlow and the Asset.

“Rumlow and I will still be in charge of the Asset, but it’s important that you understand what it is you’re up against.” Pierce smiled.

“After that, things get more hectic for you. The next months will be a brutal schedule for you. That’s when you truly begin your handler training. You will be required to train physically and psychologically with the Asset’s team every morning until 1 pm. Then you will go with your own team until Rumlow dismisses you.

“You will still be expected to go on missions with your team, though always having a mind on how you would have used the Asset if you’d had him. It’s important to think through every command thoroughly. The Asset is basically a wooden doll otherwise. A deadly one, but if you’re not there to aim or pull the trigger, he just sits there.”

Steve nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“See you at 0700, Captain,” Pierce said.

“Thank you, Sir,” Steve said.

“Oh, and Captain?” Pierce said, halting Steve with his hand on the door handle.

“Sir?”

“I trust you’ll keep this between us,” Pierce said. “The Asset isn’t something we like to advertise. There’s a very small group of people involved and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Understood.” Steve nodded and left Pierce’s office, wishing he didn’t feel as sick as he felt he did. The thought that this was a secret mission that Pierce didn’t want advertised only made the questioning feeling and dread settle more firmly in his stomach.

* * *

The next morning, at 0700 hours, Steve Rogers walked back into Pierce’s office. This time Rumlow was also there, sitting in the other chair in front of Pierce’s desk.

“Good morning, Captain Rogers,” Pierce said, setting a black folder on the desk in front of him. “Did you sleep well?”

“I slept fine, thanks,” Steve said. He hated when Pierce talked like him and Steve were friends. It felt threatening in a way that he didn’t like.

“Have a seat, Captain,” Pierce said and gestured to vacant chair. “I was just catching Agent Rumlow up to speed.”

Steve nodded and took a seat.

“Here is the information on the Asset.” Pierce tapped the black folder.

Steve nodded and reached for it.

“This must be kept in absolute secret,” Pierce told him. “You will be given 24 hours to read through it as many times as you’d like before returning it back to my office.”

Steve nodded and grabbed the folder. He slid it into his gym bag, burying it under the extra set of clothing.

“Tomorrow you will meet the Asset,” Pierce said. “And the scientists to answer any questions you may have.”

Steve kept his gaze focused straight ahead, though every part of his being was screaming out to read the file.

“Dismissed then, Captain,” Pierce said.

Steve inclined his head and stood up to take his leave.

As much as he wanted to rush back to his home, he still had a full day of work ahead of him. The file would just have to wait.

* * *

After a long afternoon, Steve was finally able to walk out of headquarters. The file was still burning a hole in his pocket, or rather his bag. And the fact that he had just over thirteen hours to read it thoroughly and fully before returning it was constantly on his mind.

That thought was what caused him to pop into an office supply store to make copies quickly and discreetly on his way home. He wanted to have his own copies in case he needed them later.

Steve declined the offer of assistance from the store clerk and made his copies. He even picked up a few legal pads, pens, and sharpies just to cover his tracks as to why he stopped here.

Steve walked the rest of the way back to his small apartment trying not to feel too guilty about the fact he knowingly copied classified documents.

That guilt lasted until halfway through the first page of the documents in that folder.

First of all, the term _information_ was practically laughable. There really wasn’t any relevant information included in the folder. No name. No date of birth. No medical history. No comments on allergies, favorite foods, or medications list.

It was barely even a file. It’s just a bunch of papers with the bare minimum on them.

_Codename: Winter Soldier (alias Зимний Солдат; Sergeant JB)_

_Project taken over from the Russians to American-Operated after WWII._

_Dr. Arnim Zola creator of Project Winter Soldier, Enhanced-Being Serum. Original programming and subsequent later reprograming when re-taken by America._

The first page held only a list of stats detailing the soldiers’ height, weight, and physical description. There were a few added notes for when he lost weight or gained more muscle, but they tend to try and keep him right around 190, give or take.

The next page was a list of enhanced abilities that went along with the serum that Zola gave him. Though it didn’t say when that happened. Basically the guy is a super human. He’s got an insane level of eyesight and hearing, his healing is increased drastically, and he rarely gets sick.

If he gets cut, the skin will just heal itself. Depending on the size and depth, a scar may be visible, but no other signs of damage will remain after one week.

 _Jesus_ , Steve thought as his stomach muscles tightened. There was a lot of exact numbers and timing and it made Steve wonder just how intensely they figured them out.

The second to last page in the file—there was seriously only five pages in it—was a list of all the people who have been involved in the Winter Solider project. There were handlers, Pierce and Rumlow’s name included in that last with other six other people, scientists, psychologists, doctors, surgeons, and other miscellaneous people involved on the teams.

It was surprising to see that none of the other people on his strike team were listed. They probably hadn’t been given any more information on the Soldier than Steve had been and came to their own conclusions.

It’s a genius plan, especially when working for a secret government agency.

The final page listed the process for caring for the Winter Soldier.

The soldier was kept in a cryogenic tank and frozen when he wasn’t out on missions. Apparently it was because they feared his programming might not hold out when his brain was constantly working to repair itself.

They’d have to take him out of cryo very carefully and monitor him. It seemed to be very similar to what Steve had been imagining:  they put him in a pool of ice cold water once they had removed him from the cryo area and gradually increase the temperature until he physically comes back to life. Sometimes they have to shock his heart or his brain to refocus. In the last decade or so, they had been experimenting with what helps his thawing process because the shocking had been happening less and less frequently.

Then it’s onto the examination stage, checking for muscle atrophy, any injuries or physical abnormalities. After that it’s onto his organ systems and making sure they are all in working order.

Then it comes the psychological testing to make sure that the Soldier still remembers who and where his is. If that all goes well, they tell him of the next mission and give him the operation parameters. If it doesn’t, they then take him to the reconditioning center where he has to undergone all the psychological re-learning again.

It sounded entirely too similar to brain-washing for Steve’s liking. The knot in Steve’s stomach tightened.

The Soldier was normally brought out 24 hours before mission departure, giving them ample time to unfreeze, prep, and re-calibrate if need be, without overly stretching his time out of the frozen state.

At the end of the mission, his stomach would be pumped of any remaining substance and then placed back into cryo freeze to await his next mission.

That was all they had on the guy. They used him and treated him like a weapon.

It had sounded that way when Pierce had talked about him, but it was somehow worse seeing it written down.

Steve was suddenly very, very worried about what tomorrow might bring.

* * *

Steve followed Pierce and Rumlow as ready as he was going to get.

Steve had spent the entire commute to work trying to prepare himself for the day ahead. He knew that he had to lock his feelings down because Pierce would not accept it if he was unable to handle his new assignment.

He could do this. He was a soldier. He knew how to follow orders.

Besides, it might not even be that bad. Perhaps Steve was overly concerned for no reason.

Steve had delivered the file to Pierce’s office, grateful that he’d thought to make a copy. There was something in his gut telling him that he might need it in the future.

Pierce had smiled at him and asked if he’d enjoyed his homework.

“Very informative, sir,” Steve had replied. He left it at that.

Pierce hadn’t said anything more about it either. He just told him that they would be leaving shortly.

Apparently, the Soldier wasn’t even housed within the facility. It made sense, Steve supposed. There’d be no real way to monitor who had contact with him and knew about him if he was kept in a building that was quite literally swarming with people.

The place Pierce did end up taking them to was outside of DC by about a half hour. Steve missed the name of the city, but it didn’t matter.

He’d catch it on the next drive in, he assumed.

They pulled up outside an old fashioned looking bank that had a _Closed for Remodeling_ sign out front. Pierce paid it no attention as he walked to the back of the building and opened the door using a code, a key, and his own fingerprint.

Pierce held the door open for both Steve and Rumlow to get inside before locking it back behind them. Their driver had been told to drive around the city to wait for Pierce’s call. It was going to be just the three of them.

Well, the three of them and anyone else already here.

The walked up to an elevator that was patiently waiting on their floor. Again, Pierce pressed and held his thumb against the call button for a few seconds and Steve caught the green light working underneath.

Another fingerprint scanner.

Steve understood why when the car lurched down instead of up.

It was eerily quiet in the elevator ride down. Rumlow was clearly preparing for his own day. Steve was trying to lock down any emotion he might be feeling. Pierce was studying Steve with a hawk’s ability. Steve didn’t let it bother him; he’d had worse in the Army.

The elevator dinged without any indication where they were or how far beneath the ground they were. Steve figured it wasn’t his place to ask.

“Captain Rogers,” Pierce said as they walked through a locked and coded door. “Meet the Asset.”

Steve glanced up and clenched his jaw. There was an old fashioned bank vault that had been opened to reveal a metal casket with a small window in it. Steve could just barely make out a face through the frosted glass.

“I wanted to you to be present for the reanimation process,” Pierce said. “I think it’s important to know what goes into maintaining your weapons. And to see how Rumlow and I deal with the difficulties that may arise.”

“Difficulties?” Steve asked.

“Well, the Asset has a serum that was similar to the Super Soldier serum created back in World War II,” Pierce said. “But that doesn’t mean there are no long-term effects or issues that might arise with the cryo-freezing.

“Everything is a delicate balance,” Pierce continued. “If we unfreeze too quickly, the motor skills are not as reflexive as we’d like. If we take too long, the Asset gets agitated and we’ll have to knock him out to complete the task. Sometimes those effects linger and he’s unresponsive or he tries to fight his way out.

“Normally that problem is taken care of with a memory wipe. That normally fixes any abnormalities and puts him back on square one.”

“Hmm,” Steve said. What else was he supposed to say? This was entirely out of his element. He had no idea how this was even supposed to be working. He wasn’t even sure if he was really supposed to be here.

“This way, Captain,” Pierce said, gesturing to a door with a large viewing window. “We’ll have to stay out of the doctors’ way until things are set up.”

“What’s the process involving this?” Steve asked as Rumlow closed the door behind them. He couldn’t help but glance out and watch the workers, which he hadn’t noticed before, scurry around.

“Frankly, it’s a little complex. But the general idea is that they have to thaw him, in a sense.” Pierce gave a strange laugh as though the idea excited him.

“How do they do it? Big tub of warm liquid?” Steve asked.

“I suppose that might work, but unfortunately, that isn’t a viable option for someone who could become violent very quickly.” Pierce sighed and pressed his hand on the glass as a group of workers worked on opening the metal box.

 _It’s fucking freezer,_ Steve couldn’t help but think. _They stuffed a guy in a fucking freezer._

“They have to warm up the inside of the tank he’s kept in just enough that he starts to wake up,” Pierce explained. “Then they have to move him to the chair where they hook him up to the machines and various medicines that monitor his conditions.”

“Wow,” Steve said flatly. It was hard to appreciate science when they were literally experimenting on a human, regardless of whether or not he now had some sort of non-human serum. Not to mention it wasn’t exactly what he had read the night before; apparently the file they had on the Solider was in need of an update.

There was a muffled shout and the door to the tank opened. Two people rushed forward to grab the man and start hauling him into the chair. The man was naked, probably not really even breathing yet, but they still strapped him in as though he was raging and uncooperative.

Metal clamps around his arms and legs, even two across his torso.

Unsurprisingly, the guy started freaking out as soon as he was breathing normally.

 _Who wouldn’t?_ Steve thought. _You wake up, probably in a shit-ton of pain, disoriented and strapped to a chair. With a bunch of needles and monitors around._

“Can we go down there?” Steve asked.

Pierce smiled at him like they were in on a secret together. “A man after my own heart.”

Pierce walked out the door, Rumlow right behind him. Steve followed a few steps behind.

“Report,” Pierce said his tone brisk.

The Soldier’s eyes were frantic as they jittered around looking for Pierce. “No mission parameters.”

His voice was gravelly and rough, like it hadn’t been used in years. It was strange because Steve had just seen him a few weeks ago, so there was no way that his voice should sound so rough again. Unless it was how his voice naturally was.  

Steve felt himself suck in a breath. They still hadn’t even covered him. They’d given him nothing.

The Soldier’s eyes flashed to Steve’s before he quickly looked away.

“Status?” Pierce asked.

“Functionality diminished.”

Pierce nodded and the Soldier seemed to deflate, but no one else seemed to notice it. Steve took a small step toward the Soldier. Again, his eyes flashed to Steve’s, but they didn’t jerk away this time.

“You remember Captain Rogers?” Pierce asked, surprise in his voice.

“Yes.” The Soldier’s eyes moved to stare directly beyond Pierce’s shoulder.

“Interesting,” Pierce said softly. “This might work out even better than we were hoping.”

“Yes, sir,” Rumlow said, a grin on his face.

Steve stood motionless. He watched as the scientists—he refused to think of them as doctor’s—ran around, trying to monitor everything. Once they deemed the Soldier thawed enough, Pierce gave the command to get him cleaned up.

“I want to go with,” Steve said as they started leading the Solder away, a group of armed men poised to shoot.

“Why?” Pierce asked.

“You told me to learn everything there is to know,” Steve said. “This feels like something I should understand.”

“Very well,” Pierce told him, something like pride on his face.

“Thank you, sir,” Steve said. He turned back to face the Soldier who was eyeing him carefully. Steve gave him a small, reassuring smile, but he got no response.

The Soldier kept his eyes trained on Steve as much as he was able to on the walk to the cleaning facility.

Steve kept pace with the team leading the Soldier to the next room. There were three specialists and five different people carrying guns, all drawn and ready to shoot should the Soldier give them any reason to. Again Steve thought of the file he’d gotten on the Soldier and knew that Pierce had apparently increased the number of people involved in the operation.

The Soldier though, he wasn’t giving off anything. No more hints of recognition. No emotion whatsoever. It was as though he had no thoughts at all.

It made Steve sick to think about the fact that they must have wiped out his entire _humanity_ and claimed it as some great scientific reward.

Steve wasn’t about to do that. He was going to be there for the guy, in whatever way he could. It wasn’t right, what they were doing to him.

Steve just followed silently, knowing that he’d have to bide his time.

None of the people, including the Soldier, gave him much notice as they shut the door after they all walked into the room. There was a large drain and the Soldier went to stand over it. Steve heard the clank of the bolt being slotted into place.

One technician grabbed a large firehouse and turned it on, aiming directly at the Soldier’s chest.

“Cleaning the residual anti-freeze off the Asset,” the technician closest to Steve murmured. “It’s impossible to get accurate readings with that on.”

“Why not just let him take his own shower?” Steve asked.

“Too risky,” she replied. “Might get agitated if we leave it alone for too long.”

“Do you do everything for him?” Steve asked.

“Most things,” she said. “This is phase one. Phase two is another reading of its vitals and testing its mobility. Phase three is substance implantation. Phase four is clean-up and prepping for duty.”

Steve didn’t say anything. He could only watch as the Soldier clenched his eyes shut against the torrent of water hitting him.

“Phase one complete,” the technician with the hose said to the woman standing next to Steve. “Ready for Phase two.”

“Begin Phase two,” the woman said, her voice quiet.

The led the Soldier over to a chair that he seemed reluctant to sit in, but no one else seemed to pick up on the split-second hesitation.

Technicians fluttered about, moving machines to the guy and writing things down on their clipboards. It struck Steve as odd that they weren’t using any fancy technology to record their findings.

“Won’t get hacked this way,” the woman explained. “All those devices can be infiltrated. But this, this is just a paper trail. A paper trail that no one knows exists and won’t go looking for.”

“You keep only one copy then?” Steve asked.

The woman nodded. “In a fire-proof and bomb-proof safe under the floor in my office. Only those who deal directly with the Asset—You, Pierce, Rumlow. You know, handlers. They are the only ones who know where the files go. It’s part of your training to retrieve them should anything happen to me or the organization.”

Steve nodded. “Good to know.”

“The Asset is fully trained in that contingency plan,” she said. “But it is absolutely vital that it never read the notes.”

“Why not?” Steve asked.

“Could cause disturbance for it,” she said. “Be a lot harder to get it compliant if it knows what we’re going to be doing.”

Steve nodded.

“Phase Two Complete,” a technician said.

Steve and the woman walked closer.

“Report?” she asked. The Soldier’s jaw clenched and he kept his eyes trained forward.

“All faculties working at an above average rate,” the technician recited.

“Mobility?”

“Full range of motion.”

The woman nodded. “Move onto Phase Three.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Steve watched as they hooked up numerous IVs to the Soldier. The Soldier didn’t even acknowledge anything. He just stared straight ahead, his eyes blank. Steve couldn’t help but wonder if he’d trained himself that way. If he wasn’t actually as emotionless as they believed him to be, but rather had just learned to hide everything.

Steve watched the woman give him an apologetic smile before walking away to her team. They conferred in hushed voices that Steve couldn’t hear. He didn’t care to. This wasn’t something he’d understand or be able to contribute to.

The Soldier’s eyes snapped to his as soon as the woman walked away from him. Steve held his gaze, his eyes softening in what he hoped was a nonthreatening manner. He could only assume that the Soldier hadn’t seen very much kindness in his years.

Steve hoped that he could change that.

* * *

“I trust you enjoyed your time?” Pierce asked Steve when he joined the group a while later.

“Yes, sir.” Steve had been listening to the technicians ramble on about the faculties of the Soldier. Phase Four hadn’t started yet; they had been waiting for Pierce. He was the one who knew the details.

Pierce smiled sourly at him and turned to look upon the Soldier, still sitting docilely in that chair. He hadn’t looked back at Steve since that moment of eye contact at the beginning of Phase Three.

“You have a new mission,” Pierce told him.

The Soldier nodded and turned his chin up toward Pierce.

“It is a recon mission,” Pierce said. “Only you, Agent Rumlow, and Captain Rogers.”

Another nod.

Pierce turned toward Rumlow. “Rumlow, you will be in charge of finding the hostage…if they’re even alive.”

Rumlow nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“Captain Rogers, you need to access the data storage in the base.” He passed Steve a flash drive. “You’ll need to transfer everything onto this drive before you leave. This is a terrorist cell that we need to shut down before it gains any more notice and traction.”

Pierce turned toward the Soldier. “You will follow the orders of your handlers.”

The Soldier glanced at Rumlow.

“Captain Rogers is also in training to become one,” Pierce explained. “Rumlow will take point. Your mission it to provide back-up where needed. And then destroy any trace.”

The Soldier nodded.

“You have,” Pierced checked his wrist-watch. “48 hours to complete the mission and report back to me.”

“Understood,” Rumlow said. “Suit up, Rogers. We’ve got a busy two days.”

Steve nodded and followed Rumlow to the armored truck they were going to be taking. It had apparently already been stocked with what they’d need for this mission. Steve grabbed his Kevlar vest to pull on over his clothes.

“You’ll need to sit in the back with the Asset,” Rumlow told him, pulling on his own vest. “I’ll need to drive.”

“All right.”

“He’ll be bolted in,” Rumlow told him. “No chance he’d be able to do anything to you.”

Steve only nodded. The Soldier was being led out again, the guns still drawn on him though he didn’t acknowledge them at all. He just walked right up to the back of the truck and sat down, the clamps immediately locking him in place.

Steve’s mouth went dry.

“I trust you understand your orders,” Pierce said quietly from the side.

“Yes, sir.”

“I want to see if he’ll listen to you over Rumlow,” he told him. “I told Rumlow to tell him to kill sight-on-seen and to be his back-up. Your test for today is to get him to follow you instead.”

“We should only be shooting at people who fire at us first.”

“If we all did that, where would Han Solo be?” Pierce asked, raising an eyebrow.

“What?” Steve asked.

“From _Star Wars?”_ Pierce shook his head, smiling slightly. “I wonder what you do with your spare time since you seem to have no knowledge of any of the media from the past thirty years. There’s a famous scene in that _Star Wars_ film where the smuggler Han Solo shoots someone threatening him before they could shoot him.

“I’m using that as an example to say that sometimes you need to play offensively in order to win defensively,” Pierce said. Steve had a fleeing thought of whether or not Pierce was a man who watched sports or not.

“It’s noble that you wish to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, Captain, but it’s just not feasible. If you give these people a second, they will kill you without hesitation.” Pierce frowned. “I’d hate to lose one of the best agents we have ever had due to a moment of naivety.”

“Understood,” Steve said.

“Good.” Pierce patted him on the shoulder and Steve tried not to stiffen under the touch.

“Rumlow, a word.” Pierce turned toward where Rumlow was going over maps and papers with one of the other people.

Steve just sighed and pulled himself into the truck, taking a seat across from the Soldier. He didn’t even look up at him.

A few minutes of tense silence later, Steve and the Soldier were being shut into the back. Rumlow jumped into the front seat. He banged on the metal patrician between them and Steve knocked back twice. _All good._

Steve heard the engine start and turned to the Soldier.

“I’m not sure we’ve been properly introduced,” he said quietly. “I’m Steve Rogers. We’re hopefully going to be working together in the future.”

The Soldier lazily turned his gaze on him. Steve tried not to fidget or show his nerves.

“Do you…have a name I can call you?” Steve asked.

“No.”

“Okay. Well, right now I’m just calling you the Soldier in my head. Is that all right?” Steve asked.

The Soldier frowned at that but nodded after a short deliberation. His eyes didn’t waver from Steve’s.

Steve wanted to say something more, literally anything but his mind was entirely blank. What was he supposed to talk about to a man who’d been wiped of all his humanity?

“How are you feeling?” Steve asked after a few silent minutes.

“Optimal physicality.”

“No,” Steve said. “Though that’s good. I just meant. Do they do that to you every time?”

The Soldier tilted his head.

“The electricity chair thing?” Steve asked quietly.

The Soldier’s breath caught and he froze.

“It just. It looked painful is all,” Steve said, his eyes turning to the ground. “Just wanted to make sure you were all right after that.”

The Soldier’s breathing remained paused.

“I doubt you’d tell me even if you weren’t all right,” Steve said with a small smile, trying to fill in the silence. “But I’d listen. I don’t want you to be in any pain.”

“Pain drives focus,” the Soldier said his words halting and slow.

“It can,” Steve agreed. “When you have to work through it to survive. But it shouldn’t be a normal way to experience life.”

The Soldier’s expression blanked. “I have helped shape the last century. My work is invaluable. Pain means nothing to me.”

Steve frowned because none of those words made sense. How far from humanity had they forced this man that he couldn’t imagine a life without pain and torment? How long did they torture him in order to get him to move past the pain?

“It’s okay if it does,” Steve whispered. He couldn’t think of anything else to say and just left it at that.

They arrived at their location in silence since neither Steve nor the Soldier made any more attempts at conversation. Steve tried to keep himself from glancing at the Soldier but his eyes always found their way to his form. The Soldier never looked away from Steve.

Steve nearly let out a breath of relief when he felt the van slowing down. The engine stopped and Rumlow unlocked the hatch, smiling over at Steve.

“Enjoy the ride?” he asked, pressing the mechanism to unlock the Soldier’s restraints.

“Uneventful,” Steve said.

“Yeah,” Rumlow agreed. “The Asset doesn’t speak much. Only Russian.”

Steve kept his face blank. “That’s why I’ve been asked to learn Russian?”

“Yeah,” Rumlow said, watching the Soldier and Steve pile out of the van. “It’s the main way he communicates. Pierce is the only one that he speaks English to. I think it has to do with the way they trained together. He’s never responded to me in anything other than Russain.”

Steve nodded and felt the Soldier’s eyes on him again. He didn’t turn around. “His file said he was in Russian control for a while.”

Rumlow nodded. “Yeah. Quite a few years before Zola got him back. But Russian must be like his factory setting or something.”

Rumlow laughed and Steve knew he had to go along with it. Steve smiled but it felt less like a grin and more like his face had been cracked and stretched in two. Rumlow apparently didn’t notice because he didn’t comment on it.

Steve loaded up his tact gear and watched as the Soldier methodically placed weapons all about his person. He had throwing knives connected to his belt. Two guns on each hip. Three daggers strategically placed in hidden pockets of his uniform. He even had a short, old-fashioned stiletto knife tucked into his boot. A few grenades and smoke bombs tucked into the pockets of his utility belt. Not to mention the gun holstered to the back of his upper back, right over his shoulders.

“Mask,” Rumlow said briskly and the Soldier obediently pulled on his mask. The one that covered his mouth.

 _It’s a fucking muzzle_ , Steve thought angrily. He felt sick that he had originally thought it was a sort of cool and badass way to keep people from really seeing his face.

The Soldier pulled on the goggles, obscuring the rest of his face.

Steve felt like a fucking idiot, not noticing that this wasn’t a mask of anonymity; it was another way for them to control him. And the hardest thing for Steve to stomach was that he clearly had no idea.

The Soldier was docile in everything. He’d just sat back and opened his mouth, waiting for the electricity after he’d gotten out of cryo. He really was the most perfect weapon.

Steve had to take a deep breath because he was either going to shoot Pierce or throw up. Neither of those options was acceptable at this moment. He had a mission to finish here. And then another one, a longer one, to finish back home.

He was going to become the Soldier’s handler if it killed him. He was not about to let this man be surrounded by people who didn’t give a shit about him anymore.

And once he had Pierce’s trust, Steve was going to free the Soldier.

* * *

“You running to or away?”

Steve braced his hands on his knees and turned toward the voice. A man was sitting under the tree, grinning at him. He had dark skin and smile like the cat that just ate the canary. Steve couldn’t decide if he was mocking him or just genuinely a happy person.

“Just saying, running that fast means you gotta be running away from something or toward something,” the man continued.

“Not sure yet,” Steve admitted after a little while. “But I’ll let you know when I figure that out.”

The guy held up his hands. “I get it, man. When I first got back it was hell trying to sort out what I was feeling.”

“You were overseas?” Steve asked.

“Sam Wilson of the Air Force. Para-rescue division,” Sam said to him as he pulled himself up. He was tall, only a few inches shorter than Steve, and still in really good shape. His hair was cropped short, reminding Steve of the military style.

“Captain Steve Rogers,” Steve said, holding out a hand.

“No shit?” Sam said shaking his hand. “We all heard about your one man rescue. Can’t believe you did that.”

Steve shrugged. “It wasn’t right that the leaders refused to go in for the rescue because they were waiting for more solid intel. They knew where the enemy base was and had more than enough soldiers to attack. They chose not to.

“I just made a different choice,” Steve said quietly. It still made him uncomfortable that people knew about his act of mutiny. Technically it was more AWOL than mutiny, but the gist remains: he acted in direct opposition to his orders. He fully expected to get dishonorably discharged and court martialed after that. Instead he was pinned with the Legion of Merit medal and quickly followed by the Medal of Honor due to his heroic and brave solo rescue of the unit captured.

Not to mention his very swift promotion to Captain. It was very nearly unprecedented and Steve had tried to argue that he didn’t need or deserve Captaincy yet. But his Commanding Officers refused to listen to him and he was promoted. The fact that there were about 250 people—the people Steve had rescued—who had refused to listen to anyone but him might have helped his case as well.

“Yeah,” Sam agreed. “How long you been back?”

Steve shrugged. “Bout seven years now. Still trying to figure it all out. Was over there off and on for about ten years.”

Sam nodded. “It’s a difficult adjustment for any of us to make. I work down at the VA and a lot of people feel the same way.”

“You’re a therapist?” Steve asked, slightly uncomfortable.

“More like a counselor,” Sam said. “It’s been proven helpful for many soldiers returning to civilian life.”

Steve swallowed. “Not sure therapy’s the way to go for me.”

“I’m not saying you have to,” Sam said. “Just saying that it’s not uncommon for soldiers to struggle when readjusting to civilian life.”

 _Soldier_? Steve hadn’t been a proper soldier in at least seven years. He wasn’t having a hard time adjusting; he was having a hard time thinking of the man being locked up in a small dark room until they needed him again.

Steve cleared his throat. “So. A counselor, huh?”

Sam nodded. “Got my masters in Psychology while I was in the Air Force. Figured I’d want to be able to help my people when I no longer fought by their side.”

Steve opened his mouth. Then closed it. What was he supposed to say? _I know this guy who’s been dehumanized and I want to make sure he knows that I’m not going to hurt him and that I just want to help him._ It sounded ridiculous to Steve’s own mind.

Sam didn’t seem bothered. “If you do every want to talk, I’m there every day.”

Steve nodded. “Okay. Thanks. It was nice to meet you.”

“You too,” Sam said, giving him a little wave as Steve started walking away.

“Hey Steve?” Sam called out. “You might want to try a firmer mattress. It helps with the impossible sleep.”

Steve couldn’t help but smile, because he hadn’t been able to sleep very soundly since getting back. It had been years but he still almost missed the way the ground felt beneath him.

“I’ll have to try that. Thanks.”

It was strange, but Steve felt lighter than he had in days as he walked away. Maybe he would take Sam up on that offer to talk.

* * *

The next few weeks seem to drag on for Steve. He spent countless hours—though it was 93 to be exact because he did count—learning and speaking Russian. It was vital to “handling the Asset” according to Pierce.

It wasn’t that Steve wasn’t able to learn it, but it was different from the French he’d learned in high school. Not to mention the tone and commands he was learning were more like dog commands than anything else.

It felt strange because the Soldier had already spoken to him in English, so it wasn’t like he was incapable of speaking at all or only Russian. The thought of them taking the Soldier’s voice and ability to communicate as well as everything else made Steve see red.

It made Steve nearly sick every night.

The only thing that brought him some sort of relief was the hope that it was an active choice by the Soldier. The Soldier chose to only speak English around certain people. Maybe it was a small act of rebellion since he had so few of them. Either way, Steve wanted to find out.

But he persevered because that’s what a soldier does. Even if you don’t like the orders, you still follow through with them because that’s what’s important. You need to have that time and training in the background in order to make sure that you can handle everything that comes your way.

Especially since he was trying to become an ally to the Soldier. Pierce probably wasn’t going to like it, but it was what Steve needed—wanted to do.

Aside from learning Russian, the first few weeks were mostly more hand-to-hand combat training. Steve had actually trained with Soldier for that part. Steve learned more in a few weeks with the Soldier than he had in years of training in the Army and SHIELD.

After learning the Russian commands and being labeled “excellent” in his hand-to-hand, Steve went on to learn about the different sorts of missions the Soldier went on and how he was used.

The soldier was never used for extractions. He was used for assassinations and eliminations. Destruction. Death.

Very rarely was he used for gathering certain information or intelligence—but that was when the contents were so volatile that they couldn’t trust them with anyone else in case they were compromised.

Very, very rarely would the Soldier even go along with anyone or a team to do a simple extraction because he wasn’t supposed to exist. If too many people alive started seeing him, he’d become more than legend. It was easier to spin a ghost story if no one can be sure they’ve even seen him.

He does go out with certain teams, but is never infiltrated into the team itself.

The Soldier also does go out on solo errands or missions, but only with the Handler waiting at their meeting location, in case anything were to go wrong.

Steve had to memorize this; though he was never given any specifics to any actual missions the Soldier went on. They claimed it was to protect Steve. Should anything come to light, he wouldn’t have any accountability.

Steve knew it was really because they didn’t trust him yet.

Along with the actual using of the Soldier, Steve became very fluent in the process of reanimating him. It still made Steve uncomfortable how clinical everything was; nothing was written out like this was a man. There was no inkling of anyone ever having asked him what it was he wanted or if he was in pain or anything.

He was treated like an object. He was their weapon.

It’d be a few more days yet before he’d actually begin training with the Soldier. Pierce wanted him to run through a series of simulations and situations to see how Steve would react.

Steve wasn’t nervous, refused to be nervous. This was what he was good at, what he trained for. He knew how to handle things when they came his way; he trusted his instincts and training. It was really that simple.

He just wanted to make sure that he passed because he needed to be with the Soldier. He needed to be _something_ for the Soldier. It wasn’t fair that he had to live this way and Steve wanted to try and make it just a little bit better.

“Captain Rogers,” Pierce said, strolling over with one hand in his pocket. The other clutched a small file.

“Pierce,” Steve greeted, coming to his feet and standing at attention. Military habits die hard after all.

Pierce smiled. “Stand down, Captain. I just wanted to congratulate you on completing your training.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“It’s quite remarkable,” Pierce said. “That you believe you will use reason and logic for the Soldier. If things go so sour there’s no turning back.”

Steve stayed quiet.

“For all our sakes,” Pierce said, “We best hope that nothing of that magnitude ever happens. There’s no telling whether or not he’d ever come back.”

* * *

Steve walked with Pierce back into the old bank building. He was more determined this time; he knew what he was going to witness. It was easier the second time. It’d probably easier the next time he went as well.

His conscience would eventually quiet down, knowing that it needed to if Steve was going to be able to befriend the Soldier. He couldn’t just do it outright. For one Pierce ordered him to follow the guidelines and regulations involved. Steve couldn’t throw them out the first time he started training with the Soldier.

It would have to be gradual. And that meant stomaching what he had to witness. The ends justified the means. They _had_ to.

Steve took a breath and stepped off the elevator. Pierce was nearly thrumming with excitement. Steve wanted to punch him.

“Sir, I would like to be present for the entire process,” Steve requested when Pierce held the door open for the observation deck.

Pierce raised an eyebrow. “You would be from here as well.”

Steve swallowed. “I want the Soldier to get used to seeing me. My hope is that if he sees me right away, I can control him.”

_Without resorting to violence and shackles._

Pierce frowned in thought. “I don’t see why it would hurt. But don’t be upset when it doesn’t work, Captain.”

Steve nodded and took his place next to the head technician.

“Getting a front row seat?” She asked.

Steve nodded. “I want him to be familiar with me.”

She laughed bitterly. “I’ve been handling the Asset for over twenty years. It has yet to recognize me and my authority.”

“Hmm.” Steve said. _He probably doesn’t recognize you because you hide behind your clipboard and order his mind fried as soon as he wakes up._

Honestly, that was Steve’s goal. He wanted to make sure that the Soldier knew that Steve wouldn’t allow pain or threats. That Steve was on his side.

Steve knew that it would take time to build up that trust, but he was willing to do it to make sure the Soldier knew he wasn't alone.

Steve would need to prove himself. It wasn’t fair to assume or expect anything from the Soldier since there has been no indication that anyone had treated him with any sort of affection or care in the last twenty years at least. And the affection he might have gotten from Pierce was far from healthy.

“Begin containment heating,” the woman said next to him.

“What’s your name, ma’am?” Steve asked. “I figured it’d be appropriate for me to learn since we’ll hopefully be working together for the near future.”

She smiled at him. “Kara Bradley.”

“Steve Rogers,” he said, holding out his hand.

“We know all about you, Captain Rogers.”

Steve nodded and looked down, feeling his face heat up. He wondered if it was because of his Army career or because they needed to be debriefed before bringing anyone on the Winter Soldier project.

Steve hoped it was the latter.

“Containment at four degrees and rising,” a man at the monitor said to Kara.

Steve turned his gaze to the small glass window, watching for any sign of life.

The man’s face twitched at 15 degrees.

He grimaced at 19 degrees.

He probably would have screamed at 22 degrees.

He finally opened his eyes at 31 degrees.

Steve saw the panic in them as soon as they opened. He wished he could open the door and talk to him, make sure he knew what was happening, that it was going to be okay.

He wished he could hurt anyone who did this to him.

“Opening containment.”

Four guards followed the technicians in charge of opening the doors. The door clanked open and the Soldier nearly collapsed out of it and into the waiting arms of the people around him. Steve could only watch as he tried to push himself away from them but he was too weak. They then strapped him to the chair.

Steve pushed his way to the front, needed the Soldier to see him. He needed to know if the man would remember him.

* * *

 

* * *

 

The Soldier’s eyes fixed on him, locked with his and Steve froze. It was pain and fear and hurt and exhaustion all at once and Steve didn’t know which emotion to approach first.

Steve smiled gently at the Soldier. “Do you know where you are?”

The Soldier gave a stilted nod.

“Good. Do you remember me?” Steve asked.

Again, the Soldier gave one nod.

“I’m Steve Rogers,” Steve said, just to make sure he remembered his name. “I’m here to be your partner for upcoming missions.”

“Captain,” Kara said from the side. “You’re his handler, not his partner.”

Steve turned to frown at her. “I can call it whatever I want. I am trying to make sure he understands.”

She chuckled at him. “It’s not like you’re going to get a response.”

Steve frowned at her as she turned back to another technician. He took a step closer to the Soldier whose arms were still straining against the straps holding him down.

“Sir, I wouldn’t—“ Steve stared down the man who tried to tell him what he should be doing. The two guards stepped to the side and Steve moved right next to the Soldier.

“I know you can understand me,” Steve whispered so only the Soldier could hear, with his back to everyone else. “And I know that you don’t want to speak English in front of anyone but Pierce right now. That’s okay. But I want you to know that I’m not here to hurt you. I want to help you.

“Do you understand that?”

The Soldier barely inclined his head.

“Good.” Steve smiled again and wanted to reach out and touch him. “I know you’re scared, but I’m not going to let anything happen to you. This is apparently a precaution,” Steve said gesturing to the straps and metal holding him.

“I am so sorry that it’s making you uncomfortable.” Steve sighed. “Is there anything else you need?”

The Soldier’s mouth turned down at the corners in a frown but he said nothing.

“Captain Rogers,” Pierce called. “What are you doing?”

Steve took a few steps back. “Staring down the Soldier to make sure he knows who’s in charge.”

Pierce smiled proudly at him. “Mission—“

“Sir,” Steve interrupted.

“Yes?”

“I would ask that I’m the one who asks for his status,” Steve told him. “I feel like it’s going to confuse him to have too many people demanding his full attention.”

Pierce inclined his head. “All right.”

Steve nodded and turned back to the Soldier. “Status?”

The Soldier’s eyes locked on Steve’s. “Functionality Diminished. Returning mobility.”

Steve smiled at him. “Good. They’re going to check you over for any injuries or issues that may have arisen since the last time you were awake.”

“Captain, you don’t need to give him any of those details.” Pierce looked disappointed.

“I know,” Steve said, “but I would do that for any of my other soldiers. I’m not treating him differently than any of the other people I’ve had in my command.”

“He’s not a soldier,” Pierce said. “He’s a weapon. A weapon that might kill you as soon as you give him an opening.”

Steve shrugged. “Any one of my soldiers could have killed me while we were sleeping or walking or training if they had wanted to. I trusted that they wouldn’t. I believe that I can build a bit of trust with this Soldier and then he won’t.”

Pierce just shook his head. “You must follow the regulations.”

“I know all the command codes,” Steve said. “But I would like to try a different approach. Besides, he’s already followed my orders without codes. _And_ when someone else gave him a direct order. Let me try my way and know that I know everything there is to know to control him if need be.”

“As you wish, Captain.” Pierce didn’t look happy anymore, but Steve didn’t concern himself with that.

The Soldier was staring blankly ahead, but Steve knew that he had heard everything they had been saying. It was important that the Soldier knew that Steve wasn’t like the other handlers—that he couldn’t _ever_ be like the other handlers.

He saw the Soldier as a person and was going to treat him like one.

Steve stayed right beside the Soldier through all the tests. He would explain what they were doing, at least to the best of his knowledge. The Soldier never acknowledged it, but Steve knew that he was listening.

He was angry when they hosed him down and wanted to draw him a warm bath, maybe something away from all the people staring at him.

For some reason, it was the nakedness of the Soldier that was the hardest for Steve to handle. The man had no semblance of his own body, of his own person, and they wouldn’t even give him the decency of having anything to cover himself with.

Even if he felt completely comfortable with that, it should be his choice.

All of this should be his choice.

But none of it was.

Even Steve being his handler wasn’t his choice. Steve treating him like a friend, or trying to, isn’t what the Soldier wanted. It was what Steve wanted.

Was Steve any better than all the other people who were doing whatever they wanted to him?

That thought nearly sent Steve into a panic attack, but he managed to calm himself down. Though the Soldier had picked up on it; his eyes piercing Steve’s soul.

The longer Steve was there, the more he realized he’d have to do.

His first primary goal was establishing a relationship with the Soldier. That was the most important because he didn’t want to do anything else until he knew what it was that the Soldier wanted.

If he wanted a frozen banana, Steve would get him one. If he wanted a fuzzy pink blanket, Steve would find the nearest one. He just wanted to be _different_ from all the other people the Soldier interacted with.

He hoped the Soldier saw that, at least a little bit.

The entire day was draining for Steve. And he felt guilty thinking that because the Soldier had literally been through so much worse.

Pierce had told him he was dismissed and to report back at the bank at 0900 the next morning.

Steve had nodded and then walked back to the Soldier.

“I am going to leave for the night,” Steve told him. “But I will be back tomorrow morning.”

The Soldier’s eyes shifted to the floor and then back up to Steve’s face. He was currently locked in a small, windowed cell and looked like he was perfectly okay with everything that was happening. That eye movement was the closest thing Steve was going to get to a nod.

“Try and get some rest.” Steve hesitated before speaking so softly he could barely hear himself, “I’m sorry for all you had to go through today.”

The Soldier frowned at him and Steve turned away to leave. There wasn’t anything more he could say at this point.

* * *

The next few days passed in a very similar way.

Steve arrived at nine every morning and strolled right down to the room the Soldier was staying in. All the codes had been given to Steve and his fingerprint was put into the system so he could unlock every door to the building now.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t much more that he could do or see. It was all basically storage and tons of outdated equipment, but it was nice to know that Steve could look around if he needed to.

He would eat a small breakfast with the Soldier. More accurately, he’d sit with the Soldier and talk about the morning and what he did the night before while the Soldier sat there with an IV in his arm and green or yellow sludge thing that he’d drink down. Steve was torn between guilt and embarrassment whenever he’d talk to the Soldier. Guilt because he was free to leave and could go do anything he wanted to. Embarrassment because he really didn’t do anything.

Steve was a simple man and preferred to just be home. Steve’s life was all about routine. It was what he’d known for over a decade. It was what he was comfortable with.

He felt like the Soldier would understand that.

The Soldier never spoke to him, but he’d watch him and seemed to enjoy Steve’s stories.

They’d move onto training. The Soldier was very particular with Steve’s hand-to-hand training. He was intense and refused to back down until Pierce commanded him to. Steve didn’t have the heart to tell him to stop. It was the only way the Soldier could get some of his feelings out and Steve was more than willing to take the brunt of that.

It was the least—hell, the _only—_ thing he could do for the Soldier anyway.  

Steve also had to go through the commands, making sure the Soldier understood that he needed to follow Steve’s orders. Steve hated it the entire time.

But he couldn’t do anything about it; he was following his own orders.

He had to practice telling him to Stop, Kill, Attack, Sleep, and Power Down. Every time the commands fell off his tongue Steve wanted to throw up.

The worst one was the power down when the Soldier just stopped entirely. Steve had to wake him up with a command that jolted him back to life and it just… it made him entirely sick to watch.

The Soldier didn’t seem to mind too much. At least, he showed no more emotion than the ones Steve had seen on him yet.

* * *

 

Pierce had given Steve a mission with the Soldier. It wasn’t anything grand, but it was a mission away from their base and Steve was excited.

It was to go for a walk and keep the Soldier under control. There would be a Team in place, should Steve fail and take them both down.

“But I trust it won’t come down to that,” Pierce had said as he explained everything.

Steve had stood by the Soldier, who was unarmed because that was another risk Pierce didn’t want to take, listening to Pierce tell them their mission.

“Mission parameters?” Pierce asked.

The Soldier straightened his spine. “Walk around park 3 times with Captain Rogers. No casualties. No interaction.”

Pierce smiled. “Good.”

Steve and the Soldier were led into a van, the same one as the first time Steve had rode with him somewhere. The Soldier went directly to the seat that was designed for him and Steve shook his head.

“You don’t have to sit there,” Steve said. “I’m not going to strap you in.”

“It is for your safety.”

“Are you going to attack me on our drive?” Steve asked.

“Negative.”

“Then I don’t see why I need to strap you down,” Steve said. “I trust you.”

The Soldier frowned, but didn’t move.

A tech came by and tried to clamp the metal bands down and Steve stopped him. “No.”

“But Captain. He might become violent in the car and you’ll be trapped,” the tech said quietly as though the Soldier couldn’t hear him.

“I’ve spent the last two weeks with him and he hasn’t attacked me once. I don’t believe he will today,” Steve said.

“But he might,” the tech stressed.

“Then it will be my mistake and I’ll suffer the consequences and punishment,” Steve said.

The tech made a slight stressed noise in his throat, but closed the back door without another word.

Steve sighed. “Finally less eyes on us. I don’t know how you do it.’

The Solider said nothing.

“People watching you all the time. It’d drive me crazy,” Steve said. “You are so much stronger than they think you are.”

Silence.

“Are you comfortable here?” Steve asked. “I just. I want to be able to talk with you without anyone else watching or listening in. I want to make sure that you’re okay.

“I want you to be able to tell me if you’re not okay.” Steve sighed and the Soldier’s eyes stared at him.

“I don’t like how they’re treating you and I just want to make sure that you know that someone’s on your side,” Steve told him.

“Why?” the Soldier whispered.

“Because you’re my friend,” Steve said. “And I want to be your friend too. Friends care about each other.”

The Soldier didn’t say anything else for the remainder of the ride.

* * *

The mission went fine. There were no casualties, no attacks, and no conversation.

It helped that there were no people in the park at all. Steve had to believe that Pierce did that intentionally to make sure that the Soldier didn’t have to interact with anyone but Steve.

Steve kept up a small stream of meaningless conversation. He’d even told the Soldier that it was what he had to do because otherwise it’d look weird with two people walking side by side and not saying anything. But Steve did keep it light and quiet.

He didn’t want to upset the Soldier or give him any reason to feel overwhelmed.

It was over quickly and they were put back in their van to drive back to the base. Again Steve told him he wasn’t going to bolt him down but the Soldier still sat where he was supposed to.

They arrived too quickly back at the bank vault area, much too quickly. Steve hadn’t been able to say anything more to the Soldier before they were being taken away. The Soldier was escorted down to his room for the night.

Except he wasn’t taken to his room right away. It was to the main room where he’s pulled out of the cryo tank where Pierce was waiting.

He didn’t look happy. But he never really did.

“Report?” Pierce asked.

The Soldier stood at attention. “Completed. No incidents. No casualties.”

“Good,” Pierce said. He glanced over at Steve. “Report Captain Rogers.”

The Soldier’s spine stiffened again. Steve noticed because he was standing right next to him.

“Good. Unnecessary for mission. Refused to strap asset in van.”

“Why?” Pierce asked.

The Soldier let out a tiny breath. “He said he wanted to be friends with the asset.”

If Steve hadn’t been so well trained, he would have flinched or grimaced or something. Instead he stayed focused.

He should have known that Pierce was going to ask him that and the Soldier wasn’t human enough to know to lie, at least not against a direct command by his superior.

“Did he now?” Pierce asked quietly. “Wipe him. Prep him for cryo.”

The Soldier obediently walked right to the chair and sat down. He opened his mouth for the mouth guard and stared straight ahead.

“You can’t be _friends_ with the asset,” Pierce told Steve as they stood together. “He isn’t human enough for that.”

Steve felt sick. He’d just thought something very similar. He was no better than Pierce was.

“You need to follow the guidelines given to you,” Pierce said. “If you don’t, this will keep happening and you might need to find yourself another job. Understood?”

Steve nodded. “Yes. Sir.”

“Good.” Pierce turned away. “Take a few weeks off of this, Captain. Study up on your Russian. Be prepared to follow orders the next time you are to work with the Asset.”

Steve nodded but Pierce was already walking away.

He took a few steps closer to the Soldier and wished he could reach out and touch him. The Soldier’s eyes snapped to his. They were terrified.

“I’m sorry,” Steve said softly, so only the Soldier could hear. “I should have thought back to your report. I hadn’t wanted this to happen to you. I’ll do better next time, I promise.”

The Soldier’s eyes didn’t leave Steve’s.

“I’m going to stay until you’re asleep, okay?” Steve said. “And I’ll be here when you wake up.”

The Soldier’s breathing intensified and Steve hated that terrified look. It was heartbreaking to watch. It was worse knowing it was his fault, He was the reason the Soldier was going through this currently.

If only he’d followed the orders he had been told to do then this wouldn’t be happening.

* * *

Steve tried to get the Soldier’s face out of his head on his run the next morning, but he wasn’t able to. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since Steve had left him the previous night.

The haunted look in his eyes was killing Steve. It wasn’t even like the Soldier was mad at him or blamed him; Steve blamed himself. He should have been paying more attention and realized that just because he wanted to do something different didn’t mean he was able to.

Hell, the Soldier might have very well felt uncomfortable by Steve’s advances anyway. Better to get it over with now.

“Still running away I take it?”

Steve turned, his arms above his head as he tried to control his breathing. Sam, the man he’d met months ago was walking up to him. “Looks that way.”

Sam smiled at him. “Your situation getting any better?”

Steve shrugged. “It’s just...not something I’m used to being in.”

“What do you mean by that?” Sam took a long drink of his water, his eyes flittering around to the other people walking through the Mall at this time.

“It’s just. I thought I was doing the right thing, but I went against my commanding officer. And one of my men was punished for it,” Steve said, hoping that was enough information to get some sort of advice or help from Sam without giving anything else away.

“Hmm,” Sam said. His voice remained calm but his eyes hardened. “That’s a tough one. The closest I came to that was when my partner and I disagreed with how command wanted us to handle a pick-up. He wanted to do it a different way, but I said we should follow our orders.”

“What happened?” Steve asked quietly, feeling like he knew that look.

“We should have done what Riley said. At least that way we might have been more prepared for that attack,” Sam said quietly.

“You two were alone?”

“Para-rescue,” Sam supplied. “We normally did our missions just the two of us or a couple extra people. It’s a bit difficult to do stealth missions and pick-ups if there’s a whole fleet of us.”

Steve nodded, but didn’t quite understand the logic. There were times with SHIELD and the Army both where they fit like 20 men in the helicopters when they had to. You just made it work when that was all you had. But it wasn’t the time for questioning or nitpicking.

“Do you feel like you did the right thing?” Sam asked.

“I thought I was,” Steve told him. “My commander thought differently.”

“If you can tell me, what did you disagree on with this guy?” Sam asked.

“There’s a member of the team who hasn’t really been given the chance to have a proper relationship with anyone. He was always on the outskirts because he wasn’t really…part of the team, I guess. I was just transferred to command the unit and I thought I’d include him a bit more,” Steve sighed. “Apparently it’s like that way for a reason.”

“What did this soldier think?”

Steve shook his head. “I don’t know. He doesn’t really say much.

“And that’s the other problem I have is that I don’t know what he wants. I know what command wants and what everyone else wants, but he is not very talkative and not very responsive when I try and ask him anything.”

“Why do you think that is?” Sam asked.

“I think it’s because he’s not used to having anyone actually care about him and what he wants,” Steve said. “He’s had a…rough life. I think—I _hope_ it’s just him having a bit of a hard time trying to come to terms with everything that’s happening,” Steve admitted quietly.

“So maybe the guilt you’re feeling isn’t because you disobeyed command but because you’re not sure if you’re trying to befriend him for you or for him,” Sam said quietly.

“Yeah,” Steve said. “Maybe.”

Sam took another drink from his water bottle.

“What should I do?” Steve asked. “What would you do if you were in this situation?”

“Unfortunately there’s no clear answer. But I guess I would just keep trying with the guy, but subtler until you know what he wants. I mean, making sure he knows that someone’s got his back has got to be helpful in the long run.” Sam sighed. “If I was in that situation, I’d want to trust the person before I started opening up.”

Steve nodded and then realized that he’d basically unloaded on a stranger. “I’m sorry.”

Sam cocked his head. “For what?”

“Don’t you normally charge for this kind of thing?” Steve asked, forcing a chuckled and rubbing the back of his neck.

Sam waved him off. “What’s a bit of advice and conversation between friends?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

Sam laughed good-naturedly. “Don’t worry about it, Steve. It’s all part of the training. I’m happy to help in any way I can.”

“Well, thanks,” Steve mumbled. “I appreciate you willing to talk this out with me.”

“No problem.” Sam held out his hand. “Until next time, man.”

“Sure,” Steve said. “Until next time.”

* * *

Steve tried to put the situation out of his mind for the next few weeks. It wasn’t going to do him any good to dwell on it; besides, it wasn’t like there was anything he could really do about it. All he could do was go back to keeping his head down and doing what was asked of him.

And hope like hell he was going to be able to work again with the Soldier.

Pierce hadn’t brought it up with him at all since that day. Steve didn’t know what to make of that. He knew that the Soldier was frequently frozen and only used for certain missions, but it was still strange for him to have been caged so fresh into their training.

Then again, what did Steve really _know_ about the Winter Soldier Project?

Not much. That small, practically nonexistent file was all the information he had and the few conversations he’d had with the people involved. Not very much to go off of when trying to figure out how to break through training like that to get to the person underneath.

Then again, what if he breaks through the training and the Soldier doesn’t want to have anything to do with him? Well, that would be just fine because it’s the Soldier’s choice. He gets to decide what they’re going to do— _if_ they’re even going to be working together.

_What if the Soldier preferred to remain leashed and brain-washed?_

Steve honestly couldn’t believe that anyone would want to stay in a situation like that. It wasn’t humane or right, but maybe it was better than an alternative to the Soldier.

Steve tried to think about what he would do and want if he was the one who’d been on ice for seventy years. He’d wake up in a future and have no recollection of getting there. All the people he’d known would be long dead, or at the very least, severely aged; they might not even recognize him at all.

Apart from the personal things, he’d wake up to a world he didn’t understand. Well, the Soldier probably _does_ understand things a lot better than a normal guy who’d been frozen off and on for seventy years would. It’s crucial to his use that he understands technology and current events—at least whatever Pierce deems necessary.

There’s got to be more information somewhere. That thought plagued Steve’s mind for the next week until he was actually faced with someone who might be able to help him.

Maria Hill. She was Fury’s right hand—though honestly everyone says she does more work for half the credit. Steve was slightly intimidated by her.

“Captain Rogers,” she greeted kindly as she walked into the elevator he was standing in.

“Agent Hill,” Steve responded. “How are things?”

“Things are good,” Hill said, laughing quietly. “Can’t complain much. How’s Pierce’s group treating you?”

Steve shrugged and smiled. “Good.”

Hill regarded him for a minute and Steve was certain that she was reading his mind. “That’s good to hear. We miss you over on our old unit.”

Steve sighed. “I miss you guys too.”

“You ever want a transfer, you let me know,” Hill said seriously. “I owe you one as it is.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Steve said, feeling his ears burn. “I just did what anyone would do.”

“Captain Rogers,” Hill said, “You were shot for me. That’s not something easy to forget. And not something I’m _going_ to forget.”

Steve nodded.

“It doesn’t need to be a transfer,” Hill said. “But if there is anything I can help you with, let me know okay?”

Steve swallowed. There it was. The opening for him to tell someone, to get some information, _anything_ regarding the Winter Soldier Project. All he had to do was ask her if she could look into the Winter Soldier Project. He would even have to tell her that he was specifically looking for a name, an identity for the Soldier.

Pierce’s face flashed in front of his mind which bled directly into Hill’s still body, a bullet wound right through her heart. _This stays between us, right?_

He couldn’t ask her, not only for her own sake, but also for the Soldier’s. He’d already paid for one of Steve’s mistakes. He couldn’t do it to him again.

He _wouldn’t_ cause him pain again.

“Thanks, Agent Hill,” Steve said. “I will definitely keep that in mind.”

Hill smiled. “Don’t be a stranger.”

“You either.”

“And for god’s sake, call me Maria!” she called after him as he got off the elevator.

He knew he wouldn’t follow her order, but it was nice to know he had someone on his side should he need them in the future. He tried not to think about what the future might be. He could only hope the Soldier—happy and healthy—was there with him.

* * *

The next few months passed in a blur of recon missions regarding the Avengers Initiative that Fury was working on. Apparently Pierce didn’t trust Fury’s judgement on it and wasn’t convinced he was being honest. In fairness, neither did Steve.

It was one of the reasons he didn’t work very well directly with Fury. There was always something about Fury that made you realize that he was always holding something back, some vital information or just enough to make you feel like you were out of the loop. He always waited until the other person showed their hand before he even really played.

Steve hated that. He wasn’t as good with the spy game as some of the others. He could do it and do it well, but he didn’t have the knack for it. He didn’t like the games and the fact that you couldn’t, or shouldn’t, trust anyone on your team because they might turn around and betray you.

That wasn’t what Steve wanted. He wanted a team that he could trust absolutely and who trusted him. That’s what it was supposed to be like.

It wasn’t exactly like that with Pierce, but it also wasn’t really like that with Fury either.

But all those missions took his mind off the Soldier, though that was only briefly. The man haunted Steve’s dreams at night, falling from a bridge, falling over a cliff, falling off a train, falling off a building. He was always falling and just out of reach enough that Steve couldn’t grab him.

If he had a therapist, they’d probably say it was a sign from his subconscious, telling him that he wants to rescue the Soldier but doesn’t know how or arrived too late to make any difference.

Steve didn’t tell anyone, just continued to follow his commands. He was a soldier; it wasn’t his place to question orders, only to follow them. Regardless of how bad they might be. Regardless of how they might upset his conscious.

Pierce called him to his office seven months after the Incident. Steve had pretty much given up hope over being included again when he got the summons.

“Mr. Pierce? Captain Rogers is here to see you,” Pierce’s receptionist said as Steve stood off to the side.

“Send him in, Derrick.”

Derrick nodded to Steve and he walked through the doors, telling himself to remain calm.

“Captain Rogers.” Pierce was seated behind his desk. “I take it you have been well?”

“Yes, sir,” Steve said.

“We are reanimating the Asset this week,” Pierce said. He watched him, gauging Steve’s reaction.

Steve didn’t say anything and kept his hands clasped behind his back.

“I want to welcome you back to the team,” Pierce said. “But I need to know that I can trust you to follow your orders.”

“Of course, sir,” Steve said.

“You didn’t last time.”

“I didn’t know that I wasn’t allowed to talk to the Soldier,” Steve said softly.

“You’re allowed to talk to him,” Pierce said with a small chuckle. “But you’re not to engage with his humanity. That could cause massive set-backs for us and we wouldn’t want that. Would we?”

Steve clenched his jaw.

“You wouldn’t want to be responsible for single-handedly causing the destruction of America’s greatest weapon, would you?” Pierce cocked his head.

“No sir.”

“Then we have an understanding?” Pierce said.

“We do,” Steve said.

“Then you are dismissed, Captain,” Pierce said. “Be at the First National Bank tomorrow at 0700.”

“Yes, sir,” Steve said. “Thank you, sir.”

“Do not fail us again.”

“Understood.” Steve bowed his head slightly and took his leave.

He knew that Pierce meant him and the entire SHIELD organization, but Steve’s only thought was not failing the Soldier. He couldn’t be the reason he got hurt or frozen again. He wanted to be an ally for him, someone he could rely on.

 _Someone who might break him free._ The voice in Steve’s head whispered quietly. He snuffed it out because that was dangerous thinking. He couldn’t be thinking like that at all—let alone when he was under severe scrutiny and potential dismissal.

He would have to time it out exactly to make sure the Soldier would be able to get away. Steve just had to quiet the voice inside his head because it wouldn’t help his case or planning to be focused on a rescue mission he didn’t have planned yet.

One that might never even happen.

* * *

The next day Steve stood behind the techs as the Soldier was thawed out. The Soldier was pulled from the box again, a whimper making its way from his throat before being snuffed out.

He was pushed cruelly into the chair and started worrying again. Steve took a step forward and the Soldier’s eyes found his. He tilted his head, his eyes wide.

The front man pushed the Soldier’s head back into the brace and Steve could only watch as they poked and prodded him while under extreme duress. He wanted to interfere, tell them all that he was clearly afraid and nervous and they needed to give him a little space to understand where he was and then he’d cooperate.

Steve took another step and let the Soldier’s eyes rest on him. “They’re just running tests. Making sure you’re doing all right.”

The Soldier’s eyes flicked to the metal head-clamp floating above him.

Steve sighed. “That should be a last resort.”

He could feel Pierce’s and Kara Bradley’s eyes on him, but he ignored them. The Soldier wasn’t struggling so much anymore and he was going to take advantage of that. “I will warn you if they’re thinking of using it, okay?”

The Soldier dropped his eyes before pulling them back up.

Pierce arrived at Steve’s side.

“Report, Soldier?” Steve asked briskly.

“Functionality diminished. Mobility returning to extremities.”

Steve nodded. “Good.”

Pierce merely smiled at the two of them. “Working together well, I see?”

“Trying to, sir,” Steve said. He turned his eyes to Pierce and watched him watch the Soldier.

“Do you know what’s on the agenda, Captain Rogers?” Pierce asked.

“I assumed more training,” Steve replied.

“But this time it’s training with a purpose,” Pierce said. “I’m having you go along on missions in the next few weeks.”

“So soon?”

“We’re on a very important timeline, Captain,” Pierce told him. “I need you both ready. And if my suspicions are correct, he will obey your commands without much prompting.”

“Sir?” Steve asked softly. “Does he need prompting from me if he’s programmed to obey once he’s out?”

Pierce turned to him. “It’s always best to have contingency plans. It’s why we have certain safe guards in place.”

“Safe guards?” Steve asked.

“Trigger phrases for him,” Pierce said. “Shut downs and reboots and even a self-destruct if absolutely necessary.”

Steve swallowed. “I already know what those are.”

Pierce merely smiled. “But you’ve never had to use them in the middle of a field of battle, have you?”

Steve shook his head.

“It’s much more difficult when you have to be quiet about it. You can’t just shut out the commands across the field,” Pierce said.

“Why?”

Pierce chuckled. “Because then everyone would know what the phrases are to control him.If everyone knew those words, it could be chaos.”

“I didn’t think many people knew about the Winter Soldier project,” Steve said.

“They don’t,” Pierce replied. “But using Russian is just a precaution. It keeps what we’re saying slightly hidden from others.”

“Can’t find something if you don’t know you’re looking at it,” Steve said.

“Exactly Captain.”

“Moving onto Phase Two,” Kara said.

Pierce nodded. “As you were.”

Steve started to follow and paused. “Thank you for explaining that to me. I’m sorry I didn’t think to ask earlier.”

Pierce smiled at him, like he was proud or fond. “You’re the only one who ever has.”

Steve nodded to that, unsure exactly what he was supposed to respond to that with and trailed after the Soldier. There was more that he still needed to learn and understand about the Soldier and the things surrounding him.

* * *

Steve continued training with the Soldier for the next few days. He showed up every morning for their hand-to-hand training and mission debriefs. He knew that all the debriefs were meant for him to make sure that he was ready to do whatever it took to control the Soldier.

He didn’t let it bother him. The Soldier trusted him.

Steve couldn’t explain how he knew that, only that he did. It was the way the Soldier’s eyes would follow him around while he was hooked up to machines. How he would perk up when Steve arrived in the mornings. How he’d drink water when Steve passed him some and not hesitate. It was little things—things that no one else seemed to notice, but Steve did.

It made Steve want to help him escape sooner. There were days when he would think about just trying to make a run for it. He knew it was foolish and would never work, but his mind would suggest plans anyways. Steve just continued on with the training, pretending that everything was fine.

He didn’t want to be this person who only ever followed orders anymore. He really didn’t. He wanted to be a better leader than he was currently being. His favorite quote popped into his head: _If you’re a good and kind leader, people will follow you to the ends of the earth_.

They were the words of Peggy Carter—a war hero during the Second World War. She overcame so much adversity just to be included, but then the Howling Commandos had demanded she be part of their group. Eventually, she became their leader after she rescued an entire group of POWs.

She was the type of leader Steve had always aspired to be:  kind, good, and trustworthy.

He could only hope that it would come true for him sometime soon. And isn’t the thought of doing something better and noble better than doing nothing? He’s planning on trying to free the Soldier, so isn’t that enough?

Steve hoped that it was.

They were currently staying in a hotel where they were going to spend the next three days gathering intel together. Well, the Soldier was supposed to sneak into the apartment of some visiting official to copy the data they had on the current names for the new UN Security Council.

“Soldier?” Steve asked quietly.

The Soldier stood at attention.

“At ease,” Steve said. He hated people saluting him or anything of that nature. “I wanted to ask you for a report on what Pierce has commanded of you.”

“Commander Pierce requested reports on the mission, success or failure, and Captain Steven Rogers.” The Soldier turned his glance to the side, as if afraid of meeting Steve’s eyes.

“Hey,” Steve said quietly. “It’s okay. I’m not upset. I just wanted to know what I can and can’t talk to you about.”

The Soldier tilted his head.

“I don’t want you to get in any trouble because of me again,” Steve said.

“Again?”

“The last time we worked together, I asked you your name and said that I hoped we could be friends,” Steve said. “Pierce asked for your report and you told him. He was upset at me and you paid the price.”

The Soldier clenched his jaw.

“Do you remember that?”

The Soldier shook his head.

“I didn’t think you would. But I’m still sorry that it happened. That I caused it,” Steve said.

“Unsure command,” the Soldier said.

“It’s not a command,” Steve told him. “It was an apology.”

“Unidentified command.”

“Have you never heard an apology before?” Steve asked.

The Soldier didn’t say anything.

“Of course not. They don’t treat you like a person. Why would they apologize to you?” Steve mumbled under his breath.

“Apology.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah. It’s just a way to express sorrow for something that happened to someone else.”

“Sorry.”

Steve nodded again. “But speaking of commands, how can I get you to not tell Pierce what we talk about this weekend?”

“Withhold command,” the Soldier said. “Override command.”

“Is that okay if I do that?” Steve asked.

The Soldier frowned at him.

“I just don’t want you to have to lie for me or get in trouble if we talk about anything else,” Steve explained.

“I overrode Rumlow’s command, didn’t I?” Steve asked. “Though Pierce is a little higher up than me.” He sighed.

“And I don’t feel right ordering you around. Can I just ask you not to tell Pierce what we talk about?”

“Ask me?”

Steve smiled at him. “I don’t want to order you. I don’t feel like that’s fair. So I’m asking you not to tell Pierce anything we talk about.”

The Soldier just frowned again.

“In return, I promise not to tell anyone anything that you’ve talked about,” Steve swore. “No one even knows that you’ve spoken English to me.”

The Soldier looked surprised.

“I felt like it wasn’t my place to say anything,” Steve told him. “Besides, I’m not sure you want anyone else knowing that you _can_ speak English. With everything you’re going through, it sort of seems like one small victory for you.”

“Why would you do that?” the Soldier asked.

“Because I meant what I said when I told you I wanted us to be friends, a team,” Steve said. “I don’t want to be your handler. I want to be your friend.”

“Friend.”

“I know that I’m going to have to earn your trust,” Steve told him. “And I will.”

The Soldier clenched his jaw.

“I’m going to tell you that I’m going to look into your identity,” Steve said. “Even if I can only call you your name when we’re alone, I’d still like you to have it.”

“My name?”

Steve nodded. “Yes. Do you have any starting point on your identity? Any memories from the past at all?”

The Soldier’s eyes focused and then unfocused. Steve wanted to reach out to him, but thought against it. “Sergeant. 107th.”

Steve nodded. “Okay. A Sergeant in the 107th. Do you remember if that’s Army?”

The Soldier closed his eyes and started breathing quickly. Steve was reminded of when he was put in the chair and wiped.

“Hey,” Steve said, reaching out to place his hand on the Soldier’s arm. “It’s okay. I’ll find whatever’s out there, okay? Don’t worry about it.”

The Soldier shivered under Steve’s touch.

“Why don’t we get some sleep, yeah?”

“The Asset doesn’t need sleep. Mission parameters dictate 48 hours on average of no sleep.”

Steve frowned. “That doesn’t sound fun. But if that’s what you want or able to do, that’s fine. If you want to rest or sleep, you can as well.”

Steve turned on the TV and was happy to see an episode of _The Office_ playing. “This is pretty funny. Is it okay if I have it on in the background?”

The Soldier merely nodded.

“I know you said no rest, but will you at least sit on the bed and get comfortable?” Steve asked as he settled into his own bed.

The Solder sat at the edge of the other bed and stared down at Steve.

“You can get comfortable,” Steve said. “However you want. I’m not going to get mad. I just want you to be comfortable and relaxed.”

Steve turned his attention to the TV and let that wash over him a little bit. He heard the Soldier shifting around.

It took him almost an hour to ask, “Permission requested for removal of weaponry.”

Steve shifted his head up. “Of course! I’m so sorry I didn’t think of that. You can do whatever you want.”

The Soldier took off all his extra guns and knives, though he did slide a few under the mattresses. He hesitated before sitting back down and ended up sitting down next to Steve. The Soldier was clearly nervous about it, but Steve just smiled at him.

“Sometimes it’s nice to have someone nearby. I tend to sleep better that way too,” Steve told him quietly. “I’m probably going to fall asleep soon, but do whatever you need to do, okay? And don’t hesitate to wake me up if you need me for anything.”

The Soldier nodded, but didn’t say anything else. Steve hadn’t expected him to.

* * *

The rest of the mission went smoothly. They didn’t talk much more, but they didn’t really need to. Steve didn’t have anything more to say to the Soldier and it felt like the Soldier didn’t particularly care too much about whether or not they said anything at all.

The real test, however, came when they were reporting back to Pierce.

“Mission Report,” Pierce said.

“Target acquired and eliminated,” the Soldier said.

“Report on Rogers.”

Steve felt his heart stop and tried not to show his nerves. The Soldier clenched his jaw.

“Captain Rogers followed protocol.”

Pierce turned his smile to Steve. “Wonderful to hear. Seems like you’re catching on after all.”

Steve nodded.

“Go check in with the techs for re-calibration and medical evaluation,” Pierce ordered.

“Captain,” Pierce said as Steve was trying to follow the Soldier.

“Sir?” Steve asked, watching the Soldier’s eyes flicker back to him before marching down the hallway.

“We’re going to have to put him back into cryo for a while again,” Pierce said. “It’s important that he’s at optimal condition before our next biggest hurdle.”

Steve frowned.

“There’s a major project that the board is voting on in the upcoming weeks and I need to focus on it,” Pierce told him. “Therefore I can’t have the asset running around with you. I’m the only one who can truly control him.”

“I thought I was doing pretty well,” Steve said quietly.

Pierce nodded. “Yes, but I am the only one to know every code. It’s why I’m always around when he goes on missions.”

“Oh,” Steve said.  

Pierce nodded. “It took me a long time to exert my dominance over him. I can’t risk losing it all now.”

Steve nodded. “Understood.”

“I want you to continue following Agent Rumlow’s orders. I may also send you out for a few errands for me as well, if you think you’ll be up for it.”

Steve nodded. “Of course.”

Pierce grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. “I knew I could count on you, son.”

Steve nodded again. “I’m going to stay with him until he’s put back to sleep.”

“Why?” Pierce frowned.

“I want him to remember me. I want to be the last face he sees when he goes to sleep and the first face he sees when he wakes up,” Steve said. He left out the part where he wanted the Soldier to trust him.

“If you must.”

Steve took that as a dismissal and knew he’d have to work a little bit harder to regain Pierce’s adoration, but for once Steve wasn’t concerned about him. He just wanted to make sure the Soldier was okay.

He found the Soldier sitting on the chair while a tech prodded at his metal arm.

Steve went to stand behind the tech, glaring down at him every time the Soldier’s breath caught.

“This is it for a while,” Steve told him softly as the techs worked around them.

The Soldier just stared at him.

Steve leaned close and whispered to him, “I’m going to try and have a name for you the next time you wake up. I can’t promise to have it, but I’m going to try.”

The Soldier didn’t say anything.

The techs led him away and Steve could only watch helplessly as they herded him into the chamber. Steve gave him a little salute and refused to look away from the Soldier’s face. He watched his eyes blink open and closed as though he was trying to fight sleeping.

Steve remained until the entire team filed out. He wished he could have done more.

* * *

A few days later Steve went to start his research.

Steve sat in front of the computer at the library, trying to figure out where to even start. How do you search for someone who doesn’t exist? How do you start searching for someone who doesn’t exist _anymore_?

He honestly didn’t have a lot of information to go off of. He had what the Soldier himself had given him, “Sergeant and 107th.” The probably wouldn’t get him very far. He also had the small bit of information on the man from the file: Sergeant JB.

Steve wondered if Natasha Romanoff would be able to find anything on this guy. She probably could because she was an expert. But the two of them hadn’t spoken in years—their paths didn’t cross all that often anymore.

But she had left him with a parting gift:  a flash drive that held an encryption code that would block anyone monitoring the hard drive, files, or the general search. It was basically a free pass to look into anything he wanted to.

Of course, she probably hadn’t thought that that he’d end up using it a few years in the future when Steve was seriously trying to dig up information on a man who didn’t exist, who he couldn’t talk about, and who might end up costing him his job because he was going against a direct order from his superior. 

Or maybe she did.

Steve had a strange desire to call her up. But the last he heard of her she had joined the Avengers Initiative.

And if he was entirely honest, Steve didn’t know if he trusted anyone with what he was doing. The Soldier didn’t have many allies and the last thing Steve wanted to do was drag in more people that could potentially make this harder.

Steve plugged in the flash drive and let it work for a few minutes. He’d grabbed a few random books on the army and a few wars, just in case anyone was watching him. He knew that there wasn’t a tail on him from SHIELD and he wasn’t followed here, but that didn’t really matter.

It didn’t stop Steve from tugging down his baseball cap a little more securely. It wasn’t the best disguise, but it was the one that Steve found worked the most. If you threw on a hat and kept your face down, it was almost like being invisible. It was like the entire world knew that you didn’t want to be bothered or talked to and they left you alone.

The little light on the flash drive switched to green and Steve got to work.

He started small:  Sergeant JB 107th.

There were quite a few results, but nothing concrete. Nothing that seemed to match what he was looking for.

Steve added Arnim Zola into the search query bar and waited.

It was an article on a mission that Agent Carter had fought her CO on following through on. Apparently there were a group of soldiers who were captured by a Nazi group and she wanted to stage a rescue mission.

Her CO told her no and that they had a war to win and they couldn’t risk the lives of hundreds of men just to save a few.

Steve froze because he remembered this story. Hell, he’d probably read this story one hundred different ways because Agent Peggy Carter was one of his heroes.

More importantly, he knew how this ended.

Agent Carter staged a coup. She recruited a handful of men who were left behind from the 107th and they snuck away from camp. Thanks to her friendship with Howard Stark—Steve had no reason to believe they were sleeping together and Peggy just didn’t seem like the type of woman who’d be interested in a womanizer like Howard Stark, but that was an argument best left of the history forums—they were able to land just outside the camp where the men were being held.

Agent Carter and her boys were able to sneak in mostly undetected and locate the missing soldiers. They told her that a few people were taken away from something and never heard of again.

 _Sergeant James Barnes_ _was one of those men._

Steve felt his heart stop. Apparently, Sergeant Barnes had volunteered to go with the Nazi men, as long as it kept them from trying to use any of the other men from the 107th.  

Steve continued reading. A man named Jim Morita claimed that their Sergeant was the bravest man he knew and stayed strong long enough for them to all escape. Dugan said that that was what their Sergeant wanted—his men to make it back safely. He is also the one that claimed that they were all on the brink of an escape when Agent Carter arrived.

Steve knew this story like one of his own memories because it was the reason Agent Carter was so famous. Well, famous if you knew where to look. Men still weren’t too thrilled that a woman gained as much notoriety as she did.

After that mission, Agent Carter led a group of soldiers on missions to destroy Nazi factions within their science and research division: HYRDA. A few of the men were asked, but they refused to go without Peggy Carter. They claimed that she had more balls than any of them and knew how to lead. Their Sergeant gave his life for them to be freed and they wanted to fight with her.

They were known as the Howling Commandos.

Steve felt like the entire world was caving in on him because there’s just no way that that Sergeant Barnes could be the Soldier. For starters, that was back during the Second World War and the idea that that man could have been tortured for months and then kept alive for the seventy years made him want to throw up. SHIELD shouldn’t have anything to do with him. They should have just freed him when they discovered him instead of using the Soldier for their side now.

The other being that that Sergeant Barnes was dead. All the reports claimed he had died while under Nazi experimentation.  

 _But no one knows for sure,_ Natasha’s voice flittered through his mind. Her voice was right. They just said that Barnes was taken and _assumed_ dead. No one went to look for him.

Steve felt his heartrate rise because no one went to look for someone who was being tortured? Yes, he very well might have been dead, but they didn’t know that for a fact. He also could have still been alive, still being tortured.

They owed it to him to at least look.

But even if Barnes did survive the torture and was still alive and able to live on for seventy years while only aging a few years, how did he get form the hands of Nazis to SHIELD? And when would he have been in Russian control?

The timeline doesn’t make sense. Russia could have discovered the Nazi base and cleared it out, maybe taking Barnes with them. Maybe they were the ones who trained and brainwashed the Soldier.

If that was true, then how did SHIELD get their hands on him. And when?

 _SHIELD had to have discovered him_ , Steve reasoned with himself. They must have found him abandoned or learned of his existence somehow and gone to retrieve him.

Steve printed copies of everything he found and saved electronic copies to his other flash drive—the one that currently held all the files he could find on the soldier. It was one from SHIELD that was used for personal information. No one was supposed to be able to unlock it and decrypt it so it was extra safe. Of course, SHIELD made it so it made sense that they’d be able to decode it all. Until Steve got to playing around with it and made it impossible to decode because you had to know everything about Peggy Carter’s life, not his own, to access any of it. He figured his information saved to it was pretty safe.

He walked out of the library, carrying one of the fiction books that had been recommended and a movie so it looked like he came here for a reason. He wanted to believe that the paranoia he was feeling was foolish and not necessary, but Steve knew better.

There was no telling what SHIELD was going to do to him if they found out what he currently doing. He’d rather not find out.

* * *

Steve spent the next few weeks trying not to think about what he found out. It wasn’t going to do him any good to be distracted or give Pierce any reason to doubt him.

Besides, what good would it do the Soldier? Barnes?

Steve wasn’t an idiot. He couldn’t just go to the guy and tell him what he found out because it might make matters worse for him. Hell, it might mean Steve would be removed from the Winter Soldier project and that was the last thing that he wanted.

Steve wanted to help the Soldier—Barnes—but he needed to be smart about this.

So he did what he did best: he followed the rules.

Steve went on every mission Pierce gave him without complaint. He arrested a suspected spy without any notice or attention—no one even knew the spy was missing. Steve also did more reconnaissance for the Avengers for Pierce.

He was the one who’d given Pierce the list of names of people they were considering using: Tony Stark, Iron Man; Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow; Clint Barton, Hawkeye; James Rhodes, War Machine.

They were looking into Dr. Bruce Banner, the Hulk, as well as the Ant-Man technology. Steve didn’t really understand what that was, but it gave Pierce some frustration and worry. Next thing Steve had heard about it was that some guy named Scott Lang was arrested for trying to steal some outdated technology that was created in the 80s. Steve didn’t want to put things together, but it was only too obvious what had happened.

SHIELD doesn’t like people who don’t play by the rules. Steve had learned that time and time again, though never through his personal experience until recently.

The training with the Soldier happened once during those weeks, but with more supervision. Steve wasn’t allowed to be alone with the Soldier for fear that Steve would treat him like a fucking person—Oh, the horror. Rumlow was there to be Pierce’s eyes and ears. Honestly, Steve didn’t mind too much. He was able to see exactly what they wanted from him: they just wanted him to be the good little soldier. Steve would comply.

It didn’t hurt that he was able to plan exactly how to get away with what he needed to get away with. He was able to see how the next mission was going to go and Steve could use that to his advantage to plan their escape.

Steve already had the Soldier’s trust because he had been patient. He started small, keeping his word to the Soldier. Steve was there every time the Soldier was taken out of cryo-freeze like he had said a few years ago. Steve never forced him to be locked up or bound. Steve followed him into every fight because he’s promised to always have the Soldier’s back, to always be right behind him.  

It was those little things that Steve knew made the difference.

Rumlow was aggressive and hostile. He demanded the Soldier’s attention and skills. He was mean and Steve could tell that he used violence when the Soldier didn’t respond the way Rumlow wanted him to. It made Steve upset because it wasn’t like the Soldier could defend himself and as far as Rumlow knew, the Soldier didn’t even speak English so he couldn’t even try and offer anything up to Rumlow.

Pierce was worse.

The look on Pierce’s face when he looked at the Soldier was creepy. It was fond and excited and almost lustful in a way that made Steve’s skin crawl. But it wasn’t an attraction, not in the physical sense, but more like he was attracted to the fact that Soldier was beneath him and did everything that he wanted.

Steve hated that look.

So Steve being a bit quieter, much gentler, and actually talking with the Soldier—even when he didn’t get any response—was such a drastic shift compared to Rumlow and Pierce.

Steve went into the fray with the Soldier, every time. Constantly reassuring him that he was following him or going to meet up with him. One mission they had been on a few months ago proved this point to the Soldier.

They had been surrounded by enemy forces and the only way out was to jump off the bridge. The Soldier was perfectly capable of such a feat without the risk of injury, but Steve wasn’t so lucky.

The Soldier hesitated. Steve had tried to smile at him reassuringly before quickly rigging himself up to the post so he could rappel down.

“Go,” Steve urged him. “I’ll be right behind you.”

The Soldier gave a brief nod and then jumped. Steve heard the crunching of metal and knew the Soldier had landed on a car.

Steve had followed him and shot down two people who were trying to take the Soldier down with electric shocks. The Soldier had turned back to him and Steve could have sworn there was amusement in his eyes, but it might have been the light or the smoke or the fact that Steve was so desperate for any sign of personality in the man’s face he was willing to believe anything.

Steve knew, he _knew_ that the Soldier was still a person, regardless of what had been done to him or what he’d been forced to do over the years. But Steve worried that if he broke him free, that there wouldn’t be anything really left there _except_ the Soldier.

At the end of the day, it didn’t matter. Steve was still going to try and free him and he’d do whatever he needed to because the Soldier needed— _deserved_ to be free.

* * *

Pierce had been forced to bring the Soldier into another mission because Rumlow’s team wasn’t able to hand it on their own. So Steve had been called in, given a quick briefing on the mission and what was expected of him, and then they were off to reanimate the Soldier.

It was supposed to be quick and simple. The Soldier was included this time since Rumlow hadn’t been able to retrieve the information he had been sent for.

Unfortunately, this mission went to shit very quickly.

They had everything planned perfectly. But they hadn’t taken into account that some people were so afraid of their knowledge getting into the wrong hands that they made suicide pacts and self-destruct situations.

And Steve was watching that play out right in front of him.

The Soldier had sauntered in to find the person in charge of this research division—something dangerous was all Pierce said, and that was really all Steve needed to know. The rest of the team fought off whoever was on guard patrol for the brief five minutes before the building exploded.

Steve felt himself choke down a scream because the Soldier was in there. The Soldier that Steve had become friends with and been trying to protect and _god damn it!_ Steve hadn’t even had the chance to tell him that his name might be James Barnes.

Steve tore through the last few opposers and burst through the building. He had to get to the Soldier. He had to see if he was still alive. He couldn’t just leave him like the others must have done years ago.

The bunker was mostly rubble at this point, but Steve pushed through. He couldn’t even call out because the Soldier didn’t even fucking know his own name. Not like Pierce would appreciate that either.

“Anybody down here?” Steve called out and prayed that the Soldier would hear his voice and do something, _anything_ to point Steve in his direction. “I’m Steve Rogers from SHIELD and I’m looking for survivors.”

“Steve?”

Steve heard the Soldier’s cracked and hoarse voice. It felt like a shot to the gut and he rushed off to him. He found him, half-under a pillar and his legs trapped.

“Fuck,” Steve said crouching down to him.

The Soldier glanced up at him with wild eyes and Steve felt like he was looking at a terrified child. But the Soldier wasn’t afraid of the pillar or dying; he was afraid of the punishment he’d get for failing his mission.

Steve gently squeezed his shoulder. “I’m going to get you out of here, James, okay?”

The Soldier’s eyes squeezed shut and his breathing turned ragged and Steve could only watch helplessly as he writhed for a minute.

“You need to stop,” Steve commanded, “Otherwise I can’t help get this off you.”

The Soldier stopped instantly and Steve couldn’t find the guilt he’d been hoping to feel. Saving the Soldier took precedence.

He crouched down next to him, putting his hands under the pillar. “If you can help me push with your metal arm, we should be able to prop it up enough for you to pull yourself out.”

A metal hand joined Steve’s and he counted. “One. Two Three.”

They both pushed and pulled because they _had_ to get the pillar off him. Steve wasn’t about to abandon him or let him die down here all alone. The Soldier deserved better than that.

After a few intense seconds, the pillar was pulled up enough that the Solider could maneuver himself out from under it. He knelt on his hands and knees and Steve braced a hand on his back.

“Take a minute,” Steve said. “But we do need to hurry.”

The Soldier stood up, holding his arm towards his chest and Steve helped lead him out of the building. The rest of their STRIKE team was waiting just beyond the ruble, the few hostages already loaded in the van.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Rumlow nearly hissed at him.

“I wasn’t about to abandon him,” Steve told him fiercely. “He’s a part of my team. I don’t leave anyone behind.”

“Get in,” Rumlow said angrily after a tense few seconds. “We’re late.”

Steve nodded and helped the Soldier into the back of their van. Steve helped him sit down and waved off anyone who wanted to strap him in. He knelt in front of him, trying to convey _something_ to the Soldier without words because he didn't have any. He didn't even know exactly what he was hoping for. 

* * *

 

* * *

 

Steve took an awkward seat next to him and tried not to jostle him too much.

Neither of them spoke the entire journey back to their base.

Steve had wanted to say something, _anything_ to the Soldier but every time he opened his mouth, nothing came out. Honestly, he didn’t even really know what it was he was trying to say.

That didn’t stop Steve from being slightly protective of the guy when they got back to base. Pierce was already waiting with a disappointed expression on his face.

“Mission report,” Pierce demanded as soon as the Soldier stumbled out of the van. The Soldier had refused to use Steve’s help this time.  

The Soldier was silent and slightly unsteady on his feet. It was surprising because Steve had never seen him act like he wasn’t in perfect condition.

“Give him a minute, Sir,” Steve said. “He had a rough go and needs medical attention.”

Pierce clenched his jaw but motioned to medical. The team swooped in and hovered over the Soldier as he shuffled to the chair.

Steve watched as they reset his flesh and bone arm, complete with a nice splint. They even did a bit of suturing on his metal arm in the few places it had been cracked. Steve saw the Soldier’s cheek muscle spasm, but he couldn’t be sure if it was in pain or something else.

As soon as the medical team was mostly through, Pierce strode right back up to the Soldier.

“Mission report,” he demanded once again.

Again, the Soldier stared straight ahead, lost somewhere outside this room.

Pierce struck him across the face. “You failed today. Now give me your mission report.”

The Soldier seemed to struggle to come back to himself but didn’t seem like he was able to force his attention back yet.

Pierce pulled his hand back again and Steve snapped. He gripped Pierce’s forearm tightly in his hand and pulled him close.

“With all due respect, _sir,_ the Soldier is in _my_ charge,” Steve said quietly. “Lay a hand on him again and I will break every bone in it.”

“You dare give me orders?” Pierce demanded, but Steve was slightly proud that Pierce looked a little concerned.

“I think it’s about damn time you let me do my job,” Steve said. “You’ve been undermining me this entire time. You’re confusing him. Making him unsure who he’s supposed to respond to.”

“He’s _my_ project.” Pierce looked furious.

“ _Was_ ,” Steve corrected coldly. “You placed me in charge.”

“And if I changed my mind?” Pierce asked.

“I guess we’d find out who he holds closer to heart,” Steve said. “We’re on the same side, Commander Pierce. I’m just telling you to let me do my job. I’ll never be able to prove myself if you’re constantly there to take over.”

Pierce’s jaw clenched and he stared Steve down. “Fine. But if you’re insubordinate again, you will find yourself out of a job.”

“Understood,” Steve said and let him go.

Steve waited until Pierce had taken a few steps back before approaching the Soldier.

“Mission report,” Steve asked him gently.

The Soldier started a short and choppy report in Russian. He remembered the Soldier didn’t speak English unless talking directly with Pierce. Everyone’s attention turned toward Steve to translate.  

“He says that they knew the attack was coming and blew up the building rather than let them get their hands on the intel,” Steve said quietly. Pierce just looked between them, as though Steve had kept some vital piece of information out of the Soldier’s report. That was ridiculous because Pierce knew Russian and heard what the Soldier had said.  

“The Soldier was inside the building when it went up,” Steve explained to him. “I was able to get him out, but everything else was completely destroyed.”

Pierce frowned. “I suppose we’ll just have to come up with an alternative plan.”

“Wipe him and prep him for cryo,” Pierce said. Steve chose not to argue this point; he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to order those things done to the Soldier.

Pierce walked out of the room to rejoin Rumlow.

“James,” the Soldier said softly, staring at Steve.

Steve moved closer and whispered, “That’s the only name I could find. Is it yours?”

The Soldier frowned. “I don’t know.”

Steve sighed. “It’s okay. We’ll talk about it next time.”

The Soldier stared at him like he was an idiot. Maybe he was.

“I’ll hold onto it for you,” Steve said. “I won’t let you forget.”

The Soldier nodded and then swallowed, noticing the techs coming closer.

“Is the wipe necessary?” Steve asked them. “I thought that was only done when he’s erratic.”

The nearest tech shrugged. “SOP is wipe then freeze.”

Steve wanted to punch him.

The Soldier stared at him, his eyes wide and Steve wished he could do something for him.

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” Steve promised. “Just like always.”

It was the only thing he could give him.

Like every other time, Steve waited until the Soldier was fully under before going back to Pierce and Rumlow. They were apparently working on trying to figure out a new plan for getting the information they needed.

“Captain Rogers,” Pierce said. “You’re to leave with Agent Rumlow in 48 hours to retrieve the information.”

“No Soldier?” Steve asked.

“No. He’s got to be in stasis for a little while,” Pierce said.

“Why?”

“If he’s out of cryo for too long, he becomes erratic and difficult. It’s just better if we avoid that problem. Don’t you agree?” Pierce watched him curiously. Steve knew he was lying.

“What’s the longest he’s ever been out of cryo for?” Steve asked him.

“The Average is five days,” Pierce told him. “While I was his handler, he was up to nine days.”

Steve nodded. “All right. What’s the plan?”

Rumlow detailed it—standard drop in and sneak it in the night. No big group, no guns blaring. Just a stealth attack.

Simple.

* * *

It was a few months later before Steve had a chance to talk to the Soldier again. Pierce hadn’t wanted him deployed again until it was necessary, though Steve still wasn’t given any real explanation as to what that reason was.

He tried not to think about it too much. He had to focus on the Soldier and try to find a way to break though. Steve had spent the months apart from the Soldier learning and memorizing everything regarding his handler training. Once they left this base, it would be up to Steve to make sure he was safe, healthy, and able to function.

It was clear that they had programmed him to be as dependent on them as they could. He relied on them for substances—it wasn’t food. It was an intravenous fluid and occasionally a nutritional type of shake. Steve had asked where they kept the information and one of the techs had been more than happy to suggest she tell him over dinner. Steve had politely declined—it didn’t feel right to use this woman any more than absolutely necessary. She’d been upset but told him that everything they had on the Soldier’s metabolism, healing rates, nutritional intake, literally _everything_ that dealt with the handling and care of the Solider was in the file in the Kara Bradley’s office.

The safe that was entirely impenetrable, even if Steve had had a moment to break in.

He did, however, start to steal as much as he could in order to start preparing for their future escape. Whenever he went to the medical bay, he’d grab some gauze or Band-Aids. He’d taken a few morphine injections and other miscellaneous drugs he could find. They always had a pack ready to go whenever they brought out the Soldier and tended to toss anything they didn’t use because they didn’t want to risk anyone contaminating it. Smart planning on their part and it allowed Steve the opportunity to dig through a bit of their recent trash—since they have to plan on disposing all of it separately so they don’t raise too many questions.

It was, at the end of the day, better than nothing.

He was even able to steal a few of those shakes and an extra two bags of the fluid they give the Soldier as well. It worked out since there was a new person who had been training on creating what they needed. He’d been fired and Steve had been able to slip in and take what he could grab and Pierce assumed the guy had either stolen it or just never even bothered getting it out to use it.

Either way, no one looked twice at Steve.

He’d even started purchasing some clothes for the Soldier and other necessary items that the Soldier would not understand or really care about.

Steve’s plan was to have their bags ready to go at any moment, meaning they could run as soon as the coast was clear. He had a bag packed for the Solider, his own bag, as well as a miscellaneous bag filled with medical supplies and other things they would need to survive in hiding—including light weapons.

Ideally, they’d be able to make a run for it when they both had their tactical gear on, but Steve wasn’t going to be picky about it.

So after a few months of careful planning, the Soldier was once again awakened, though meant to go with Rumlow as back-up. Steve was meant to give the order.

He watched as they roused him and followed their procedure, noticing the way the Soldier’s eyes fell to him for the smallest second. Steve tried to give him a reassuring smile, but wasn’t sure if it had worked.

“Do you remember what we talked about last time?” Steve asked him quietly between phases.

The Soldier shook his head.

“I tried to find out a name for you,” Steve told him.

The Soldier stared at him. “The asset doesn’t have a name. It is a weapon.”

Steve’s heart broke. He’d failed him in the only thing he said he’d do. He promised that he wouldn’t let the Soldier forget his name, or the name that Steve had found, but he had. There wasn’t even time for them to talk about it at all.

Steve had to ready both him and Rumlow for their mission.

The Soldier watched him with passive eyes and didn’t interrupt at all.

Steve tried not to dwell on it the entire time they were gone, but it was no luck. He did. He just kept thinking of the Soldier trying so hard to hold onto that memory and it slipping through his fingers once again.

But it didn’t stop him from trying once the Soldier returned from his mission.

“The name I found was James,” Steve said quietly.

“The Asset is the fist of HYDRA. It is a ghost. A weapon. It has no name.”

Steve could only watch as the man walked away from him as if he hadn’t just destroyed his entire world. _HYDRA’s_ weapon. The Soldier was HYDRA’s weapon; not SHIELD’s.

He wanted to be happy that SHIELD hadn’t authorized anything of this type, but that meant HYDRA was involved somehow. That HYDRA was around enough for him to still believe that he was HYDRA.

Unless they hadn’t ever left.

The Soldier’s voice – _HYDRA_ —kept circling around Steve’s brain as they rode back to base, him and Rumlow. What did this mean? Was it simply an error in judgment on the Soldier’s part, a final remnant of the life he had lived that SHIELD had never thought to correct?

Or was the truth more obvious:  SHIELD and HYDRA were the same thing.

“You okay over there, Cap?” Rumlow asked quietly. “You seem wired.”

“Just thinking,” Steve said, knowing that he couldn’t trust a single person until he figured out what the hell is going on.

“I know you had that rough mission a few weeks ago,” Rumlow said. “It’s natural to be upset but casualties happen during times of war. It’s a sad truth that no one wants to talk about it.”

“The problem is,” Steve said. “I’m not sure what war we’re fighting anymore.”

That was enough of an admission to get Rumlow to talk a little without making it seem like Steve was aware of what was going on.

Rumlow turned to glance at him.

“I mean, back in the Army,” Steve said. “It was clear what we were doing and how we were doing it. Now it’s just so much sneaking around and trying to piece the picture together based on the fragments we’re given, you know? It was just easier back in the Army.”

Rumlow nodded. “I hear that. But this is important work too. Just because it’s not always clear what we’re doing, we know that we’re saving the people time and time again. It’s our job to make sure the world is safe and secure.”

“And yeah, sometimes that takes sacrifice and shit, but it’s what we have to do,” Rumlow finished. “You’re not quitting on me, are you?”

Steve laughed. “Don’t know what I would do with myself if I wasn’t working here.” Another truth.

“Just take a weekend off and you’ll feel right as rain,” Rumlow said as they pulled into the base.

“Yeah,” Steve said. “You’re right.”

* * *

Steve hadn’t meant to show up at the VA on Saturday morning, but there he was, walking into the building and trying to find Sam.

There was something calming about him and it drew Steve to him. It was like he held all the answers to everything that Steve needed answers for. That was ridiculous because Sam _couldn’t_ have the answers since he didn’t work for SHIELD or HYDRA or whatever the hell was happening but he would have some sort of answer for Steve.

An answer to what were you supposed to do if you found out you’re not exactly doing the noble work you had originally thought you were.

A door opened a bit further up the hallway and Steve watched a few people begin to trickle out. Steve made his way over there and caught a glimpse of Sam inside, talking with a young woman. He glanced up, saw Steve, and made a “hang out a second” gesture. Steve nodded and bowed out of the room.

“Here for a race around the block?” Sam asked as he leaned against the wall by Steve.

Steve laughed and let some of the tension out. “No. It’s no fun when you know you’re going to win.”

“That’s how it is?” Sam asked.

“That’s how it is.”

Sam huffed a laugh and shook his head.

“I did have a reason for showing up here,” Steve said after a minute.

“There’s more group sessions later this afternoon if you’re interested,” Sam told him gently.

“That’s not…I’m not here for therapy.”

“Nothing wrong with it if you were,” Sam said. “A lot of folks who are leaving the war zone need a little support and a safe area to talk about what they’re feeling and what they’ve experienced.”

“I know, but…I’m here for personal reasons.”

Sam cocked an eyebrow and waited for Steve to continue.

“There’s a problem at my work,” Steve said.

“Okay.”

“For so long I knew what was the right thing to do,” Steve said. “I knew what I was fighting for and who I was fighting against. It made sense and I _understood_ it.”

“But now…?” Sam prompted after a hesitation.

“Now I’m not sure how to tell the good guys from the bad guys.”

“It’s not as simple as good and bad, Steve.”

Steve just tucked his hands into his pockets and stared at the ground.

“As much as we’d like to believe there’s good and bad in the world, that everything’s black and white, it’s not that simple. Everyone’s got some good and some bad, the degrees are varying. And sometimes, to do a lot of good, you have to do a little bad,” Sam said gently.

“Like the war.”

Sam nodded. “I don’t think there’s many soldiers who wanted to go out and kill people, but they knew that this was what was expected of them, commanded of them, and what would help end this war before more things happened.”

“But what if the war isn’t worth fighting?” Steve asked. He shook his head. “That’s not what I wanted to say. What if what you’re fighting for, isn’t what you thought?”

Sam tilted his head. “Are you talking about the actual war? That could be a very long discussion of what’s right about it and what’s not.”

Steve shook his head. “No. That war was simple, at least for me. The longer we’re over there the less I believe in what we were told we were doing and the more I think we should have never gone in the first place. But I still fought for my country, with my soldiers, and knew that I was helping with something—the end of the war was what I hoped.

“But I _knew_ what I was doing and what I was doing it for, even if I didn’t always like it.”

Sam nodded but didn’t say anything more.

“What if,” Steve paused and swallowed. “What if I’m the bad guy?”

“Steve.”

“No, I.” Steve sighed. “I guess I’m just struggling because I’m not sure what I’m fighting for anymore.”

“We like to make this world simple; we’re good and they’re bad which is why we fight them. Hell, that’s basically the point of the war right now.” Sam paused. “But like I said, it’s not that simple. Just because you’ve had to do some bad things doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you human. And the fact that you are so concerned over that is a big reason why you are such a good man.”

Steve took a deep breath. “What do I do now?”

Sam shook his head. “I can’t tell you what to do. It’s your life, Steve; you’re going to have to make a choice. I know it’s hard for an army drone like you who’s used to following orders, but now’s the time to follow your own orders.”

“I don’t know if I know how.”

“You do,” Sam assured him. “You’re here right now. You know what you want to do or at least what you think you want to do. What you really want is someone to give you orders so you don’t have to think about it. I’m not going to do that for you.

“What I am going to do,” Sam continued. “Is tell you that you need to do what feels right to you. If working where you work now doesn’t feel right, then leave it.”

“What would I do if I left?”

“Whatever you want,” Sam said. “There’s so much out there to try and explore. What makes you happy?”

Steve was quiet for a very long time. “I don’t know.”

Sam smiled at him, but it was sad. “Then maybe that’s the first thing you should try and figure out. Are you happy in your job?”

“We’re trying to do good work,” Steve defended.

“That’s now what I asked.”

Steve hung his head. “No. I’m not. I’m exhausted.”

“Then I think you have your answer,” Sam said quietly.

“I can’t leave yet though. I have a mission that I need to finish,” Steve argued, thinking of the Solider and how Steve would not, _could_ not, abandon him.

“Then finish it,” Sam said. “And make your decision after there’s nothing tying you to this job.”

Steve could only nod and then followed Sam’s lead to the nearby coffee shop for something to drink and some time to think.

* * *

Honestly, it didn’t take Steve long to get back to his planning and figuring out his next step.

Ultimately, he couldn’t help but wonder if this new information changed anything. He had always been planning on breaking the Soldier out of there because what they were doing to him was inhumane and horrendous. Finding out it was actually HYDRA potentially behind and not SHIELD actually made it a little bit easier to swallow, to know that he wasn’t working for a company that was literally using a human as a weapon.

It did lead him into a few days of depression and despair, thinking that he’d been working for the enemy for years and hadn’t known about it—but he didn’t have time to get too lost there. The Soldier needed him and Steve needed to be ready.

What he’d come to realize was that all this new information did was bump up his timetable. He couldn’t stomach working for these Nazis for another second, but he would continue until the Soldier was thawed again—hopefully for the final time.

That meant that Steve had a lot of work to do before then. He had to plan their escape route, where they were going to lie low for a while, how they were going to escape.

It was tricky; Steve had always been more of the type to just barge in and hope for the best and see where that got him. This was going to require everything that he’d ever learned, including his handler experience for the Winter Soldier.

He would need to send the Soldier on one last mission:  stealing all the information on himself that was currently locked in a safe. The Soldier had been trained to be the best operative there was. As much as it pained Steve to use him that way, they had no other choice if they wanted to be prepared to be on their own.

So Steve would give the Soldier his mission and as soon as they had the files, they would run.

He tried not to worry too much about whether or not the Soldier actually wanted to leave because Steve wasn’t sure he should give him that option. Obviously later, once he could see there were other ways to live, Steve would let him live how he wanted to, but he wouldn’t let him go back to HYDRA or SHIELD or wherever the hell this was right now.

The Soldier deserved better than that. He’d rather the Soldier hate him than live with the knowledge that he was right back where they started.

Steve already had their bags packed, so that was one less thing he had to worry about.

He planned their route, remembered Natasha’s words from years ago, “The best way to run away is to walk.”

Steve took that to heart as he began planning their escape, but not in too much detail. It would be better to simply know where some places were and just follow his gut about where to go. He was terrified that if he’d planned it out, they would know.

Steve didn’t bother looking up any safe-houses because they wouldn’t be safe at all. Instead, he took out a lot of cash from his bank account and found his emergency credit card. It wasn’t even under his real name.

That was one of the only espionage things he’d done, another one of Natasha’s suggestions. Steve wondered after her briefly, remembering how much he couldn’t believe that she was so paranoid.

_Look at how the tables have turned now, Natasha._

He’d have to do something else later, but he wouldn’t worry about that right now. He had enough to get them out of the city and somewhat off SHIELD-HYDRA’s radar and that was all he could do for the moment.

Now he just had to wait until the Soldier was taken out again.

* * *

Steve stood to the side, watching as they brought the Soldier back to life in front of him. He wondered, not for the first time, how the people around him could be so careless about the fact they were dealing with an actual human person.

Though it was obvious that rarely any of them really thought of the Soldier as a person. He was a weapon, nothing more. Their only job was to make sure It could function.

This would be the last time. Steve was going to leave with the Soldier in the next few days, before the end of their mission. If all went according to plan, Steve and the Soldier would be safely in hiding before Pierce and Rumlow even knew they were gone.

It had to go according to plan because there was nothing else Steve could think to do.

They had been given an execution mission:  Nick Fury.

Apparently Pierce had decided that Steve could be trusted with this information and spouted some things about how Fury was dirty and using his clearance for nefarious purposes. He even cited a mission from a few months ago where Steve’s team went to rescue Jasper Sitwell from a pirate takeover in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Pierce said that Fury hired the pirates to get access to the files on board that ship.

According to Pierce, Fury was dirty and had turned into the very thing they had started this company to fight against.

Steve knew that, if he hadn’t figured out that Pierce was the new head of HYDRA, he would have believed Pierce without a second thought. That was exactly the type of thing Fury would do and _had_ done in the past. Fury believed that the ends justified the means and that it was okay to think that way. Not to mention he never put any faith or trust in anyone on his team which made it impossible to actually work as a team.

Steve did not agree—he could not agree—that deceit was the only way. Turned out the joke was on him.

“You’ve got to keep a close eye on him,” Pierce had told Steve before Steve arrived at the facility. “It’s unusual for him to be out of cryo so long. But this is an important mission and we need to make sure that everything is handled appropriately.”

“Yes sir,” Steve said, his resolve strengthening with every breath.

“You are the only one who knows the true mission you’re being sent out on,” Pierce said softly. “It is imperative that you and the Asset succeed without any knowing it was us behind it.”

Steve remained quiet, waiting for Pierce’s orders.

“You will be out for two weeks,” Pierce said. “You will have one week to fulfill the mission. Then a second week to lay low to keep the cover story of heading to Russia for a reconnaissance mission that will ultimately fail and lead nowhere.

“Is that understood?”

“Yes sir,” Steve said.

Pierce studied him for another moment before nodding his head once. “Dismissed, Captain.”

Steve replayed that conversation over and over in his head during his entire journey out there. They had two weeks before they would truly be missed. One week to make the attempt on Fury’s life and another to escape.

If Steve could plan it out, they could have the files and the confirmation of Fury’s death within the next few days. That would give them an entire week as a head start.

The Soldier’s eyes blinked open and found Steve almost immediately, just as they had for the past couple years. Steve nodded to him and gave him a half smile before he was led away to complete the reanimation process.

This was it. He could only put his faith in himself, the Soldier, and the power they had together.

* * *

The Soldier sat stiffly next to Steve as they drove the car to their safe house. It had been a quiet ride and Steve had to wait until he knew for certain they were alone before he could talk to the man, which meant he would have to wait until they arrived at the safe house, swept for bugs, and cleared a room to talk. Then Steve could tell him the plan.

The Soldier kept glancing over at him and Steve wished he could give him something, some form of comfort or reassurance but there wasn’t anything Steve could do. Not while knowing that there had to be at least one audio feed being transmitted from this car. He couldn’t risk his plan falling to ruin before things even got going.

It took almost an hour to get to the safe house outside the city Steve and the Soldier would be staying at. Steve led the Soldier inside and declared, “I say let’s rest up tonight and we can come up with our plan tomorrow.”

The Soldier didn’t respond verbally but nodded and started to make his way toward the small kitchen table. Steve grabbed his wrist gently and shook his head. The Soldier’s pulse thrummed under Steve’s fingers; he wanted to soothe that.

Steve pulled out a note from his pocket with the word _Bugs?_ written on it in both English and Russian. He slipped it to the Soldier.

The Soldier read it and nodded once.

Steve sighed and took the note back and wrote _Can you clear one room where we can talk without them listening?_ He hoped that Soldier could read English since his written Russian wasn’t good enough yet to be fluent and he didn’t have the ability to write a sentence out without his dictionary.

The Soldier nodded again and dropped his bag. He took to prowling around the house, looking for all intents and purposes, like he was doing a perimeter check like he usually did.

Steve let him and went to drop his bag on the kitchen counter and dug around the cabinets for something to eat. It was mostly non-perishable stuff, so Steve made a can of soup. He began heating it up over the stove and waited for the Soldier to return.

Steve was nearly finishing his bowl of soup by the time the Soldier returned to him. “Did you want any soup? There’s a little left yet.”

The Soldier shook his head. He dropped a piece of paper in front of Steve as he walked around the table to sit down. 

_All rooms, audio feed only. Attic is cleared._

Steve smiled as he read the note. “I’m gonna clean up, drop my stuff off in my room, and check out the rest of the house. Call me if you need anything.”

He held up an open hand to signify five minutes and pointed up. The Soldier nodded again and Steve couldn’t help but smile. They really did make a great team. And he couldn’t help but feel like things were going according to his plan.

He dropped his bag off in the master bedroom that had a bathroom attached.

Steve didn’t spend too much time in that room before walking out and opening the other doors in the hallway. There were two other bedrooms, another bathroom, and a large closet. The small staircase at the end of the hall led to the attic. Steve took each step as he would walk normally, a pen out to mark the stairs that creaked or groaned so he would remember to avoid them next time. He didn’t want to have to worry about the people listening wondering why they were constantly going up to the attic. He wanted them to think that they didn’t even care about the attic after that cursory look through the house.

The Soldier was already standing in the attic, his stance prepped and standing at attention. Steve hated it.

“At ease,” he said softly. “You don’t need to do that around me. We’re equals, remember?”

The Soldier tilted his head but relaxed his stance.

“I’m sorry if I seem on edge,” Steve started, “I just didn’t want them to know that you and I were close. I worried that they would take me off your team if they knew.”

The Soldier nodded. “Might have.”

“I figured. Are you doing okay though?” Steve asked.

The Soldier nodded.

“Okay. Good.” Steve swallowed. “I have a mission for you, a favor, and I need your advice on something.”

“Advice?”

“Yeah, like, I want to know what to do about something and I think you’d be able to help me,” Steve explained. “I need to get a message to someone in secret but they are being watched and I can’t do anything out in the open. Anything leaving from here, physically or electronically, will be monitored. Do you know of anything I can use?”

The Soldier thought for a moment. He tipped his head back and a piece of hair fall across his face. It covered one of the Soldier’s eyes and Steve found himself wanting to reach out and tuck it back behind the Soldier’s ear. 

“The person know Morse code?” The Soldier asked, bringing Steve back to the issue at hand.

Steve nodded. “Yeah. But I don’t know how to get anything to her that way. People will notice if I drop off a letter with random dashes and dots on it.”

“Press them onto paper so they’re felt.”

Steve stared at him. “Does that work?”

The Soldier nodded. “We used that all the time during the Cold War.”

Steve’s eyes bugged because he kept forgetting that the Solider really had been alive for nearly 80 years at least. He schooled his features and asked, “So if I were to press them into a paper, I could then write a note on it and give it to her that way?”

The Soldier nodded.

“Okay. That could work. I’d need to find paper first.”

“Use flowers,” The Soldier said. “They’re often overlooked.”

Steve smiled at him. “That’s a great idea. I’ll buy some of those little cards that come with flowers to fill out. Then I’ll be able to just drop out the card I had already filled out at the flower shop. Though I might need to use Sam for that part.”

“That’s advice?” The Soldier asked.

Steve nodded. “Yeah. You just gave me advice. Thank you.”

The Soldier studied him.

“Okay, now for the trickier bits. I need a favor from you.” Steve anticipated the Soldier’s question and quickly added, “I need help from you now and I’ll repay you at some point in the future when you need my help too.”

The Soldier nodded.

“Can you sneak into facility where they held you at undetected?” Steve asked.

The Soldier nodded, but looked puzzled about it.

“I need to you to sneak into Kara Bradley’s office. She’s the one that’s normally in charge. Taller, dark hair, and always holding the clipboard?” Steve asked.

The Soldier nodded but his eyes were still troubled.

“I need you to sneak into her office in order to break into her safe. We need all the files she keeps in it,” Steve finished explaining.

“Why?” The Soldier asked before clenching his jaw, clearly expecting repercussions.

“That’s a fair question,” Steve assured him. “Those files are all on you and how they treat you. It details everything they feed you and put in your system and every procedure you’ve ever had.”

The Soldier breathed out through his nose, making a strange whistle sound. 

“Do you trust me?” Steve asked, unable to tell him the entire plan just in case they capture him or figure things out.

The Soldier nodded.

“Then know that I am asking you to do this for a good reason. I don’t want to tell you in case we get caught. This way, it’s only on me and you’ll be able to remain relatively free from blame. Is that okay?”

The Soldier stared at him.

“I will tell you everything you want to know after we complete the mission, deal?” Steve asked. “After we do that, then we need those files.”

“Okay. Mission.”

Steve nodded. “It’s a botched assassination. We’ll need to shoot the target in the right spot to look serious and be serious while not killing him instantly. He needs to survive because there are very bad people who need to think he’s dead.

“Do you think you could do that?”

The Soldier nodded. “Affirmative.”

“Okay. I’m going to go out tomorrow and sort of scope things out and we’ll come up with a plan together tomorrow night.” Steve sighed.

“Agreed.” The Soldier lifted his mouth in a parody of a smile, or what Steve assumed was a smile. The Soldier quickly turned on his heel and walked down the attic stairs, expertly missing every one that creaked.

Steve ran a hand through his hair. It was going to take a lot of work to get through the next week. He could only take things one at a time and hope for the best.

* * *

Steve stood in front of a small diner, a hat pulled low over his head and keeping his head down. He knew that Pierce wouldn’t put a tail on him because that would just add to the number of people who knew what Pierce was up to. Steve wouldn’t put it past Pierce to be monitoring the security feeds and watching in case Steve stepped out of line.

He had started his morning with a run and then returned home to change quickly and then took off again, in the guise of getting something to eat. The Soldier had watched him go with a look that betrayed nothing and Steve felt guilty for leaving him behind.

It was necessary, Steve _knew_ that. But it didn’t stop him from feeling horrible that he was out here while the Soldier was stuck in lock-down. Once this was all over, Steve was going to take him on a vacation wherever he wanted to go. He would make sure the Soldier knew that he wouldn’t be locked up again, not while Steve was around anyways.

Steve eventually found his way to a grocery store. He bought a newspaper and a slew of flower cards, knowing he’d rather have a few on hand in case he needed to use this method again.

Steve went to sit in a booth in the back, one side hidden from the outside viewers from a wall but a window there so he could look out of if he wanted and see the people crossing the street. It seemed like a strategical place to sit if anyone happened to notice him. Not to mention, he had a clear view of the door.

He took out a pen and started filling in the crossword puzzle as he waited for a waitress to come over.

Steve kept up the appearance of filling out the crossword as he ordered a coffee and omelet. On a whim, he asked for two pieces of apple pie to go as well. He figured it would be some sort of peace offering for the Soldier when he went home; an ‘I’m sorry I left without you but I brought you a present/bribe for it’ piece of pie.

Steve waited until after the waitress dropped off his food before carefully sliding the little card out and holding it in front of him. He had been thinking of what he needed and wanted to write for the entire morning and had finally figured it out. Carefully, he pressed his message into the card, making sure to remember it was going to be read in the opposite direction—Hill would figure that out.

_Fury’s targeted. Thursday. Must appear dead. No data. O/C CSR_

It was all that would fit and was to the point. Maria would know that Steve was sending it and would be out of contact.

It would have to be enough.

He clicked his pen and filled out the front of the card in ink: _Nice to catch up. Hopefully we can do it again sometime._

He didn’t bother to put a name or fill out an initial or anything like that. It didn’t matter.

A bell tinkled above the door and Steve caught Sam walking into the little diner and tried not to look eager. He packed up his stuff and carefully folded the paper with his note to Sam and the other card inside. Dropping a tip on his table and grabbed his little paper bag with the pies in it, Steve got up and walked to Sam’s place at the counter.

“I’m done with my paper, would you like it?” Steve asked.

Sam’s eyes narrowed at him, but he didn’t say anything to blow Steve’s cover. “Sure. Thanks, man.”

Sam took the paper and carefully tucked it in his bag. Steve had no doubt that Sam would follow the instructions he laid out and not balk. He didn’t want to involve Sam, but he couldn’t get the flowers himself, unless he went online and then he’d have no way to get the message to Maria. It was only flowers after all, and Sam was trustworthy and would understand that Steve’s in a tough spot.

Steve walked out of the diner, his cap pulled low again and made his way back to the safe house. The Soldier was still waiting for him.

* * *

After setting up the pieces for the fallout, Steve turned his attention to the actual hit on Nick Fury. It would have to be quiet, something that wouldn’t cause too much chaos and noise—people might start to notice something’s up and Steve needed Pierce to remain oblivious to his plans.

The Soldier had been ready with a plan and had scoffed when Steve asked if he’d be able to take a shot through a wall from an opposite building. At least, on anyone else Steve would have assumed they were laughing; it was always hard to tell with the Soldier.

Steve’s plan was rather simple. He’d lie in wait for Fury to return home. He’d give him the courtesy of telling him up front what was happening and who was behind it, as well as the fact that Maria was already aware of the situation and planning a contingency plan.

Fury would still have to be shot, but only because someone would have to come running at some point and check on him—there’s no way there wasn’t at least one agent there lying in wait for any threat against their commander. The trick was going to be Steve getting out of there before the shot and without anyone else noticing him.

The Soldier had suggested using the fire escape outside Fury’s neighbor’s window and climbing down to the street and getting to the car.

The Soldier assumed that they’d have three minutes and 45 seconds from the time of the shot before the agent assigned to Fury would burst through the door and try and make a visual on the shooter.

They had a plan. They could pull this off.

* * *

Of course, Steve didn’t account for Fury. Fury was always a bit of a wild card and it was nearly impossible to tell what he was actually thinking at any given moment. It should have been rather easy, but it wasn’t. It was very difficult because the man was incapable of being honest.

Granted, the guy’s best friend and business partner did just order him killed, but Steve still thought the guy was a bit too paranoid to be trusted. A paranoid person would do anything to either prove themselves right or keep themselves safe; Steve had learned that during his long years overseas.

Fury had been surprised to see Steve but that didn’t stop him from immediately putting a finger to his lips and gesturing to the kitchen counter—the only area completely hidden from the windows.

Steve nodded and went to lean against the counter as Fury put on some music, even going so far as to sing along for a minute or two.

Fury moved over to where Steve was waiting. “Surprised to see you here.”

“You’re being targeted.” Steve didn’t have time for small talk. They were on a very tight schedule.

“I always am.”

“By your business partners?” Steve questioned. He felt smug that he could wipe that superior look off of Fury’s face. The smugness lasted for about a second because Fury’s face dropped briefly into shock and Steve felt like he’d both punched Fury and been punched in the gut himself. 

“Pierce?”

Steve nodded.

Fury sighed. “I knew something was up. Just didn’t think he’d be behind it.”

“You didn’t?” Steve asked.

“I guess I’d hoped,” Fury admitted.

“But you knew something?”

Fury nodded.

Steve cut to the chase. “I don’t have much time. You’re about to be shot. Don’t worry, he’s not going to kill you.”

Fury’s eye widened. “That’s not very comforting.”

Steve ignored him. “They have to believe that you’re dead. Otherwise they’ll keep coming after you. Once you’re ‘dead’ you can dig around from there and find out how to bring the network down.”

“This is your plan?” Fury asked.

Steve nodded. “Maria Hill’s waiting for the call and will take care of everything.”

“All right. You gonna shoot me?” Fury asked.

Steve shook his head. “No. My guy is.”

“You’ve got a guy?” Fury asked, a strange smile on his mouth.

Steve nodded. “Yeah.”

Fury laughed a little and Steve felt his hackles rise. He clenched his jaw to keep from saying anything.

“Why’d you warn me?” Fury asked.

“It was the right thing to do.”

Fury nodded and reached into his pocket. Steve braced for the shot, but it never came. Fury held out a drive.

“What’s that?” Steve asked.

“Found these files on that ship from months ago. Files that I authorized—apparently—yet can’t access,” Fury said with a frown.

“Why trust me with this?” Steve asked.

“Because it appears that only person I can trust is the only person who refuses to trust me,” Fury said.

“Trust is a two-way street, Fury,” Steve told him. “You can’t demand trust when you refuse to give it.”

“This is me trying,” Fury said, shaking the drive a little. “Accept the olive branch.”

Steve took it and carefully put it in his pocket. “Take care.”

“You too,” Fury said. “Hopefully we’ll see each other again.”

Steve nodded and walked to the window, quickly ducking out and toward the fire escape. The Soldier was taking care of any CCTV footage and cameras facing his direction. Steve landed on the ground, glancing up toward the roof and gave a small salute to the lone figure on the roof.

Steve was already getting into the car when he heard the gunshot.

* * *

The Soldier didn’t have any problems pulling off the hit on Fury. He had shimmied down the side of the building, using his metal hand as leverage, and quickly hopped into the car with Steve. They had left the scene of the crime exactly one minute and 39 seconds after the shot and no one had seen them.

Steve’s plan had been successful. He knew that Maria wouldn’t let Fury die and would already have a plan in place for this night, just waiting for the frantic call the unlucky agent assigned to Fury that night would make.

Fury was going to be fine; Maria was going to take care of that.

Steve had to focus now on getting access to the files. The Soldier could obviously get inside and take the files, but would he be caught?

The odds were against them with that one. Everyone in that facility was going to be looking for the Soldier and knew who he was. It just didn’t seem feasible that the Soldier would be able to get in and more importantly _out_ without being captured or worse.

But he didn’t seem to mind those odds. Steve wasn’t about to take that risk, at least not force him inside alone.

The plan Steve wanted to have was that the Soldier was going to go in with Steve as back-up and get the files. That way Steve was there if anything were to happen and he wouldn’t feel guilty forcing the Soldier in by himself.

Of course, the Soldier had flat out refused—and Steve wasn’t about to order him—so Steve was waiting outside for him. Around the corner and out of sight.

He had to be okay. He was going to be okay. Everything depended on him being okay.

The Soldier appeared in Steve’s rear-view mirror and Steve let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t appear injured or anything as he ambled up to the car, the stark white lab coat nearly reflecting sunlight.

The Soldier slid into the car, his hands in fists as he stared straight ahead. “Drive.”

Steve nodded and they drove away from the place that had housed the Soldier for so many years.

The hard part was yet to come:  Steve still had to actually read those files. He had known, had _seen_ that they had been needlessly cruel and inhumane towards the Soldier during just the few years he’d been a part of the program.

Of course, that was nothing compared to the treatment of the Soldier from decades ago.

The stuff they did to him now was _gentle_ compared to the shit they used to do to him.

Steve had to shove the files away and press his hands to his eyes as if he could burn the images out of his brain. “Do you remember any of this?”

The Soldier shook his head. “Not usually.”

“But sometimes?” Steve asked. The Soldier studied him carefully and Steve tried not to cave under the pressure.

One nod from the Soldier.

“They don’t know that, do they?” Steve asked.

A shake of the head.

“What you went through,” Steve trailed off. How was he supposed to finish that sentence? What words could he say that would make things all right?

“I’m not taking you back to them,” Steve told him suddenly, fiercely.

The Soldier’s eyes widened and he sucked in a breath.

“You don’t deserve this treatment,” Steve said. “You’ve done enough and deserve the chance to live. So we’re running away.”

“Running away,” the Soldier said quietly.

Steve nodded. “Yes. We’ll make a break for it and get off their radar. Fury and his team will take them down eventually and then you’ll be safe. I’ll help you get a life started somewhere where they can’t hurt you or force you back.”

“There’s fail-safes,” the Soldier said. “In my head. To stop that.”

Steve shook his head and clenched his hands to keep from reaching out to grab the Soldier. “We’ll fight it. We’ll fight _them_. I’m not letting you go back to that place.”

The Soldier let out a breath. “It might not work.”

Steve shrugged. “There’s a chance it might.”

The Soldier looked at him.

“I’m not going to force you or order you,” Steve said. “But you can’t expect me to willingly take you back to them, knowing how they treat you and how they’re going to continue to treat you.”

“It didn’t stop you before,” the Soldier said softly.

“I hated it. Every time,” Steve assured him. “But I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have a plan.”

“You do now?”

Steve nodded again. “Yes. I’ve been collecting supplies for months. I’ve had bags packed, ready to go, for weeks. We are leaving tomorrow, if you’re ready.”

The Soldier looked at him again. It wasn’t judging or calculating; it was astonishment. The Soldier nodded. “Yes.”

Steve smiled. “There’s just one more thing I have to do.”

* * *

Steve gripped the flowers tightly in his hands, using them to shield his face just slightly from the cameras.

Steve wasn’t going to be here and he needed to make sure that Maria and her team would have enough information to take down Pierce’s organization. He was giving them all the information he had on it to help them out.

It still wasn’t a lot, but it was more than they had currently. Besides, Maria had numerous agents at her disposal and would be able to gain more access. Maybe they wouldn’t even want any more information. Maybe they’ll just run in and destroy it all.

Either way it didn’t matter to Steve so long as they took it down. He’d honestly prefer if they burned everything to the ground, but he doubted Fury would let that happen.

He had been prepared to leave as soon as the Soldier had returned with the files, but he knew that he should read them first—at least a little—to make sure he was prepared to be on the run with the Soldier. While reading it over, his conscience started rolling around uneasily and Steve knew that he wouldn’t be able to up and leave and not give the people he’s forcing to take over this job some help.

Steve wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he’d had information that could help them and didn’t give it to Maria.

So he’s walking into the head building and carrying flowers to deliver to Maria, along with the information folded neatly away in an envelope tucked in his pocket.

The Soldier was waiting in the car a few blocks away—Steve had borrowed a bike from someone to deliver the flowers—so Steve had a way to rush out if things went south at all.

It was strangely comforting to know that the Soldier was waiting for him, that the Soldier was willingly leaving with Steve and allowed Steve to help him in a sense. He knew there weren’t many other people who ever would.

But that calming thought didn’t erase the nerves he felt as he walked in through security. Thankfully, Steve had been paying attention every time he came through and noticed that they didn’t out-right stop anyone coming in with a delivery until they made it through the security scanners. To the outside people, they looking like simple metal detectors, but they were actually full body scans, looking for weapons, poison, explosives, and other such dangerous—or potentially dangerous—items.

After making it through the scan, the visitors were immediately directed to the Information and Security desk where they were asked who they were there to see. Security would check if they were both in the building and a real person before directing them where they needed to go.

Again, SHIELD had wanted to make it clear that it was a government job and minimize the look and feel of secret missions. The entire office building basically looked like offices and cubicles, which was where everyone worked until they were called into the big conferences rooms or the secret few floors where all the equipment is held.

It was really a genius plan because if everyone thought they were just a typical government security firm, they wouldn’t feel the need to try and sneak in and look for information.

Well, maybe that had changed a bit since the Avengers came out. Steve honestly couldn’t remember if they outright said they were affiliated with SHIELD or Nick Fury. He honestly didn’t care. It wasn’t like he would ever need to know that.

“Morning, Sir,” one of the security officers said.

Steve smiled at him and set the flowers on the counter. “Morning. I got a delivery for someone here. Hang on while I find their name.”

He pulled out a piece of paper—one that he had worked on for hours the day before—to look like a delivery receipt. He knew what security looked for and what they didn’t. Besides, he had the help of one of the greatest spies and agents sleeping—or not sleeping—in the room right next to him.

“A Ms. Maria Hill?” Steve questioned.

“Take the elevator on the left to the 40th floor,” the security guard named Jared said. “Ask reception once you get there.”

“Thank you,” Steve said, bowing his head down briefly.

He went into the elevator, pressing the button for the 40th floor—the floor he knew so well—knowing that this might be the last time he’d ever visit here. 

Steve wasn’t naïve; he knew that leaving with the Soldier could mean that he won’t ever be able to come back here. Steve also knew that that was a risk he was willing to take. The Soldier needed him more than anyone else and Steve was going to do everything in his power to get him to safety.

The doors opened and Steve locked eyes with one of the members from Rumlow’s team; his old team. They glanced at him and Steve couldn’t tell if he’d been made or not before he ducked his head. It wouldn’t matter; it _didn’t_ matter. He was where he needed to be. He just had to drop off the flowers and note to Maria and then leave. He’d take the stairs if he had to. Hell, he’d probably fall from the roof if push came to shove.

“Delivery for Maria Hill,” Steve said as he walked up to Jane at the reception desk.

“Her office is right over there,” Jane said. “I can have someone deliver them later if you’d just leave them on the desk.”

“I can take them, if you’d like,” Steve offered.

“That’s very sweet but it’s not necessary,” Jane assured him.

“It’s no trouble at all ma’am,” Steve told her.

“All right then.” Jane smiled and looked down. “Thank you…Roger.”

Steve nodded and watched her eyes flit back up from his name-tag. He turned and went toward Maria’s office, keeping his steps relaxed and uneven.

He knocked on the door. “Delivery for Maria Hill.”

“Another one?” Maria said as she turned around. “Seems like I’m one popular woman.”

“I’d say trustworthy ma’am,” Steve said, sliding the flowers onto her desk.

“My friend recently had surgery,” Maria said as she watched him pull out the papers. “He must have sent me a thank you for helping drive him to the hospital.”

“That’d be a well-deserved thank you,” Steve said. He held out the papers, the one waiting for her signature on top. “If you wouldn’t mind signing.”

Maria nodded and scribbled her name, expertly keeping the papers underneath as she handed the top paper back to him. “You have a lot more deliveries to make after this?”

Steve shook his head. “No. It’s my last one.”

“Any plans for the weekend?”

“Going on a vacation with a friend,” Steve said, nodding his head toward the papers.

“Sounds fun.”

Steve hesitated. “This delivery was a favor for a friend. I couldn’t abandon them without doing all I could. Before my vacation.”

Maria smiled a small smile. “That was kind of you.”

“I only wish I could do more.”

“Maybe in the future,” Maria said gently. “Have fun on your vacation.”

“Good luck with your work,” Steve said. They stared at each other for about eight seconds before Steve turned to walk out of the room.

“If I were to get more flowers in the future,” Maria said quietly. “It’d be okay for my secret admirer to have them delivered to my house.”

“Noted.” Steve couldn’t turn around and look at her again. It was harder to leave than he thought. Maria had been there with him for almost his entire time in SHIELD. She had started just a little after he did, but was much better at the spy aspect of it. Maria Hill was born to control things. She was calm and level-headed and always thought through every plan she put into action.

Steve wished that he would be able to contact her when he ran into trouble on the run but there wasn’t a secure way to do that. They’d already ditched Steve’s phone and they didn’t have a need for a new one.

Steve nodded at Jane on his way out, “Have a good weekend.”

“You too.” She smiled at him.

Steve walked into the elevator and glanced out the glass wall, looking down at the scene below. Someone walked in, nodding at him when Steve turned to glance at him.

The elevator doors pinged shut and they started moving back toward the ground floor. They stopped at floors 39, 37, 32, and 30; every time at least one other person got in. It only took until the second time the elevator stopped that Steve realized that he’d been made—he’d been caught.

The doors shut on the thirtieth floor and Steve cleared his throat. “Before we begin, does anyone want to get off?”

It was like that was the cue everyone had been waiting for. Everyone leapt into action. One man pressed the stop button on the elevator, jerking the entire chamber to a hard stop. Two agents carrying briefcases came at him with their handles, trying to pin his wrists to the metal beams in the elevator.

Steve didn’t think, he just acted. Putting all his thoughts and momentum into staying alive and relying on what his opponent’s body language was telling him, Steve fought back.

There were eight people in the chamber all together. Steve had successfully knocked two agents out, knocking their heads together in a move that he had never had a reason to use before. It would have been comical if it hadn’t been necessary and there weren’t five other people he had to watch out for.

There was the sound of glass cracking on the window and the elevator gave a sudden lurch toward the ground. The console was smoking briefly because someone had shot out the console. They’d shot so clean and precise that they had been able to somehow slice right through all the wires holding the elevator. It was now free-falling toward the ground.

Steve took advantage of the momentary panic—he knew the elevator would brake once they got closer to the ground. He imprisoned one person’s wrist the way they had wanted to do to him and turned his attention toward another one in the elevator.

So far two out cold, two bound, and three still raring to fight. Not horrible bad odds.

The elevator snapped to a stop. The force of the stop took out another agent.

Steve spent the next three minutes fighting the remaining two agents, trying not to focus too much on how he was going to get out of here or whether there were more people waiting for him.

A sharp stinging in his leg forced his attention to shift:  the doors were being pried open and someone had shot him through the small opening. He twisted the person he’d been fighting to use a shield in front of him. Steve dropped them when he realized the other agents didn’t care if they were shooting at Steve or another agent.

He briefly wished that he hadn’t used the other agent that way but it was him or them at this point. And he needed to survive this because the Soldier needed him.

A fire erupted in his gut and Steve fell to his knees. Brock Rumlow stood there, staring at him through the open door. Steve stared back.

“It’s the job,” Rumlow said. “It’s not personal”

“It feels personal,” Steve said. He reached out and grabbed the small gun from Rumlow’s hands. He whipped it across Rumlow’s face and turned to shoot at the glass wall in the elevator.

The wall shattered.

Steve grabbed one of the briefcases and jumped out the opening he’d made in the elevator. He was bleeding from the leg and heavily from the stomach and still at least eight stories still above the ground, but he didn’t care. He only had one thought as he fell and it wasn’t for his own safety.

 _Please let the Soldier—let_ James _get away._

Steve didn’t even feel the ground when he hit it.

* * *

Steve came to consciousness with a hazy recollection of bright lights, pain, and a worried face. He blinked his eyes open and looked around, trying to figure out where he was.

In short, he had no idea.

He was in some sort of medical facility room, but it clearly hadn’t been used in a long time. There was a thin layer of dust over most of the room, except where he was laying. The tools even looked a bit old and outdated. It was that vaguely yellow color that stark white walls adopted over time.

 _Hospital,_ Steve thought to himself. _I was shot._

It was a calm statement in his mind. It didn’t bring him any worry or concern. He simply forced himself to sit up with minimal discomfort and reached down for the bottom of his shirt.

There wasn’t any wound there. The only thing visible was a pink scar, looking as though it’d been healed for quite some time.

 _Had they frozen him?_ The panic started setting in then, a strange terror clawing at his throat and telling him to get out, get out _now_.

The Soldier— _James_ was standing in front of him, his eyes worried and a frown on his mouth. “You have to take it easy.”

He seemed different somehow, more himself if that made sense. It didn’t, even to Steve’s panicked mind.

“What happened?” Steve asked, mentally trying to brace himself for something terrible.

“You were shot,” James replied, narrowing his eyes. “And jumped eight stories.”

“Yeah, I remember that,” Steve snapped. He sighed. “What happened after that?”

“I got you out and took you here,” James said, his voice quieting.

“Where is here?” Steve asked.

“Camp Lehigh,” James told him.

“Why? What is this place?” Steve glanced around again before settling his gaze back on James.

James never looked away from him. “It’s where I started.”

“Started what?” Steve asked.

“Started training to be a soldier in World War II,” James told him, his eyes skittering away. “It’s the only place that came to mind once I’d gotten you from the building.”

Steve paused. “How’d you get me out of the building?”

James’ hand clenched. “I carried you.”

Steve stared at him.

“You were busy trying to take on seven other people at the time to notice me on the opposite roof,” James explained. “I thought you might need back-up.

“I snapped the elevator cables, giving you a chance to handle the people in the elevator with you,” James said. “You did pretty well until you got shot and thought that jumping out a window, eight stories up, was the best option.”

James stared at him and Steve suddenly felt like he was being scolded.

“I didn’t see any other options.”

James just stared at him. “You didn’t see anything else to do but jump out a window as you slowly bled to death?”

“But I didn’t,” Steve said. “Why didn’t I?”

“It doesn’t matter,” James said.

“It does.”

James closed his eyes and then opened them, staring right at Steve. “You needed blood once we got here. I gave you mine.”

“…Yours?” Steve asked softly, understanding the implication in that sentence.

“I didn’t see any other choice,” James said. “It was either that and risk you getting the enhancements I have or watching you bleed out.”

“Why didn’t my body reject it?” Steve asked, vaguely recalling how difficult blood transfusions could be.

“My blood is O negative,” James said quietly. “It was in the file.”

“You saved me,” Steve said, surprised. He didn’t know what else to say.

“You said we were leaving,” James said quietly. “You weren’t leaving me behind. I wasn’t leaving you behind.”

Steve swallowed the lump in his throat. “It worked, I take it? Now I’m…like you?”

James nodded, his eyes cast down again.

“Now we really are a pair,” Steve said, laughing at the ridiculousness of the entire situation. He almost bled to death after jumping from an elevator and was saved by a masked assassin who’d given him his blood and the way for him to heal.

It was crazy.

“Hey, you sound… different,” Steve said gently.

“More like a human?” James asked.

“That’s one way to put it,” Steve agreed.

James was quiet for a while. “It’s been a long few days.”

Steve inclined his head. “You wanna talk about it?”

James shrugged. “Memories came back. Things are making more sense.”

James turned his gaze around, staring through the walls around them. “It’s like I’m remembering more how to be myself, a person, just being here where it all started.”

Steve nodded. “Makes sense.”

They were quiet for a long while, each man lost in their own thoughts but it was comfortable, relaxing even, to be next to someone who just seemed to understand.

“Thank you, James,” Steve said quietly.

“Bucky,” James said after a minute. “My name is Bucky.”

Steve smiled. “Bucky?”

James—Bucky turned to look at him, his eyes wide and showing more emotion than Steve had ever seen. “I remembered my name. James Buchanan Barnes. But I liked Bucky.”

Steve held out his hand. “I’m Steve.”

Bucky smiled, the corner of his mouth flicking up as he reached his hand into Steve’s grip. He didn’t say anything, but then again, he didn’t need to.

They didn’t need to say anything at all.

* * *

The two of them spent the next few days resting and recuperating. Bucky, as it turned out, was a mother hen when it came to Steve and his injuries. Despite the fact that Bucky understood the serum better than Steve did, he still didn’t allow Steve to get out of bed for two days. He said he wanted to make sure Steve’s injuries were fully healed.

Steve was more than willing to listen because it gave him time to study Bucky and see how he was really doing.

It was obvious that while he was remembering who he had been, he was still having trouble becoming that person again. Sometimes he would lapse into silence that was eerily motionless like the Soldier used to do before remembering himself and shifting.

Steve wanted to tell him that who he was now was fine, James, Bucky, whoever he wanted to be. He didn’t need to morph himself to fit this strange idea he thought he needed to fit himself into.

Of course, it wasn’t up to Steve to tell Bucky how to be. If he wanted to try and be his old self than the least Steve could do was try and be supportive of him.

Bucky wasn’t getting the most to eat, now that he had to share all the rations with Steve because both of them now needed at least double the amount of food other people ate. It was also hard to tell if he was sleeping at all.

Steve didn’t ask him, he couldn’t. He wasn’t sure what their new relationship was and wanted to give Bucky the time to figure out things himself before Steve tried to force him to talk or do something he didn’t want to do.

He just hoped it was enough.

* * *

It was the fourth day of sitting there before Bucky finally allowed Steve to leave the medical ward. He decided to give Steve a small tour of the grounds.

Bucky didn’t have many concrete memories of his time here, but he remembered being here and feeling acceptance. Steve privately wondered if he’d ever met Agent Carter; though he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know that.

They were walking along the small barracks when Steve noticed the ammunitions building and paused.

“You okay?” Bucky asked, ever worried that Steve was going to injure himself more.

“This is wrong,” Steve said.

Bucky glanced around. Steve saw the moment his eyes landed on the markings on the door. “They wouldn’t have allowed an ammunitions building this close to the barracks.”

“Protocol is that ammunition needs to be stored at least 500 feet from the barracks,” Steve said going up to the door. It was bolted shut with a padlock.

“Don’t suppose you have a bolt cutter stashed here somewhere?” Steve asked.

Bucky scoffed and walked up behind Steve. He reached out with his metal hand and simply yanked the lock out of the door.

“Efficient.” It was all Steve could say. Bucky did his little smile again and Steve felt like he’d said the right thing.

Steve carefully opened the door and Bucky pushed himself in first, his left arm held in front of him acting as a type of shield.

It was set up to appear as an ammunitions building, but it was much too small to be regulation.

Steve followed Bucky, his gun held up and eyes scanning the room. Bucky seemed to be aware that there was something they were looking for or something that he was trying to find. Steve didn’t want to bother him by asking him what it was or how he could help; he just let him do whatever it was he was doing.

Bucky made some sort of noise and reached out pulling a bookcase away from the wall. It creaked but it moved easy enough.

It opened up to a secret office area. Bucky seemed to have been aware of its existence and walked through. Steve followed.

There were pictures on the wall and there was one that Steve instantly recognized. “Agent Carter.”

Bucky turned back and walked up to the wall. “We called her Peggy.”

Steve turned toward him. “You really knew her?”

Bucky nodded. “She was the leader of our merry band of misfits. One of the best damn agents and soldiers I’ve ever worked with. Hell of a shot too.”

Steve’s mind flooded with a million questions he wanted as Bucky about his time during the war and Agent Carter and just everything that he’d ever studied, but now was not the time. If they weren’t currently on the run for their lives and Bucky hadn’t just gotten him memories back, then maybe Steve would ask him.

Bucky deserved to have his memories and keep them as his own for a while.

“Who’re the other two people?” Steve asked gesturing to the wall.

“Howard Stark,” Bucky said. “He was a civilian pilot and ammunitions expert for us. Rumor was him and Peggy were something special. Never had the nerve to ask her about it.”

Steve nodded. He briefly wondered if the guy was related to the other Stark that was currently running around with Fury’s new crew.

“Colonel Phillips,” Bucky said. “He helped train the 107th before we shipped out.”

Bucky turned away and Steve followed until a couple boxes caught his eye. It was as though the place had been packed up quickly and quietly before other people really knew what was happening. That would explain the pictures still hanging as well as the outdated office equipment stuck behind.

Steve walked over to the files and carefully pulled the lid off of one. It held a very old uniform that looked to be made out of an American flag or something. Steve thought it was ridiculous but that didn’t stop him from pulling it out and examining it.

For as old as it had to be, it was still pretty well put together. It wasn’t torn or weathered and seemed to be made of some material that reminded him of the Kevlar vests.

“You gonna try that on?”

Steve turned to see Bucky watching him carefully. “What would I need this for?”

“You might need a uniform one day,” Bucky said.

“I think my uniform days are past,” Steve said. But he didn’t put the uniform back in the box. He tucked it under his arm.

The next box held a single file folder:  _Operation Rebirth – Discontinued_. There was a much larger and much bolder stamp on top of all of that which read **_FAILED._**

Steve pulled it out and opened it to a picture of a man who looked to be muscular and in shape. He was smiling for the picture but it didn’t seem like a particularly genuine smile.

_Clinton McIntyre._

Steve read through the small file to see that he had been chosen by Colonel Philips to participate in Project Rebirth. The Project was an attempt by a German doctor, Abraham Erskine, to enhance the human body’s capabilities. He believed that it would create super-humans.

According to the file, it worked. McIntyre was successfully enhanced to the point of un-believability. He was able to bench press almost one ton and could run for hours without getting tired or exhausted. His food intake was increased but so was the output of his energy.

Apparently Rebirth was meant to be the start of an entire army of these enhanced humans. However, as soon as McIntyre woke up unharmed and better, Erskine was shot and killed by a Nazi spy, taking his knowledge of the serum with him. Apparently Erskine hadn’t written anything down out of fear that it would be stolen. 

The knowledge would have come in handy later because McIntyre’s body started failing him while he was out on assignment. He had been allowed into the field of war only because he was the only one and went above Colonel Phillip’s head at getting the authorization that he needed. It didn’t say how, but it was written in ink as if a side note to this tale.

He was out on the field, codename Protocide, and his body began shutting down. The serum stopped working the way that it was supposed to and destroyed McIntyre’s body. He was only enhanced for a total of five months and 4 days.

Steve swallowed and felt sick. He was now enhanced, wasn’t he? Was this what his future would potentially hold?

He didn’t _feel_ any different, not really. He obviously felt stronger and bigger, which made him feel like he didn’t quite fit in this large body. But his mind felt the same. He wasn’t suddenly thinking differently or feeling differently. Maybe that was a good sign?

“You ever hear anything about Project Rebirth?” Steve asked quietly.

Bucky, of course, heard him. “Yes.”

“That’s where they got it from, didn’t they?” Steve asked. “How they made you.”

“They didn’t make me,” Bucky said. “They enhanced me.”

“You know it failed,” Steve told him, for some reason unable to let it go.

“That was because they didn’t have the tesseract to make it work,” Bucky told him. He looked down and clenched his jaw.

“Were you there when it happened?” Steve asked. “McIntyre?”

Bucky shook his head. “No. I only heard about it through Peggy. She mentioned something about it once he’d died. That was the only time I’d ever heard about it.”

Steve nodded.

“You’re going to be fine, Steve.” Bucky looked at him so intently that Steve had to believe him. Bucky was the only one who might have any real clue as to how and why this version worked. Steve had to trust him.

Bucky jerked his head. “This way.”

Steve followed him to side where he had pulled a file cabinet away from the way while he’d been trapped reading the file. There was an elevator door there.

“Why would you need a secret elevator in a secret office inside a facility that wasn’t supposed to be here?” Steve asked aloud.

“Secrecy,” Bucky answered with a smirk and called for the elevator. Steve couldn’t decide if he wanted to punch him or laugh with him.

The elevator took them down into a room that was filled with old machines and technology that resembled modern day computers but weren’t. It was something Steve remembered hearing about from his childhood, but it wasn’t like he had anything technology related growing up. He didn’t get a computer until he was in high school and that wasn’t anything like desktop computers nowadays.

“You think any of this works?” Steve asked as he brushed dust off one of the monitors.

“Probably.” Bucky walked over and flipped the power switch.

The machines started up, whirling and beeping, with little lights flashing over all the working parts. After a few minutes, the machines stalled and they were prompted for data input.

“There’s nothing here that would work,” Bucky said to himself.

Steve thought of the drive that he had from Fury and ran to grab it. He was jittery on his trek back up the elevator and through the abandoned camp. He’d gotten so used to Bucky’s silent company and he felt incredibly exposed without Bucky there to guard his back.

Steve stuffed the uniform he’d forgotten about into his bag and dug out the flash drive before rushing back to the ammunitions building. A flash of silver caught his eye hiding under one of the desks and Steve picked it up. It was a metal shield, plain and circular. Steve slipped it onto his arm as he walked into the elevator and pressed the button to go back to where Bucky was waiting for him.

Bucky noticed the shield on his arm but didn’t say anything. Steve walked over to the console and plugged in the flash drive, watching the lights blink on the drive.

“The technology’s too old,” Bucky said quietly. “I don’t think that’s going to work here.”

“If this is where SHIELD started,” Steve said quietly. “Then this has to work here. Fury’s part of SHIELD and SHIELD wouldn’t have a place like this if it wasn’t meant to interpret all types of data.”

“We’ve no guarantee that this was ever SHIELD’s headquarters,” Bucky said gently.

“The pictures,” Steve said.

“Could have been hung by anyone,” Bucky told him.

“The symbol.” Steve said. “In the office. That’s SHIELD’s original symbol.”

Bucky frowned but didn’t say anything.

The computers started beeping again but this time it opened up and there was a green face on the screen. Beside him, Bucky froze and Steve braced for an attack.

“Sergeant Barnes,” a thickly-accented voice said. Steve thought it could be German or maybe Austrian. The face stared at Bucky.

“No,” Bucky whispered, so quietly Steve was certain he was the only person who would have ever been able to hear him.

“It’s so good to see you,” the man said again. “Doing so well after all our time together.”

“What are you?” Steve asked.

“Not what, Captain Steven Rogers, but whom,” the man said. “I am Dr. Arnim Zola. I created the serum used on Sergeant Barnes to make him into the weapon he is today.”

“Why are you here, on a SHIELD computer?” Steve asked.

“Because I belong wherever this flash drive is. You see, I died many years ago but was able to transplant my memories and brain functions into a computer program that the rest of my team could use for the remainder of their years.

“I’ve been able to gather data that no one else would be able to find and use to further our cause.”

“What cause is that?” Steve asked.

“HYDRA’s.”

Steve stared at him. “SHIELD would have realized they were being hacked.”

“Not if they were being hacked from within the system itself. I was here when this technology was founded. I was there to grow and adapt along with it, lying in wait for years until something came up that required HYDRA’s attention,” Zola explained.

“SHIELD isn’t as bullet-proof as you believe them to be, Captain,” Zola said.

“You’ve been helping feed HYDRA information from the beginning,” Steve said. “That’s how they’ve been able to remain undiscovered for so long.”

“That’s right,” Zola said. “You only discovered the truth because they wanted you to. But if they hadn’t, you would have kept on working for them without ever knowing the truth behind what it was you were doing.”

Steve didn’t say anything. It was the truth. He didn’t think to question authority because it wasn’t his place and even when things didn’t add up, he did his job. He was just a simple soldier and that was what he was supposed to do.

“There had to have been other people who suspected over the years,” Steve said.

“Of course there were some,” Zola said. “But they were taken care of. We take our secrecy very seriously.”

“You killed them,” Steve accused.

“No, Captain. I am merely a program.” Zola smiled. “Sergeant Barnes killed them.”

Bucky’s breathing faltered but he said nothing.

“He is their greatest Asset, greatest weapon, and they will do anything to get him back,” Zola said.

“They can’t have him.” Steve stared down the computer.

“We always get what we want,” Zola said. “And soon the rest of the world will understand and appreciate that.”

“What do you mean?” Steve asked.

“The world is a dangerous place, Captain. Full of terror and crimes and chaos. It needs to be handled; the _people_ need to be handled. They have always needed someone to tell them what to do and HYDRA is going to give them that.

“Project Insight is their greatest achievement since Sergeant Barnes.” Zola smiled.

“Project Insight?” Steve asked.

“It’s an algorithm that’s going to make it possible to determine exactly who is capable of acts of chaos or terror,” Zola said. “It will make the world a safer place.”

“The helicarriers,” Steve said quietly, thinking back to months ago when he’d gone with Rumlow to see if what Fury had been working on was ready.

“Yes, Captain. You seem to catch on quicker than most.”

“SHIELD won’t authorize this. Not knowing the potential dangers and risks involved,” Steve said.

“SHIELD doesn’t have to. The Security Council does.”

Steve felt the floor drop out from under his feet. Alexander Pierce was head of the Security Council. He could get them to agree to just about anything. It was his way.

“Steve we have to go,” Bucky said, suddenly tugging on his arm. He tried to pull Steve but Steve didn’t let him. He grabbed the flash drive, but it didn’t take Zola from the computer.

“Leaving so soon, Sergeant Barnes?” Zola asked. “We’ve barely had a chance to catch up. I want to hear about all the things you’ve been doing for the past years, decades.”

Bucky pulled Steve toward the elevators, completely ignoring Zola. Steve didn’t say anything. The elevator pinged and Bucky nearly pushed Steve into it, keeping himself between Steve and the computer.

“Your work has been a gift to mankind, Sergeant Barnes,” Zola called out. “Think of everything you’ve achieved.”

The doors slid shut and Zola’s voice was gone. Bucky was shaking and Steve didn’t know what to do.

“Bucky?” he asked quietly and gently put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. Bucky seemed to sag under his weight for the rest of the ride before pulling himself together and rushing from the elevator.

“We have to get out of here. Now,” Bucky said. “They’re coming for us.”

“How do you know?” Steve asked but he followed Bucky anyways.

“It’s how they operate,” Bucky said nearly running into the medical bay that they’d been staying in. He grabbed his bag and started shoving anything he could find into the other open bag.

“Grab as much as you can in the next forty seconds because then we have to go.” Bucky didn’t so much as pause from his packing to speak to Steve.

Steve grabbed his two bags and started copying Bucky, going about the room. He had a forlorn thought about how they should have stopped for more ammunition and weapons when they had been in the ammunitions room but it was too late now.

They had to go.

“Steve.” Bucky was already at the door.

“Coming.” Steve reached down to grab the shield, feeling attached to it for some reason, and rushing after Bucky.

They ran out of the compound and into the surrounding woods. Less than a minute after getting into the woods, the sky lit up and they felt the explosion.

* * *

Steve tried to focus on the road, but it was difficult with the brooding presence of Bucky beside him. The man had barely spoken to Steve since the incident at the old training camp. He’d directed Steve where to go and what to do to escape HYDRA unnoticed, but that was pretty much it.

Steve had tried to talk to him and with him about what had all happened back there but Bucky was unresponsive. It was like he had shut down any attempts to forge a friendship. Steve was left feeling unsure of  what he was supposed to do.

“We need a car,” Steve said, breaking the silence.

“Where are we going?” Bucky asked.

“To a friend’s,” Steve said softly. “Back in D.C.”

Bucky scoffed. “So you’re taking us right back to the hornet’s nest.”

“It’s not like we’ve got a lot of other options, Buck.” Steve sighed.

“You want to help them,” Bucky said quietly.

“Yes,” Steve admitted. “I can’t just sit by and watch that happen and not try to help. I know I promised you that you wouldn’t be dragged back, but I have to go. You don’t have to, Bucky. I’m not going to ask you to.”

Bucky was quiet. “You don’t want me to be there. You don’t think I can actually help stop this.”

Steve stopped and reached out for Bucky’s arm, the metal plates shifted under his hand. “That’s not it at all. You’ve fought them for so long. I’m not about to ask you to risk going back to them.”

“And there’s always the chance that I’ll revert,” Bucky said.

“Stop that.” Steve let go of Bucky’s arm and didn’t miss the way Bucky’s eyes glanced down to where Steve had just been grabbing him. “You’re trying to twist this around.”

“Were you even going to tell me?” Bucky asked quietly.

“Tell you what?” Steve asked.

“That you were going back to help stop this. That I was— _am_ a weapon. That I killed hundreds of people,” Bucky said. His eyes flashed dangerously.

“I don’t know,” Steve admitted. “I don’t think you’re a weapon at all. I never did. Yeah, you might have killed people, but that’s the name of the war. I did it too. For the same people.”

Bucky swallowed.

“I don’t know if I’d have told you about my plan to go back and help because I didn’t want you to feel like you had to join me. I wouldn’t blame you or be upset at all if you decided to go on the run and get as far away from this place and them as you could.”

“You can’t outrun HYDRA,” Bucky said quietly. “You can only destroy them.”

Steve glanced at him.

“Let’s go get the bad guys,” Bucky said.

Steve could only smile and continue to follow after Bucky.

* * *

“You sure we can trust this guy?” Bucky asked for the ninth time since they started on their road trip. Steve was perversely grateful that the last time he’d taken this car ride he’d been entirely unconscious.

“Yes,” Steve said again for the ninth time. “Sam’s helped me out before and he’d the only person outside of SHIELD or HYDRA or whatever that I have. Besides, we just need a place to lay low for a few days while we come up with a plan.”

Bucky shook his head like he had every other time Steve had answered his question but stayed quiet. Steve didn’t let that bother him and tried not to feel jittery and nervous as he pulled up outside Sam’s home. He tried not to think about the major breach of privacy he’d done to obtain Sam’s address.

But desperate times call for desperate measures.

They parked down the street. Steve and Bucky both pulled down their baseballs caps as they reached into the trunk to grab their bags.

Steve’s heart pounded in his chest as they walked to the door. For all the confidence he’d given Bucky about Sam, Steve still wasn’t positive Sam would want two random people, smelling and exhausted, staying with him in the first place. Let alone once he told Sam that they were being hunted by a neo-Nazi organization that had roots in the US Government. That might be a bit too much.

Steve knocked on the door and Sam was quick to open it, cautious expression in place.

“I’m sorry about this, Sam,” Steve said as Sam opened the door.

“Everyone we know is trying to kill us. Government included,” Bucky helpfully added.

Steve shrugged sheepishly.

Sam nodded once and opened the door wider. “Not everyone.”

Steve had never been more grateful for anyone in his entire life. It was the most that anyone’s ever done for him and Sam wasn’t even that familiar with him. They’d only met a handful of times and Steve just… He was overwhelmed that Sam would let this to happen.

“Sam Wilson, this is Bucky Barnes. He’s an old friend. Bucky, this is Sam. He works down at the VA,” Steve said awkwardly.

Sam and Bucky nodded at each other but didn’t say anything more. Steve wasn’t used to be in the position of introducing people. He’d always been the random tag-along friend who’d been introduced.

“Guest bedroom and bathroom’s down the hall,” Sam said gesturing. “Why don’t you two clean up and I’ll make breakfast.”

Steve saw him glance at that shiny metal of Bucky’s arm but he didn’t say anything and Steve was immensely grateful. “Thanks, Sam.”

Steve led Bucky down the hall and nodded toward the bathroom. “You shower first. I can take a few minutes to rest.”

Bucky nodded and disappeared.

Steve literally dropped his bags on the ground and collapsed on the bed, ignoring the fact that he was filthy because he was just so exhausted. It was strange but this was the first time in days he felt tired. The serum was obviously working.

Before Steve could fall asleep, Bucky was back in the room, a towel carefully held around his waist.

He grunted and said, “Bathroom’s free.”

“You couldn’t have taken a few extra minutes so I could sleep?” Steve asked as he dug through his bag for some clean clothes.

Bucky’s mouth twitched but that was the only indication that he’d heard what Steve had said.

Steve left him and went to shower. He’d forgotten how good it felt to actually have a shower. At the barracks, there was only a tub that they could use to have a sponge bath type of cleaning. The tub itself didn’t seem like they could trust it to not shatter if they sat inside.

Steve allowed himself to take his time, the hot water sliding over his exhausted muscles and tried not to notice the slight changes in his physique.

He turned off the water and got out, drying himself quickly and efficiently, the way he’d always been trained to do so. He pulled on a pair of his running shorts and a t-shirt before walking out of the bathroom.

Steve threw his dirty clothes into the guest room on the ground and gestured for Bucky to follow him to the kitchen area.

Sam was there, dumping a mound of scrambled eggs onto a serving platter. “You look like you guys haven’t eaten in days.”

Steve shrugged but didn’t really say anything to confirm or deny his accusation.

Sam crossed his arms and leaned against his counter and Steve and Bucky grabbed a seat and starting filling their plates. Bucky was a lot more hesitant than Steve because he didn’t know Sam. He clearly didn’t know what to expect from this strange man who didn’t seem to mind that Steve had shown up. Not to mention that Steve had brought with him a random stranger who had a metal arm and barely talked.

Steve tried to give him a reassuring smile. He wasn’t sure if it worked. 

“I take it you took my retirement advice,” Sam said suddenly from his place sitting next to Steve. Steve burst out laughing.

“I did, actually,” Steve said.

“Getting on the government’s shit list is you retiring?” Sam asked with a laugh. “What the hell did you do exactly?”

Steve shook his head. “What I did isn’t important. It’s what I do now.”

Sam nodded.

“Thanks for delivering the flowers for me,” Steve said.

“I knew it had to be important,” Sam said. Steve glanced at Bucky as if to say _I told you so._

“It was,” Steve said.

“And is it still?” Sam asked carefully.

“There’s a mess that’s about to happen and I need to try and help stop it,” Steve said.

“Why?” Sam asked.

“Because it’s my responsibility. If I know there’s going to be a major crisis and thousands of people are going to die, it’s my duty to help as much as I can,” Steve said.

“Not at the cost of yourself,” Bucky said quietly.

“It’s not going to cost me anything,” Steve said. “I’m just going to talk with Maria and give her the information.”

“And suggest that you go on board the helicarriers to help destroy them before they attack,” Bucky said.

Steve was quiet because he’d been preparing that exact speech. He’d planned on making his case how it’d be easier if only one or two people are in charge of changing the missile patterns instead of trying to use an entire team.

“I know you by now,” Bucky said. “You’d sacrifice yourself if it meant helping someone else.”

“Buck, I can’t just sit by.”

“I know,” Bucky said sullenly. “It’s why I’m going with you.”

“Bucky I can’t—“

“You didn’t. I offered,” Bucky said.

“Bucky…”

“You said I could make a choice,” Bucky said quietly. “This is it.”

Steve was quiet. How could he argue that?

“Sounds like you could use a wing-man,” Sam said. He dropped a file right next to Steve’s plate. Steve hadn’t even seen him get up.

“What’s this?” Steve asked.

“Think of it as my resume,” Sam said.

“Sam, you’ve already done more than enough. I can’t ask you to get back in the game for a fight that’s not yours,” Steve argued.

“Helping stop the deaths of thousands of people sounds like a pretty good reason to me,” Sam said. “Besides, I’m with tall dark and handsome over there. You didn’t ask me to do anything.”

Steve sighed. “You’re not going to give up are you?”

Sam smiled. “Nope. You just need to learn to accept help when it’s offered to you.”

“I feel like I’ve heard that before,” Steve said, picking up the folder. He opened it and stared. It was a picture of Sam with a man—Steve assumed Sam’s old partner Riley—both of them with wings strapped to their backs. There was another picture of both of them soaring through the air.

“I thought you said you were a pilot,” Steve said shaking his head.

“I never said pilot.” Sam grinned.

“You have access to one of these?” Steve asked.

“No,” Sam said. “It’s under lock and key in the Pentagon.”

Steve glanced over at Bucky who nodded. “That shouldn’t be a problem. What we really need is to find a way to get to Maria.”

“What about if Maria came to us?” Sam asked.

Steve glanced at him. “She’d never trust a random person coming up to her and asking her to come with her.”

“Not even if I gave her a message from you?” Sam asked.

Steve frowned and thought. “She might, but only if you say the right thing.”

“I always say the right thing,” Sam shot back.

“You’d need to go to her house,” Steve told him. “She’ll know it’s me if you go there and tell her that you’d heard that she wanted her secret admirer to deliver flowers to her house instead of the office.”

“That’d work?” Sam asked.

“I hope so,” Steve said. “It’s either that or getting caught and just hoping that she’d catch on quick enough to be able to get there to help us escape. This seems like the easier option.”

Sam shook his head. “ _Easier_ option. Spying and secret code words and messages are the easier option.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Steve said seriously.

“Man, you ask me that again and I’m going to ask the guy with the metal arm to clamp your mouth shut,” Sam said, raising his brows at Bucky. Bucky grinned back and flexed his metal hand menacingly.

“Fine.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest. “We should probably start planning on getting the wings.”

“No you don’t,” Sam said. “You guys need a rest. Just a few hours at least.”

Steve glanced over at Bucky who shrugged. Steve took that to mean _I’ve done more on less sleep_ which wasn’t as comforting as Bucky seemed to think it was.

“What did you have in mind?” Steve asked.

“We have the whole day to wait before I go get the girl,” Sam said. “How about we watch a little Netflix?”

“Netflix?” Bucky asked quietly, but Sam heard him.

“Sweet summer child, you have never experienced the wonders of Netflix?” Sam nearly clutched his chest. “We’re going to sit down and watch something amazing.”

“What about that show with the parks and the bum-dee-dum  happy intro music,” Steve suggested. “I like that one.”

“You are so lucky I binge-watched _Parks and Rec_ recently because if I hadn’t, I would have no idea what you mean,” Sam said practically trying to march them to the sofa.

Steve went willing and plopped himself down in the middle while Bucky shoved himself into the corner, wedged in between Steve and the arm of the sofa. It should have felt suffocating and uncomfortable but it didn’t. It was like Steve could breathe for the first time in forever and it was nice.

He wondered if Bucky felt something similar.

It only took two episodes before Bucky dropped his head onto Steve’s shoulder. Steve smiled to himself and figured that meant that Bucky was feeling a very similar sense of comfort and security.

* * *

Steve waited up for Bucky that night to return. He’d set out on his mission to retrieve the wings for Sam shortly after he’d woken up from his afternoon nap.

Bucky had been disoriented for about three seconds before shutting down and going directly into Soldier mode. It was strange seeing the man Steve had become so comfortable with over the past few days transform into the cold and calculating Soldier. It was stranger to think how Steve had thought the Soldier was human enough. But now seeing how Bucky was, it was heartbreaking to think that he was willing to let the Soldier just continue on without learning how to be an actual person.

Steve had pretty much shut himself away in the guest room as soon as Bucky had left. Sam had made contact with Maria and she was coming over tomorrow afternoon with all the information she had. That was all Steve needed to hear before he gently excused himself to the guest room just needing a few minutes alone.

Everything was so complicated and overwhelming and Steve wasn’t entirely sure how to get out of this situation—not without potentially endangering the lives of the few friends he had. He knew that they had offered their help—practically _demanded_ it actually—but it didn’t really ease Steve’s mind.

He couldn’t lose them; any of them.

Steve wallowed in his thoughts as he waited for Bucky’s return. He’d been gone for a few hours already and was positive this would only take eight hours tops, but Steve was going to worry until he was back with him.

This was the first mission Bucky had done alone, without Steve there as back up, since Steve became the Soldier’s handler. It was also the first mission Bucky had done as Bucky and not the Soldier. It was his first mission of choice.

Unless you counted his rescue of Steve from SHIELD headquarters.

The window unlatched and Steve swiveled his body, his hands automatically reaching for the gun he’d stashed under the bed.

“Easy, Captain,” Bucky said as he shimmied in through the window.

“Bucky,” Steve said softly.

“Who’d you think it was?” Bucky asked. His words suggested that he was trying to go back to their routine of banter but his tone suggested there was something more there.

“Most people don’t come in through windows,” Steve said watching him carefully as Bucky started taking off all his tact gear. He’d become pretty good at assessing the Soldier—Bucky from further away or just a look.

Bucky merely hummed noncommittally.

“Everything go okay?” Steve asked.

Bucky nodded and passed Steve the duffel bag. “Just dandy.”

“And you’re okay?” Steve asked after he glanced inside the bag.

“Yeah. I’m fine,” Bucky said.

Steve set the bag back on the floor beside the bed and felt like there was a giant stone rolling onto his chest. This moment felt big and terrifying and Steve wasn’t sure why.

Except he did. It was nerves. He wanted to ask Bucky about that day he’d saved him but wasn’t sure Bucky would want to talk about it. Apart from the bare necessities, Bucky hadn’t told him much from that day or the days he’d spent basically alone while Steve struggled to pull through.

“I—“ Steve cleared his throat. “—I wanted to ask you about that day. At headquarters.”

Bucky sat down on the edge of the bed, right near the foot. He looked like he was ready to bolt. “Okay.”

“I just. I don’t know what happened. And I want to be prepared for anything,” Steve said. “I assume they know that we’re gone and that you’ve teamed up with me.”

Bucky frowned. “That would be a safe assumption. Considering I literally carried you out of there.”

“Where did you come from?” Steve asked. “How did you know what happened?”

“I was watching from the roof of the building next door,” Bucky said. “You had promised to take me out of there and I knew that it wouldn’t happen if you’d died.”

Steve stared at him.

“And…You were the only thing, only person, I knew that was genuinely kind to me,” Bucky admitted quietly. “You went back for me and… I just. I didn’t remember all this at the time, but the feeling of knowing that I needed to protect you was there.”

“I’m sorry that it happened,” Steve said. “That you had to go through so much for me.”

Bucky shrugged. “You’d have done the same thing.”

Steve frowned.

“Don’t try and argue,” Bucky said with a shake of his head. “You have done the same thing for me. I couldn’t just leave you there at their mercy.”

“Well,” Steve said after a few seconds of silence. “Thanks again, Buck.”

Bucky nodded and settled into the bed next to Steve. Steve got up to shut off the lights and crawled back into bed, careful not to jostle Bucky too much. The bed was big, but just not exactly big enough for two grown men to fit comfortably. But compared to the medical bay they had spent over a week in, it was like heaven.

“Hey Steve?” Bucky whispered a while later.

“Yeah?” Steve said.

“You have to promise me something.”

“All right,” Steve agreed.

“If they…If _he_ gets to me again,” Bucky said softly. “I need to you to promise that you’ll take me out.”

Steve felt his heart clench. “Bucky, no. I’m not going to kill you.”

“You might not have a choice,” Bucky said. “I can’t go through with this knowing there’s a chance that they’ll take me back and you’ll just let me kill you because you’d think you could save me or something.”

Steve was silent.

“I can’t go back to them, Steve,” Bucky admitted quietly. “I can’t go back to being that killing machine. I can’t.”

“You won’t,” Steve swore. “I won’t let them.”

“Which is why I’m asking you for this,” Bucky said. “I just want to have a contingency plan.”

Steve swallowed helplessly. “I don’t even know if I’d be able to take you out.”

“You’re enhanced now,” Bucky reminded him. “You’re as strong as I am. Your hand-to-hand is really good. You’d have a shot, but you wouldn’t be able to hesitate.”

Steve blinked his eyes closed.

“I just need you to promise me that you won’t hesitate,” Bucky said. “Please.”

“I promise,” Steve said after a few minutes. “But I won’t do anything until I am absolutely convinced there’s nothing else I can do.”

Bucky chuckled quietly. “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

“I promised you that I’m in this with you. Until the end,” Steve said.

“Till the end of the line,” Bucky agreed solemnly. It wasn’t something Steve would ever say but it felt right, it felt appropriate for them. It _fit_ them.

“Till the end of the line,” Steve agreed. He wanted, desperately, to reach out and grab Bucky’s hand or wrap his arms around him, but that felt too intimate.

So Steve settled for lying in the dark next to him, listening to his even breathing and wondering if he was asleep or, like Steve, only pretending.

* * *

Maria arrived the next night at six; Sam had prepared a simple dinner for the four of them and Steve was much more nervous than he cared to admit. It wasn’t just that he was facing someone he admired and respected and treated like a superior officer; it was that he was about to ask her to risk her life and her job for a fight that she didn’t really have a part in.

This was Steve’s fight, maybe it had been from the beginning, and it was difficult to reconcile that fact with the idea that other people wanted to help him. Bucky helping made sense, since it was his life that had been disrupted and used. Steve just couldn’t understand Sam’s desire to help or Maria’s—if she did.

Deep down, Steve knew that she would. Maria was too smart and kind not to help when there was the potential for massive destruction.

But that thought didn’t help settle his nerves as she sat down across from him and accepted the glass of wine Sam had poured for her.

Steve took a drink from his water and cleared his throat. “Thank you for coming tonight, Ms. Hill.”

“Maria,” she corrected automatically.

Steve nodded but couldn’t think of how to continue this conversation.

“Why don’t you tell me exactly what you’ve gotten mixed up with, Steve,” Maria suggested.

“It’s nothing,” Steve said.

“Really? The secret flower messages, deliveries that end up in you falling ten stories, and a random man coming to collect me for you,” Maria said. “No offense, Sam.”

“None taken.” Sam smiled and leaned back in his chair.

“It was actually only eight stories,” Steve said pathetically.

“That’s still eight too many,” Maria said.

“I know. You’re right. I’m sorry.” Steve sighed. “I just don’t know where to begin.”

“Why not at the beginning,” Maria said quietly.

Steve nodded and began to tell her everything, every little detail and all the things he thought about telling her over the years.

He told her about how he started working with Brock Rumlow’s STRIKE team after Steve’s disagreements with Nick Fury and how Steve was shifted over to Alexander Pierce’s teams for good shortly after. He told her about how things seemed fine at first and that they were going on different recon missions and extractions and he thought they were doing good; that it was just like what Fury and his teams had been doing.

Steve talked about working with the people he had come to trust. He talked about how he knew that he had chosen the right team after hearing that Fury had gone a bit AWOL in trying to get his group of super-humans together to fight.

He told her about the moment that he started questioning that decision and the way that the team was run and what they were doing when he was first really introduced to the Soldier—Bucky. After getting a nod from Bucky, Steve told Maria about the conditions they kept him in, how he almost went to her to ask her if that was normal for SHIELD and _why_ SHIELD would be using a human person in that way, but couldn’t defy a direct order. He had assumed that Pierce knew what he was doing.

Nothing had changed for a few years except that Steve was Bucky’s partner— _handler_ , Bucky corrected—but Steve had decided that it wasn’t right what they were doing and was going to defy direct orders to break Bucky out.

It was Pierce’s kill order on Nick Fury that was Steve’s final breaking point as well as the opportunity he needed to have the time to escape.

He had needed to warn Maria—the only person he really trusted in SHIELD anymore—and that was why he’d sent her the flower card and just prayed she’d figure it out. She had leveled him with an unimpressed look at that comment so Steve hadn’t lingered there.

Then he told her about getting cornered in the elevator, fighting for his life, Bucky shooting through the window and giving him the opportunity to escape. Yeah, it was a jump of eight stories, but he’s fine now.

“How are you fine now?” Maria asked quietly. “Most people can’t just walk away from a fall like that. Especially after getting shot and losing so much blood.”

Steve shrugged. “I’m just lucky I guess.”

Maria watched him but allowed him his secret. He couldn’t tell her because he was afraid that she’d then want Bucky. Steve wasn’t about to free Bucky from one prison only to shove back into another one.

“And we’ve been on the run ever since,” Steve continued. “We ended up at this old army training camp where we discovered SHIELD’s beginning.”

Maria frowned but let him continue.

“It started there somehow. Agent Carter’s picture’s there.” Steve swallowed. “And there was some technology that we discovered. And something else.”

“Which is?” Maria asked.

“That SHIELD had been infiltrated by HYRDA,” Steve said. “From the beginning.”

“But you suspected that before going there,” Maria said.

Steve nodded. “I knew that Pierce and his team were HYDRA for a few months before then. It was why I was able to warn Fury. I  mean, if I hadn’t known that Pierce was dirty, I wouldn’t have thought twice about his reasoning for Fury’s death.”

Maria sighed. “Fury’s given me a simpler version of this tale.”

“I figured,” Steve said.

“So, what do we do?” Maria asked.

Steve hesitated.

“I assume you already have a plan or at least an idea of a plan,” Maria said.

“I do, but it’s risky,” Steve said, talking to all three people sitting in front of him.

“What isn’t?” Sam said, speaking up for the first time. Steve wondered if he should have given Sam more of the background of everything before Maria got here but he figured it would be easier to just do it all at once.

“Just tell us the plan, Steve,” Maria said gently. “We can all still back out if we don’t think it’s worth the risk.”

Steve nodded. “So. The helicarriers. They’re going to be the ones that are doing the targeting. We’ll need to get on board and physically switch the targets.”

Maria frowned. “There’s no way to do that remotely?”

Steve shrugged. “I have no idea. But I know physically swapping out the target data is going to be our best, most sure bet.”

Maria froze. “You want to change the targets.”

Steve nodded.

“But you’ll still be on board.”

“Not if things go according to plan,” Steve said.

“Can you please start filling in blanks,” Sam asked. “Me and him don’t have you’re super-secret code down yet.”

Steve chucked a little. “Basically we’ll have to get onto the helicarriers and physically change the data so the helicarriers no longer target actual people. We’re going to make them target the other helicarriers.”

“What if people on board are not HYDRA?” Sam asked. “What if they’re just like you were? What if they have no idea what they’re really doing?”

Steve hesitated. “Then we give them a choice.”

“Steve, that’s a suicide mission,” Maria said. “The only thing you have going for you is the element of surprise. If you announce yourself, you’ll have nothing. You’re just one man; you can’t take on an entire team of HYDRA agents.”

“I can’t just let innocent people die on those ships, Maria,” Steve said solemnly. “I need to give every person the truth and the option to decide for themselves what they want.”

“All right,” Maria said. “So if they know you’re on board, how do you expect to still get away with swapping out the targets?”

“Well,” Steve’s eyes flicked over to Bucky. “I’m thinking of being a little stealthy.”

Maria’s brows raised and Bucky’s mouth turned up at the corners.

“I was thinking that, if you are all still on board with this plan, we’d split up. Maria I’d need you to man the controls down on the ground, being our eyes and ears to what we can’t see. The three of us would split up, each one taking one helicarrier.” Steve paused.

“I’d announce myself and they would just think I was alone, but I’d have you guys with me.”

“Or you could announce yourself _after_ the targets have been swapped,” Sam suggested. “Less chance of violence.”

“By now everyone on my old team would have heard that I’m a traitor, that I went AWOL. Hell, probably even that I’m the one who killed Fury. Pierce will have turned this around on me so anyone I come across will think they’re doing the right thing by taking down the man who killed their Commander,” Steve explained.

“Yes, announcing myself is a risk because it lets _everyone_ know that I’m there,” Steve said. “But it also gives us a chance because there’s bound to be some people who listen to me and will help us.”

“You are such an optimist,” Sam said shaking his head. “But I’ve got your back.”

“Me too,” Maria said. “I should be able to come up with some sort of disk that you should just be able to swap out. Much easier than trying to break into the main control room and manually override the program.”

Bucky’s hand landed on Steve’s leg and he took that to mean that Bucky was with him too. He glanced up at him and gave him a reassuring smile.

“Thank you,” Steve said to all of them. “I know how much I’m asking you all to risk here.”

“That’s exactly why we’re doing this,” Maria said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have a lot of work ahead of me tonight. We’ll meet tomorrow at ten hundred hours here.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Sam smiled at her. “I’ll walk you out.”

Steve thanked Maria again and watched Sam and Maria leave their little kitchen meeting.

“You sure about this, Buck?” Steve asked.

“Till the end of the line, right?” Bucky asked quietly.

Steve nodded and covered Bucky’s hand with his own, both of them resting on the table for a few seconds. “Till the end of the line.”

* * *

Later that night, Sam cornered Steve while Bucky was showering.

“Hey man,” Sam said. “Are you sure we can trust him?”

Steve frowned at him. “Of course we can.”

“I’m not saying you two haven’t created some adorable little relationship,” Sam said. “It’s cute. It really is. But he was also brainwashed. He could be triggered or be playing you.”

“He’s not playing me,” Steve said. “I know him better than I know anyone else. I know what’ he’s been through and I can tell you that he’s not just lying.”

Sam hesitated before saying, “But you do think there’s a chance he’ll be triggered.”

Steve sighed. “It would be irresponsible of me to assume that it’s not a possibility. It’s one that he’s even thought of too. But it’s important to him to be a part of this.

“Sam, they’ve taken everything from him. This is his chance to start balancing the scales,” Steve said.

“He thinks that, or you do?” Sam questioned.

“Fair point. But it’s his decision. It’s always been his decision.” Steve sighed. “I can’t ask him to sit this out when he’s still feeling the after-effects of everything they did to him. Let him have this chance to fight back.”

“And if he fights back against you?” Sam asked.

Steve sighed again and turned his head toward the bathroom. “I’ll handle it.”

“Steve, I know you’re mister muscular and bionic man and everything, but he’s literally got a _metal arm_. I don’t know if you know much about physics and force, but the man’s got a metal arm! That trumps your flesh arm, not matter how strong you are,” Sam said.

“I am aware of that,” Steve said.

“Didn’t you say that he was enhanced somehow?” Sam asked.

Steve nodded.

“And you think that you’re going to be able to stop a biologically enhanced man with a metal arm?” Sam asked.

“I can handle it,” Steve said. “Trust me.”

Sam frowned. “How did you survive that fall?”

Steve clenched his jaw.

“You got enhanced too, didn’t you?” Sam asked.

“Sort of,” Steve said. “He had to give me some blood because I had lost so much of it. It fused with mine and now I’m a little...more than I used to be.”

“That shit is dangerous, Steve.”

“I know that. It’s not like I asked for it. But it was that and maybe die or not that and definitely die,” Steve said. “I wasn’t conscious, but I would have made the same choice.”

Sam sighed. “I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing.”

“I don’t.” Steve smiled and Sam chuckled.

“That much is obvious.”

“You sure you’re okay with this?” Steve asked again.

Sam reached out to squeeze Steve’s shoulder. “Yeah. I am.”

Steve smiled and felt like a little weight had been taken off him. Perhaps this would work out all right in the end.

* * *

The next morning, Maria arrived right at ten. It was actually at nine thirty because she claimed she was too wired to do anything else.

Steve walked out to join them, strapping the shield he’d found onto his forearm. Sam started laughing and Maria just stared with her mouth open. Even Bucky, the traitor, was starting at him like he’d grown another head.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Sam asked.

“A uniform,” Steve said. “If you’re going to fight a war, you have to wear a uniform.”

“Man it looks like one of my sister’s old dance recital outfits. For a patriotic jazz number. This is amazing.” Sam started shuffling around his kitchen. “Where’s my phone?”

“Why?”

“I have _got_ to take a picture of this,” Sam said, holding up the phone in question. “This is just too good.”

“Sam—“ Steve frowned.

“No,” Sam directed. “Work for the camera. Look at that chiseled jaw.”

Sam snapped a few photos, still laughing to himself. “This is a good one. I’m gonna get this framed.”

“No you’re not,” Steve argued.

“Boys,” Maria said. “Can we focus on the plan now and on Steve’s costume later?”

“It’s a uniform,” Steve argued. “Not a costume.”

“Whatever you say,” Sam said with a laugh.

Maria ignored them both and continued on, mostly talking to Bucky at this point.

“We’re all going to have comms so we can communicate,” Maria said, indicating to the small black ear pieces sitting on Sam’s table. “We’ll sneak into HQ and create our own base inside. I have a few places in mind. From there, you three will need to get onto the helicarriers and simply swap out these disks.”

She set three disks onto table. “The ones you’ll need to replace will be located in each ship’s main-frame. These replacements are only meant to give me control. It’s going to override whatever codes and program’s they’ve implemented so I’ll be able to change the program and targets.

“However, there’s a catch. It’ll only work if all three have been swapped. And it will only be an option for a few minutes. Their programmers and the software they have will be working against us. As soon as you have swapped all three, the software’s going to try and override my commands. When it’s unsuccessful, the programming will change to shut-down. It will take the helicarriers off line completely and put them into manual controls.”

“How much time will we have?” Steve asked.

“If we’re lucky, five minutes,” Maria said. “But we’re looking at closer to two minutes.”

“Jesus,” Sam said.

“But it won’t start until all three are locked,” Maria said. “If we stick to the plan, we should be okay.”

“What exactly is the plan?” Steve asked her.

“Once we get inside HQ, the first challenge is going to be getting you three onto the helicarriers. Sam, can you carry Steve up to drop him off on one of them before you head to yours?” Maria asked.

“Not if he’s wearing that.” Sam laughed.

“I’m starting to think you’re jealous,” Steve said. “Maybe I’ll get you one for Christmas.”

“I hope not,” Sam said. “But yeah. I can take him. I wouldn’t be able to take Bucky at the same time, but I can come back for him.”

Bucky shook his head. “I can take a quinjet.”

All eyes shot to Steve as if he was the authority on this. Steve just nodded. “Bucky’s a great pilot.”

Maria nodded. “Okay. That makes things a little easier. But you’re going to be targeted, big time, for stealing one of their jets. Are you ready for that?”

Bucky nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”

“All right. Once you’re on your ship, try to get directly to the ship’s mainframe. The disk you’re looking to swap out will be on the second row, furthest to the right if you’re looking directly at it. I’ll be able to confirm if you’d selected the right one,” Maria explained.

“Then what?” Sam asked.

“You’ll have to be able to pick them up,” Maria said. “It’s really our only option then. Bucky can’t take another jet and even if he could, no one’s going to just let him take off. You’ll just have to be quick.”

“No pressure.”

“What about taking down Pierce?” Steve asked.

“It won’t matter,” Bucky said. “You kill him, someone else will just take his place. The entire organization’s going to have to be rooted out.”

“Okay. So leave Pierce alone,” Maria said. “Everyone clear on the plan?”

The boys all nodded.

“If you run into any problems, just try and figure it out and we’ll go from there,” Maria said. “This is mostly going to depend on your instincts and training.”

Steve and Sam shared a look of bewildered excitement.

“Let’s do this,” Maria said with a genuine smile. She placed her comm in her ear and started toward the door. Sam followed quickly behind her.

Bucky’s hand landed on Steve’s arm, halting his steps.

“If I get the shot, I’m taking it,” Bucky said.

“On Pierce?” Steve asked. “I thought you said it didn’t matter.”

“It does to me,” Bucky said. “I…I need to do this.”

Steve nodded. “The choice is yours.”

Bucky nodded. “Thanks.”

“Buck? Don’t let him die too quickly,” Steve said quietly. Bucky gave him a grim smile but didn’t argue with him.

This was it. It was time to go.

* * *

Thanks to Maria’s intel, they were able to sneak in through the back and climb their way up the elevator shaft—after disabling it of course—to the control room.

The techs inside were surprised to see Maria Hill in the first place, let alone leading a guy with a jetpack on his back, a guy with a metal arm, and a guy dressed up as an American flag. Steve was sure they made quite the picture.

“I’m going to need this room,” Maria said, pointing to the main tech’s control room. “Is that going to be a problem?”

It wasn’t. No one moved, let alone tried to raise a fight or alarm.

Steve walked over to a guy who was sitting next to a microphone. “This thing work?”

The guy nodded.

“Can you get it to broadcast to the entire building and to the helicarriers?” Steve asked.

The tech nodded again and got to work, fiddling with different buttons. He flicked a final switch and a small red light came on. He nodded at Steve again and Steve took that as his cue.

“This is Captain Steve Rogers, former SHIELD employee and STRIKE team leader. By now I’m sure you’ve heard many different stories regarding me and what I’ve done. I’m sure some of it’s true, but I’m here to tell you my side.

“SHIELD isn’t what they say it is,” Steve continued. “It’s been infiltrated by HYRDA, an organization we fought against during the Second World War. HYDRA’s always been here, lying in wait. I know it sounds unbelievable, but it’s true. Think back to different assignments you’ve been given, the casualness regarding death and destruction. If we were really fighting for the American people, wouldn’t they have cared a little more about the lives being forfeit?

“Right now I’m sure Alexander Pierce and his agents are trying to target me, bring me down, because they didn’t want you guys to know this. But I can’t sit by and watch them kill millions of people for their vision of peace.

“I’m willing to bet there are a few people here who feel the same way,” Steve said. “I wanted you all to know the truth of who you’re really working for before this happened. I wanted to give everyone a choice to determine who and what they’re fighting for.”

Steve pulled away from the mic and looked around. Every pair of eyes was on him and he suddenly felt very self-conscious. “Was that okay?”

The tech guy nodded but said nothing else. Steve was starting to think the guy just couldn’t speak at all.

“Rousing speech, Braveheart,” Sam said, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye.

Steve laughed.

“Boys?” Maria said. “You should really get going.”

Steve went to Bucky, placing his hand on his shoulder and wanting nothing more than to pull him into his arms and just hug him, to remind them both that they’re still here, still fighting, and will continue to fight. Together.

“You okay?” Steve asked softly.

Bucky nodded and didn’t anything. The closer they had gotten to this building, the more Bucky shut down and the more the Soldier came out.

“Good luck,” Steve said awkwardly. “I’ll see you soon.”

Bucky nodded and split away, nearly running toward the stairs that would lead down a few levels to the launch pads.

Steve turned back to Sam who was waiting for him by the stairs that would lead to the roof. “Ready?”

Sam nodded. “As I’ll ever be.”

Together they rushed out onto the roof. Sam snapped his wings open and gave a few practice flaps and loops. He swiveled back around to grab onto Steve’s forearms and hauled him up into the air.

As they were nearing the first helicarrier—the one Steve was going to be working on—Sam grunted. “Jesus you’re heavy.”

“I had a big breakfast,” Steve replied.

“I’ll say,” Sam said. He dropped him onto the deck of the ship A and turned around. “See in a bit, Captain.”

“Back at ya,” Steve said into his comm.

Steve turned to face the open landing pad and took in everything he could see. He had about fifteen seconds to get to cover before the agents stationed here would open fire. Well, they would if they were truly HYDRA.

Steve pulled the shield in front of his head and dove for the nearest stack of crates. He took cover for a few minutes, trying to gather his bearings and figure out what his next move should be. Obviously he needed to get down below to find the main frame, but that was going to be a bit difficult if he was being shot at from every angle.

He glanced over to the edge and considered. He could scale the side of the ship and try to wiggle his way inside, but that would be tricky and obviously dangerous. He couldn’t rely on Sam to catch him if something went wrong—not until he got the go ahead that Sam had completed his primary mission.

It was a bit too risky so Steve would use that only as a back-up.

His best option was to fight his way through.

Steve peered around a corner and saw that the three agents he’d seen earlier were still planted exactly where they had been, all eyes trained on his location.

Okay, so he needed a distraction or a diversion.

Steve caught the faint whistling of a missile and smiled to himself—nearly laughed actually—as he dove out from behind his crates and took off run. He managed to dodge a few bullets as he ran straight across to the opposite side of the ship.

By the time the agents heard or saw the missile it was too late. They could only try to get out of its path. Steve didn’t have time to try and see if they made it or not. He had a different mission.

He silently thanked Bucky as he made his way down into the bowels of the ship.

Steve found the main frame easily enough. It was directly in the center with a bridge leading directly to it. From a visual standpoint, it was amazing and looked spectacular. From a practical standpoint, it was ridiculous. Who would make the ship’s main frame so easy to find and access?

 _They probably hadn’t thought there’d be anyone to oppose them or try to use weapons against them after today,_ Steve thought to himself. It sent a chill down his spine to think about. He wasn’t sure exactly what this new future would have foretold, but it was obvious that Steve wouldn’t have been a part of it.

His loyalties, while never fully toward one side or the other, have always being pointed towards what was right. Killing thousands of people in the name of peace wasn’t right. Besides, as soon as Steve discovered who he was actually working for, he’d turned sides. He’d practically been ready to throw in the towel and just refuse to continue on with his long con. There’s no way his name was on the _Spare_ list.

The thought was weirdly comforting to him.

“I’m at the main frame,” Steve said.

 _“Great. Just press the button on the control panel to bring down the disks and fuses.”_  Maria’s voice was slightly tinny over the speaker in his ear. Apparently fugitives didn’t get the best comms.

“Copy that.” Steve pressed the button and waited the few seconds for the fuse panels to slide over to him.

He located the panel disk that Maria had told him about and pulled it out. Steve slid the new one in its place and sent it back to its location.

“Alpha loaded,” Steve said, sliding the old disk into his belt.

 _“Alpha locked,”_ Maria said. _“Get out of there as quick as you can. Sam what’s your ETA for Steve’s pickup?”_

 _“Gimme a second,”_ Sam said, sounding slightly out of breath.

Steve heard the sound of footsteps pounding on the floor above him and turned to run off the other side. “I might not have a minute.”

 _“Bravo loaded,”_ Sam said.

Steve rushed out of the bottom level and back up to the top. There were a few more agents than the last time. Steve briefly considered whether or not he should try and take a quinjet.

 _“Bravo locked. Nab Steve.”_ Maria paused. _“Bucky. Status?”_

The line stayed silent. Steve’s stomach clenched painfully. He looked around and saw that the Charlie helicarrier wasn’t too far away. He’d probably be able to make the jump if he had enough of a running start.

“ _Steve,”_ Maria started.

“Already on my way there,” Steve said. “Sam. On your left.”

 _“You son of bitch! You better not have—he jumped.”_ Sam’s huffed breath was angry even through the speaker.

Steve managed to grab the edge of the Charlie helicarrier, but didn’t have anywhere to grab onto to haul himself to the top.

Sam appeared at his back and reached out for him. “You’re an idiot.”

Steve laughed and grabbed his arm, clasping his forearms tightly as Sam hauled them to the top. “You’re not the first person to think that.”

“Not the last either.” Sam dropped him as soon as there was something solid to stand on below him. Sam gently lowered himself to the ground.

Steve looked around, trying to find any sign of Bucky. The top level was deserted but there was an extra quinjet on this one. Bucky was here, but where?

“What’s the plan?” Sam asked.

“We split up. I’ll find Bucky and lock this ship. You work on getting everyone off these helicarriers,” Steve said.

“How do I know the bad guys from the good guys?” Sam asked.

“If they are shooting at you, they’re bad,” Steve called over his shoulder. He had a bad feeling in his gut.

The feeling intensified as he climbed down to the bowel of the ship, feeling nervous and on edge.

“Your work was a gift to mankind,” Pierce’s voice said softly. There was a strange buzzing coming from the room as well. “We can’t complete our mission if you don’t do your part.”

There was a grunting like sound before a harsh release of breath. A harsh Russian-accented voice said, “ _Ready to comply”._

Steve wanted to throw up. Pierce had gotten to Bucky. Steve was going to kill him.

“Good boy,” Pierce said and Steve saw him reach out to pat Bucky’s head.

 _He treats him like a fucking dog,_ Steve thought angrily. _But…Dogs have been known to sometimes turn on their owners._

It was the only thought that was close to comforting.

Steve took a breath and walked out onto the bridge, joining his ex-boss and best friend—or whatever it is Bucky was to him—and stared them head-on.

“Captain Rogers,” Pierce said, his hands tightening in Bucky’s hair. “I figured you would be joining us today. This was, after all, your idea, I presume?”

Steve nodded. “He wanted to help too. He wanted to take down the people who took his life from him.”

“Took his life?” Pierce looked confused. “We _saved_ him. We brought him back from the brink of death. He would be dead if it wasn’t for us.”

“Is that what you tell yourself? So you can feel like some great big protector?” Steve shook his head, chuckling humorlessly. “You’re pathetic.”

“Perhaps,” Pierce agreed. “But I am also armed with the greatest weapon known to man.”

Steve frowned at Bucky who was staring at him as though he was trying to place him. “He’s not a weapon. He’s a person.”

“Now who’s lying to themselves?” Pierce asked with a smirk. “You really think you can take him on? He’s a trained assassin; an enhanced human. What do you think you’re going to be able to do?”

Steve just shrugged. “I don’t know. But I’m going to try.”

Pierce leaned toward Bucky and pressed his lips to Bucky’s ear, whispering something Steve couldn’t hear. It wouldn’t have mattered if he could; Steve’s mission was to break Pierce’s control over Bucky’s mind.

He didn’t have to think about the what-ifs and fears of not being able to do it. Failure wasn’t an option. Steve wasn’t about to kill Bucky, no matter what he had promised.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” Pierce said. “I wish you had stayed on our side, Steven. You two really could have achieved wonders together.”

“We still might,” Steve called after him. He didn’t get a response.

Steve watched him leave and flicked his eyes back to Bucky. There was no recognition in his eyes. “Bucky. It’s me. Steve.”

Bucky merely tilted his head.

“You know me,” Steve tried again. “We’re friends. We left this place, these people. You were never supposed to come back here.”

Bucky took one step forward. Steve braced himself.

“Please don’t make me do this,” Steve begged quietly.

 _“Pierce is leaving on a quinjet. Engage?”_ Sam’s voice flitted in his ear.

 _“Negative. Pierce is to be ignored. Focus on civilians,”_ Maria responded. _“Steve, we’re running out of time.”_

Steve raised his shield right as Bucky raised his gun and fired off three shots toward Steve. They ricocheted off Steve’s shield and he pulled back to smash his shield into Bucky’s arm, forcing the gun from his hand.

Bucky just growled and started advancing on him, reaching behind him for a knife he had in his belt. Steve just held up his shield again, praying that this would work.

Bucky continued advancing. Steve launched his shield into a metal beam; it bounced off and hit Bucky square in the face. It knocked him off balance and caused him to stumble around. Steve nabbed the shield from midair and rushed backward to call the panels to him again. He dug the extra disk out of his belt and set it on the side.

A rustling of fabric was all the warning he got before a strong metal arm was around his throat. Bucky pinned him from behind and Steve was left choking and gasping for air.

“Don’t…do this,” Steve pleaded again. It didn’t work.

Steve forced his legs to push their way along the wall there and flip them both onto the ground. The shock of the fall caused Bucky’s arm to loosen slightly. Steve used that gap to try and escape. They were unfortunately too close to the ledge and Steve ended up launching them both off it, onto the hard, glass ground below.

Thankfully, they landed in different areas and Steve was able to face Bucky. “You know me, Bucky.”

“No, I don’t,” Bucky said. He pulled himself back to his feet.

“Yes, you do,” Steve insisted. “Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. You were captured by HYDRA during World War II. I was working with you when we decided to escape.”

Bucky let out a breath and his eyes went wide.

“You have to believe me. You have to let me complete this mission. Millions of people are going to die, Buck. I can’t let that happen. Neither could you,” Steve insisted.

Bucky launched himself at Steve, fists flying. It wasn’t graceful or deadly or anything like Steve had ever seen him fight before. It was brutal and animalistic; the fight of a man on the brink of death and fighting for his life. Maybe he thought it was.

Steve felt the metal fist meet his cheek bone and grunted. “I’m your friend.”

“Mission,” Bucky said. “You’re my mission.”

Bucky’s fists continued to pummel Steve anywhere they could land. Steve could do nothing but let him. He wasn’t about to do anything to defend himself. He couldn’t. What was he going to do?

“Then finish it,” Steve said, staring him down. “Cause I’m with you till the end of the line.”

Bucky choked on a breath and fell to his knees besides Steve. His bloodied hands clutched at his face and hair.

Steve couldn’t spare a minute to comfort him, not now. He pulled himself up, trying to stay upright as he rushed back to the mainframe. Steve jumped to reach the small ladder and pulled himself back up the bridge.

The disk was right where he had left it, sitting there silently waiting for Steve to swap it out. Steve’s hands shook as he pulled out the old disk and shoved the new one in place.

“Charlie loaded,” Steve said aloud.

 _“Charlie locked,”_ Maria confirmed. _“You have thirty seconds to get out of there.”_

“Fire now,” Steve commanded.

 _“But Steve.”_ Maria paused.

“That’s an order.” Steve’s eyes found Bucky who was staring up at him, with wide terrified eyes.

 _“Cap. I can be there in ten,”_ Sam said.

“Get to safety. I’m not leaving him.” Steve jerked his head up at Bucky who shakily got to his knees.

Bucky climbed up to the bridge the same way Steve had. He stood at the other end, in a strange parody of earlier. This time, the feelings were quite different.

“Buck? You with me?” Steve asked.

Bucky nodded shakily.

“You remember what we’re doing here?” Steve asked.

Another nod.

“Good. I need you to pull it together for me, okay?” Steve asked. “We have to get out of here and I need you to fly the jet. I can’t.”

Bucky nodded and reached out for Steve but dropped his hand just as quickly. Bucky turned and started making his way back up to the launch pad. He hesitated every few steps to make sure Steve was still behind him.

They rushed out onto the platform as he heard the missiles start to launch. Bucky shoved Steve into the side of the jet and threw himself in the other. He turned the engine on and immediately launched the jet into the air; they didn’t have time for start-up checks or safe flying tactics.

“We’re clear,” Steve said into his comm as they flew away from the destruction they were leaving behind.

“Pierce.” Bucky’s lips barely moved.

“Who’s got eyes on Pierce?” Steve asked.

 _“He’s in his office packing up his files. He’s got his chopper waiting there for him.”_ Maria sounded relieved and Steve didn’t blame her. He _felt_ relieved.

Steve looked at Bucky who nodded and shifted the jet toward the Triskelion, SHIELD headquarters. Steve pulled the comm out of his ear and crushed it beneath his heel. This didn’t concern Sam and Maria.

It took them less than two minutes to land on the roof. One minute later, they launched themselves into Pierce’s office.

Pierce looked up, shock on his face.

“What the hell are you doing?” he snapped at Bucky.

“Doing a wonderful thing together,” Steve parroted back at him. Bucky met his eye and Steve nodded.

Bucky walked forward slowly, as if the entire building wasn’t on the verge of potentially collapsing.

“Kill him,” Pierce ordered.

Bucky ignored him.

Bucky ignored every command that Pierce tried to throw at him. Bucky’s metal arm caught Pierce around his throat and pulled the other man off the ground. Pierce’s hands scratched uselessly at Bucky’s arm. The only thing it produced was a strange scratching noise of fingernails against metal. 

Steve walked up to him, smiling. “I remember once you told me that Bucky and I would be unstoppable.”

Bucky turned to him, smiling grimly. Steve returned it.

“Turns out, you were right.”

Steve stood beside Bucky as they both watched the life fall drain from the man dangling before them.

Bucky dropped Pierce unceremoniously on the ground and turned toward Steve, his eyes wide. His hands went up to cup Steve’s face.

“I’m okay,” Steve said, reaching up to grab at Bucky’s wrists. He needed something to anchor him. Something to ground him.

“I’m sorry,” Bucky said softly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Shh,” Steve soothed. “It’s okay. I know.”

They stood that way for another few seconds before they remembered where they were and what was happening outside.

“What are we going to do now?” Bucky asked.

“Well, we could go on a vacation. Start a life somewhere.” Steve paused. “Or, there’s a lot of HYDRA bases that need to be taken down.”

Bucky grinned at him and Steve felt like he had never been more happy in his entire life. Bucky reached for his hand and led him back to their jet.

Steve climbed in besides Bucky and felt like they could do anything they wanted. They had escaped. They were free.

They were truly unstoppable.  

* * *

* * *

 

Nick Fury stood against the wall of the parking garage, waiting for Steve Rogers to arrive. Nick had demanded a meeting with him ever since the Project Insight incident a few months back, but Rogers had refused.

Nick had been willing to overlook the metal-armed assassin, but now the Winter Soldier was going around destroying both HYDRA _and_ SHIELD bases and Nick couldn’t let that slide.

Rogers was going to have to comply. Or Nick would bring him in. _Both_ of them.

He heard the shuffling footsteps before he saw Rogers walk out of the stairwell. Rogers gave him a small head nod as he walked over to Nick, standing a few yards away from him.

“Captain Rogers,” Nick said, taking a few steps closer to him. “It’s been a long time.”

“Fury,” Rogers greeted.

Nick took in the larger statue of the man standing in front of him and sighed internally. The rumors of Rogers’ enhancements seemed to be true after all.

“You’ve been busy since the last time we saw each other,” Nick said to him.

Rogers shrugged. “I wouldn’t say that.”

“You brought down three helicarriers, destroyed a deadly program, and helped expose a Nazi organization,” Nick countered. “What else would you call that?”

“Doing the right thing,” Rogers said.

“I could use someone with your moral compass to work with the Avengers,” Nick told him.

“I’m not a super-human,” Rogers said.

Nick very much wanted to argue that point, but he didn’t. “I wouldn’t exactly say that.”

Rogers remained quiet.

“But there are members who are not enhanced in any way,” Nick said. “I think you’d make a great asset to the team.”

Rogers winced for a split second and then schooled his features. “I’ve got other things I’m working on now.”

“Hiding your friend?” Nick asked.

Rogers tilted his head.

“I know that you’re trying to protect the Winter Soldier,” Nick said. “But you have to know that he’s destroying all the bases—HYDRA _and_ SHIELD’s.”

Rogers shrugged. “So? As far as I’m concerned, it should all go.”

“SHIELD does important work,” Nick argued.

“That’s what Pierce said.”

It was Nick’s turn to wince. “We’re rooting out the weeds.”

“The problem with weeds is that they tend to grow back, sometimes in the same spot,” Rogers said. “It might just be easier to start a new garden and destroy the old one.”

Nick changed tactics. “If you don’t bring in your friend, I’ll be forced to arrest you.”

Rogers laughed. “You can’t.”

“Yes. I can.”

“You know they’re calling me Captain America?” Rogers asked. “They think I’m some national treasure, saving the people from a life of fear. Protecting them from threats they're unaware of.”

He leaned in, closer to Nick. “You really think you could arrest me and not have a riot on your hands?”

Nick clenched his jaw.

“I’ve learned a few things about myself during the last few years,” Rogers went on. “I don’t need to follow anyone’s orders but my own now. You don’t intimidate me. And you don’t scare my _friend.”_

Nick frowned at him. “The Avengers are looking for him.”

“Let them.” Rogers shoved his hands in his pockets.

“There might be blood,” Nick said, trying desperately to appeal to Rogers’ caring side.

“Then you might want to call them off, if you’re worried about that,” Rogers said.

Nick stared at him, trying to come up with another offer or threat, but he came up empty.

“Thanks for the offer, Fury,” Rogers said. “But I’m afraid we’re not interested at this time.”

“The offer wasn’t extended to the Winter Soldier,” Nick told him.

“If you want me to join you, which I believe you do,” Rogers said. “You’ll want to extend the invite to my friend. It’ll be both of us or none of us. That is, if we even choose to join you.”

Nick clenched his jaw again but said nothing.

“I freed him from that hell,” Rogers said, his eyes fierce and angry. “If you think that I’m going to hand him over to you for your _justice_ or testing, you’re delusional.

“So, think on it. If you decide you want me that badly, you’ll extend the invite to both of us.” Rogers paused. “Otherwise leave us be.”

Rogers turned on his heel and walked away from Nick. It wasn’t a threat, not in so many words, but it definitely felt like one. Nick wasn’t sure what to do, but he knew that he was going to be on his own.

Maria refused to give him any information on the whereabouts of Rogers or the Winter Soldier or even who the flying man was. If he wanted any of them, he was going to have to swallow his pride and do as Rogers asked him—rather, commanded of him.

Nick wasn’t sure he would be able to do that.

* * *

* * *

 

It had been two months since the helicarriers and Sam Wilson had gone back to his daily, normal life.

Steve and Bucky had disappeared that day and Sam hadn’t blamed them. They had both needed time away and probably didn’t want to answer any questions.

Sam understood. He hadn’t want to get caught up in that either; Maria had helped him escape unnoticed.

To this day, no one knew that it was him behind the googles and wings.

It was nice, but he felt like he wanted _more._

Steve sent him postcards occasionally, which Sam shared with Maria, letting him know where they were or had been. Making sure Sam knew they were okay.

It was all that Sam could ask for.

Until today, when a package had been delivered for him. The address had been made out in Steve’s recognizable chicken scratch and Sam couldn’t help but smile.

He opened it at his kitchen table where the four of them had spent that long night planning their mission. When he saw what was inside, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to laugh or groan.

It was a uniform similar to the one that Steve had worn that day.

It was ridiculous and bright with its stars and stripes pattern.

Sam hated it and loved it.

Since that day, _Captain America_ had become all anyone could talk about. He became this superhero and myth all in the matter of a few hours. Sam couldn’t shake the feeling that Steve was _meant_ to be that person, that hero.

He also couldn’t ignore what this package meant. It was an apology, an offer, and an invitation, all in one.

Steve’s note inside only solidified that fact: _In case DC needs Captain America. Or if you find yourself in need of some entertainment._

Steve had signed it with his traditional _SR_ as well as a location.

Sam smiled to himself as he thought about all the vacation time he had saved up. Maybe it was time for a vacation after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This story was a complete beast for me. I was so inspired months ago and then I hit a major writer's block. (I fully blame Nick Spencer for his garbage because it made me have to redo an entire chunk of my story and change everything up and around--I actually think it's better this way and I like that Steve goes a little dark at the end instead of starting there.) There was just so much time and plotting put into this story and I sort of can't believe it's over! 
> 
> My betas and artists really stuck it out for me even though I was finishing all this at the 11th hour. They deserve so much credit. I can't thank them enough!
> 
> Feel free to come say hi on [tumblr (saras-almanac)!](http://saras-almanac.tumblr.com/ask) I love talking about these two or my writings or anything at all! If you stuck with this all the way to end and are reading this note, thank you so much! You're amazing! ♥


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